After grieve came loneliness and after loneliness came suicidal, then after suicidal came whimpers of hope by rescuers: the do-gooder to bring people back from the brink of self-harm.
I thought I was like that after dad died but after going through so many misfortunes, I found out that I was not grieving. Yes, I cried and had tainted hallucinations for a while. Yes, I felt the loneliness and the suicidal thoughts, but I felt like it was just a phase I had to go through to repay my dad and wash my sins away.
It was the torture of love and it was devastatingly sad how someone could go from complete to nothing in a matter of seconds and bullets.
"Let's go back, Lia, it's getting cold," he whispered in my ear when we stood, Levy's arms around me and my back was to his chest, just watching t
