Leighton

43. Shame on you

Greer

I had never thought to doubt Jackson, in all the years since Ara left. But there, in that moment I was transported back to my past, when someone was always chosen over me. Despite striving for perfection, my desire for a peaceful life, there was always a doubt, that I would be enough.

I don’t know that I would have taken well to finding anyone in Jackson’s bed but Ara was just not what I was expecting and it crushed me.

In my shock I didn’t register his confusion, I was trying not to show my devastation. Hearing everything about the sleeping draught didn’t make those feelings instantly go away. But no matter how I was feeling I couldn’t bear to see Jackson so upset. I knew I was sending mixed signals, calming him down while screaming inside.

I needed to know what was going on. I had felt like Jackson was hiding something from me on the phone, obviously that was the presence of Ara. Which, after all this time wouldn’t have worried me too much until what I saw just now. Despite believing him, I just somehow I felt there was more going on and I wasn’t quite sure Jackson was willing to tell me.

While I loved his insane protection of me, it was times like now, it irked me. Keeping secrets, even for the right reasons had a nasty habit of biting you back.

Estelle

“Jackson can you give us a minute.” Greer asked her mate and he looked distraught at the thought of leaving. As he left he looked back over his shoulder, but his displeasure was clear.

I sat in the kitchen and wondered how I could try to explain the whole thing to Greer. Where did one start this.

“So really the whole things my fault. I should have tried to hide my scent or something and never touched my mate. If I had done that then none of this.” I pointed to Greer and then at the door. “Would have happened.”

“Why didn’t you ever consider that ?” Iris asked.

“I guess, I guess I kind of hoped that maybe it would be the Prince or maybe I’m just selfish and I wanted it al. Regardless of all the risks. But when it came to it I wasn’t brave enough to fight for him and now look at the mess I’m in.”

“Do you regret meeting Leighton?” Greer asked quietly.

“Honestly, no.” I didn’t even have to think. “Do I regret this mess I’ve created, of course but no I can’t regret meeting him.” I said sadly.

“This isn’t your fault. Jackson chose to keep me in the dark, just like Ara chose to… have as she did.” Greer said quietly.

“Will you forgive him ?” I asked.

“I love him and while I’m still rather pissed, I know he kept me in the dark because he thought it was safer for me. I just wasn’t expecting … that.”

“Why do our mates not realise that we are made of tougher stuff than they expect.” Iris huffed.

“I guess it is kind of hard to be mad at him for the Ara thing. He really had nothing to do with her, he refused to see, speak or work with her. He was actually leaving to go back to you before you too appeared.” I shrugged.

Greer looked a little lost.

“Normally I’m all for making him sweat but Jackson will mop like a lovesick puppy so I’m inclined to agree with the princess.” Said Iris.

“I do feel bad taking it out on Jackson. It’s just maybe because it’s her. Who would have thought that she would still harbour feelings for him after all these years?”

Iris snorted making Greer smile. I didn’t know what their silent exchange meant.

“Iris doesn’t understand the attraction with Jackson, she finds him too boring.”

I guess compared with her mate Jackson was the strong silent type where as Oliver was like a volcano. Both impressive but in very different ways, it struck me as odd they were friends but then when I thought about the rest it possibly balanced them out. Jackson being so close to Leighton I felt the need to defend him.

“I guess there is something attractive in the power your mates and the other alphas emit.” I agreed. It was certainly the first thing I noticed about Leighton.

“I really don’t think you should make him sweat much longer. Sit down and I will fill you in. We have lots of work to do before Leighton returns.”

I have a briefest summary I could, because, if I was honest there was still some parts of the plan I didn’t fully understand.

“So realistically what are his chances of coming back?” Iris asked the question I was afraid to answer.

“The witches gave him a potion that should protect him from the fire element, if that works and it’s a fair fight them there is no way the Prince can beat him, but …” I didn’t need to finish, the likelihood was that they would do everything they could to sabotage him and there was nothing I could do to help. Or was there.

“Why do I feel like the princess is hatching a plan without us?” Iris turned to Greer as I stopped mid sentence.

“One way we could help Leighton is if we were to make them too distracted to worry about sabotaging him.”

“What did you have in mind?” Iris was all ears.

“We can’t interfere but if a neutral party were to arrive, maybe it would take their mind of him.” I suggested.

“I’ll organise our departure, Greer decide if you want Jackson with us or not.”

“You shouldn’t take Greer. You have to assume they saw the prophecy.”

“Okay Oliver and I will go, Greer and Jackson could probably use some time anyway.” She squeezed her friend’s hand.

“Why did you guys take off anyway ?” I asked her.

“We heard that a pack nearby was missing its alpha, a pack that has closely allied themselves with King Adalfudis. We think he sent his son to us as a spy to gather contacts. We went to see if the rumours were true.”

The sad look on her eye told me they were.

“His beta said he felt a power shift, like the kind you feel when your alpha dies. I assume there was no blood heir and the powers passed to him.”

“That doesn’t make sense, if the King wanted allies why would he kill the alpha.”

“I can only assume, because we don’t know for sure, that the alpha had something that was of use to him and possibly didn’t want to let it go? We wondered if they had maybe had a gifted wolf or something but I don’t think one could have been so close to us without me seeming it.”

I groaned outwardly. “Another problem that doesn’t make sense.

As I turned to leave Iris asked where I was going.

“I’m going to see what on earth Ara thought she was doing, then decide what we do with her. I can’t let her be harmed while Leighton needs her potion but I have to decide if we can trust her.”

“Of course we can’t trust her, she might have already be working with the King to get rid of Greer.”

“She could have done that already if she wanted to.” I pointed out. “ and …if you hadn’t turned up here would we even know she did what she did.”

True to my order Seamis has placed her in the cells, one of the better ones though.

She was sat in the corner, not looking as sorry as I hoped.

“I wondered if you would come.” She mused.

“Why ?”

“Because you have trust issues and you trusted me. I didn’t betray you Princess. I didn’t betray anyone. I know I shouldn’t have drugged him but I just didn’t expect to still have feeling for him. You don’t understand what it’s like to have the love of your life hate you.”

“I meant why did you do it? But I guess you answered that. I kind of understand why he hates you.”

“Do you ?”

“Yes, I think I do. Maybe it’s a wolf thing. You were never going to compare to his mate.”

She huffed. “Wolves and mates… I can’t even hate her. She is literally goodness personified. I couldn’t help be jealous of her though, I’m surprised you got in with her, with her history with Leighton.”

“I know he wanted her to be his mate, he told me that himself. But he was happy being her friend before he met me, so it’s not really my business.”

My sympathy for her was waning, she clearly hit a little nerve, my jealousy was at an all time high without Leighton here to soothe me.

“Don’t you worry he compares you to her though?”

The thought hadn’t entered my mind until now.

“What are you getting at Ara?” I knew her well enough now to tell she was making a point.

She signed. “You have grown wiser, I’m proud of you. My point. We are all fallible Princess, even you, even your mate. But it’s the choices we make that define us. Like you choose not to dwell on their past relationship because it might harm your future one. That doesn’t mean you won’t be jealous of it sometimes. I could have had Jackson, if I had used dark magic I would have been strong enough to defeat Greer. But I chose not to long ago, and I’ve done so much more good than I ever thought. I understand my actions have dented your trust, but I never claimed to be some saintly witch. I have made mistakes, more than I like, and I know that even if made due to love it doesn’t make them right but I can’t turn these feelings of. I’ve never met someone who made me feel like he did. I wish I could make it stop, I really do.

I haven’t just kept Greers secret al these years because I owe her but despite wanting to hate and being as jealous as sin of her, I just can’t bring myself to hate her.”

I was silent while I processed her words.

“Well shame on you Ara because I think she might just hate you now.”

I left the dungeon, more now than ever I wanted Leighton to come home, I needed to be in his arms. The feeling of isolation was getting stronger and I needed him to come back.

It would nearly be dawn at Abaddon, I wondered what Leighton would be doing in the last while before the challenge. He would likely be too worried to sleep. I knew despite being exhausted I wouldn’t until he returned.

Oh moon goodness please let him win.