Leighton

50. Begging

Leighton

Ara placed a globet down in front of Estelle who just stared at it. Her silence was harder to deal with. She looked at me without emotion and I could feel my palms sweating.

It’s smell didn’t even register as her scent engulfed me and I just wanted to envelope her in my arms and forgot the mess I had caused.

“Good luck.” Ara quietly smirked as walked past me. I ignored her focusing on Estelle. I needed to evoke some sort of reaction from her.

“Estelle.” I said quietly, as she was staring into space, looking at the goblet.

When she didn’t respond I moved more into the room. I didn’t want to startle or rush her but I wanted to be closer so I could somehow attend to block her from the potion.

“Estelle. Please don’t do this.” I was begging, and I didn’t care. I was willing to do anything she needed me to.

“Why…” She coughed to clear her throat. “Why?”

I blinked twice, surprised that she had acknowledged me.

“Why?” I replied still surprised.

“Why should I not do this.” Her eyes trained on the goblet not too far out of her reach. “Really it would solve much of my problems. I could still broker peace…”

“The prince is dead. Rejecting me doesn’t solve anything there baby. At least hear me out..”

I took her silence as an invitation to move closer, so close that I could almost touch her but I didn’t dare.

However the death stare she sent me after that statement stopped me in my tracks.

“Please.” I pleaded, in a vain attempt to calm her down.

She didn’t speak so I took my invitation.

“I didn’t cheat… I swear. Some things happened that I’m ashamed of but …”

“But..”

“I wouldn’t cheat, you, …you are it for me.” She wasn’t softening, her chin still definitely raised but at least her eyes were on me. Not that I could read anything in them.

“I love you. Hell I more than love you. I’ll do anything you need me to prove that and I’m so sorry that I disappointed you. I was… afraid you would well not take the news well and I was so happy to see you again I just wanted some time before I ruined things. I know that just made things worse but please baby I need you to trust me.” I didn’t keep the begging out of my voice, I couldn’t disappoint her any more.

“I know I’m not fit to be your mate, or your King but I love you so much. Please give me a chance and I’ll spend my life trying to prove I deserve you.”

She looked away but not before I could see she was holding back tears.

“You are making this even harder Leighton.” She half whispered, then she took a deep breath. “I want to trust you, to believe you. I really do. But… my head is now awash with scenarios of you … and her. Not only that but now I doubt everything. Do you even want me or just to be King?”

“I don’t care about the crown. I’d happily forgo it all if you would and take you back to Opal Lake and live quietly ever after. Well I guess maybe not THAT happily, I would feel a little bad that I was leaving your people in the care of a tyrant like King Adalfudis.”

She gave a little half hearted laugh. “Still thinking like a king.”

“The only King I care about being is the King of your heart. Tell me what to do ?”

Her shoulders lost their defiant stance, and she looked a little lost. I dared to hope that, as much as she didn’t want to she was thawing a little. Although the silence that stretched between told another story.

Eventually, before I threw myself at her feet she spoke.

“I don’t know.”

She didn’t know if she could forgive me or she didn’t know what I would do. One was slightly better than the other. I didn’t know where to press her further or wait.

“What happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“You and her, at Abaddon. Tell me.”

Oh holy goddess I did not want to do that. But finally she was speaking to me and looking at me again. Her emotions were back under control, which was dangerous for me.

I swallowed. “ What do you want to know.”

“Everything.”

“Okay.” I cringed inwardly as I tried to remember the memories I had tried to suppress. “I can’t quite remember how she even ended up in my room.” Estelle raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes like she didn’t believe me already.

“I’m telling the truth. I was aware of her scent pretty much as soon as I saw her again but as time went on it got stronger. She got upset when she realised I was there to fight the Prince and when she threw herself into my arms I felt these weird sparks.

My first thought was that something had happened to you but Titan was sure you were fine. I..” I was bit ashamed now.

“I tried to use Rhiannon to her the medallion so I was probably more accepting of her that I should have been. But when she kissed me I didn’t stop her, I let her remove her clothes and…”

“And?”

“We kissed and she… suckmyc****” I said in one breath.

“Nothing else happened. I swear. I dont know what happened one minute I was thinking she was beautiful and I was in love and then all I could think of was you. I know now it was magic, but for a very short moment it felt real. Peter came to make sure I took the potion but I had seen sense by then. I should have been stronger, I was just caught by surprise that there was such a pull still.”

“And now ?”

“Now? I feel nothing, her scent is no stronger than any other wolf.”

“So you won’t object to me killing her?”

“No, not at all.” I said firmly and truthfully. Rhiannon had clearly manipulated me, now more than once if my suspicions about her little episode just was, as I now suspected, a ploy to come between me and Estelle. I had a suspicion that it was more than just wanting me as her mate, so either the King wanted Estelle unmated or there was another plan I couldn’t work out yet. I wasn’t brave enough to suggest to Estelle we keep her alive and try to find out. I wasn’t taking any risks.

She was finally looking at me.

“Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?” She said sadly, my hope diminishing slightly.

“Because I’m an i***t, and I, I didn’t know how, I don’t want to lose you and I liked the way you were looking at me, like I hung the moon and I selfishly wanted to keep that feeling. See down I knew I would have to tell you, but just for a moment I felt like maybe I was good enough for you, I deserved a mate like you and I … was just drunk on that.” I hung my head as the shame washed over me that in reality it couldn’t be further from the truth. I would never deserve a mate like her. Who was I kidding.

“Why was it so hard to believe you deserved to be my mate? She asked, with what looked like genuine concern in her eyes.

“Come on Princess, have you looked in the mirror recently. Even if we take your title away, you are impossibly gorgeous, and annoyingly good at everything you want to be. You’re gifted, and unlike anyone I have ever met..”

I think she was ever so slightly blushing as I spoke.

“How could I ever think I deserved you, I can’t think of any wolf on this planet good enough for you.” I wasn’t lying, throughout these last few weeks as I slowly found myself head over heels in love with her I only wished that she was free to choose the mate she wanted, even if it hadn’t been me.

“I don’t care about being a King, you can rule as Queen I’ll just be your mate, just let me be that.”

I didn’t know what else I could say. I could fight the rejection all I wanted to but ultimately if she couldn’t forgive me I didn’t know what I would do.