Stranger with the Stars

No More Bull

"I said, it's not your business." I was gritting it through my teeth. I was starting to get angry. My hands were gripping the edge of the table. My knuckles were turning white. 

"You have always been stingy with money. You barely cover yourself with the bills. I don't even get a thank you present for all this time I've been with you?" She jutted out her bottom lip in an attempt to give me a pouting face.

"Would you just f**k off, Cheryl?" Crack.

That was the best way to describe her face. A crack in the glass. Her smile stopped, she froze in place and the mood changed.

"What.. did you just say to me?" She emphasized each word. 

"I said, would you just f**k off. It isn't your business. If you needed to know, you would have, and would you look at that? You didn't know. Guess what that means?" Catch these metaphorical hands, honey. No more will I take the s**t coming out of her month. I'm standing my ground this time.

"How dare you. You ungrateful little b***h! I should have thrown you out months, NO, years ago! After all I've done for you? After all the things I've gone out of my way to do for YOU?" She was standing up and pushing the chair back with a loud screech. My father had caught notice and was creeping in. she was sitting with her back away from the kitchen, unable to see him like I could.

"You sit at my dining room table. In MY house, telling me no? Just wait until I -"

"Until you what?" My father cut her off. He seemed to be trying to jump into the conversation but wasn't even sure what it was about. I sat in my chair, unmoving. I had my best poker face on. She wasn't going to get a rise out of me.

"Oh you didn't hear your daughter? She threatened me." She spat at him.

I WHAT?

Stand up for yourself.

"Excuse you, I what?" My face showed my pure confusion.

"She threatened to hurt me. She told me that she planned to do it when you weren't home today. I knew it was a good idea that I went out with the safety of my friends around me."

"I think the f**k not." I was standing now. I now had my hands flat on the table and I was staring her down. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She had fully turned to my dad, giving her best innocent look and starting to give fake tears.

"You don't believe her, do you dad?!" I was in udder shock. He stood there with no response. Did he believe her? OR was he just avoiding causing a conflict with her?

Time slowed. It felt like I could hear each heartbeat, could feel the clock ticking. 

"Dad. Answer me. Please. Anything to tell me that you're not seriously considering that I threatened her?!"

"I would never lie to you, John! All I've ever been is a mother to her!" She stomped her feet. One tear could be seen going down her face, followed with the loudest sniffles she could create. Oh, she wanted to win this fight. If she couldn't get me to bend, she would get me to leave.

My father just stood in silence. Time staying in it's creeping slow motion. His eyes kept darting between the both Cheryl and I.

I was defeated. I took my hands off the table and dropped them to my sides. There was no more leeway. There was no more hiding. I spent too long clinging to the hope that if I stuck to the routine of hiding, that I'd be okay. I was defeated.

I just stared at him. He was processing the words he wanted to say, taking in the information. I kept holding in the tears. All I wanted to do was climb across the table and smack that woman into the next dimension. I knew if I did, she'd find every possible way to put assault charges, removal from my father's life, and that I'd lose every cent to my name.

I hated her.

It's time to leave.

"I don't know." He shuddered the words. The entire time she'd been in his life, I never defied her. I always kept quiet and refused a fight. Sounds kept attempting to leave his mouth, but never more than a "Uh".

"Then I'm moving out." It started out wobbly, finishing strong. I could feel something pushing me to be stronger.

"I'll be out by next Friday, that was you won't ever have to decide on what to believe." The words felt like weights being pulled off my shoulders for the first time in years. Until I saw his eyes.

"That's. No. That's way too soon. At dinner you told me you were thinking about it and it sounded more like a few months." He was hurt. He furrowed his eyebrows and pointed to the ground with the last word. Months. I thought it was going to be about a few months, just like he did.

But it's not safe here.

"I don't feel safe in my own home. I've had to isolate myself from my own f*****g house for years now. My clothes aren't even mine. My actions have to be with whatever she wants. My life is around your stupid wife." I had snapped. I pulled my arms chest, showing I wasn't going to back down. I wasn't going to sit here and take another day of being a prisoner while my father sat back and pretended nothing was going on.

"I have done everything I can since the first day she came in, to be kind and inviting. I've been insulted every day, I've had my things torn through. Privacy doesn't exist in this house. Our own dog can't come inside. Uncle Eren won't even set foot near the house anymore! Our home looks like the Home Shopping Network's vomited on everything." I shouted with every fiber of my being.

Everything I had built up was coming out. None of it was to hurt him, I could see in his face that he was having a war with himself on how to answer without hurting Cheryl.

"I'm done, Dad. I love you, I will always love you. You are more than welcome to wherever I end up. You know that. I am not abandoning you. I just can't take it anymore." I was begging. I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't up and leaving him like my mother did so long ago. I just didn't want to pretend that I was happy.

"I understand." He whispered. He gave a faint smile and walked towards me. He placed his hands on my shoulders before pulling me in for a bear hug. I'm 1000% sure that he wouldn't have let go until..

"Ehem." Cheryl cleared her throat. I'd forgotten that she'd been standing to the side. He sniffles had stopped almost as soon as they had started. He face was covered in irritation. The one tear she shed had made a line in her foundation. She had crossed her arms and c****d her jaw out to the side.

"I'll be in the bedroom if you need me. Clearly, you don't." Each word coming out her mouth was a stab at not to me, but my dad. As he let go, I heard him take in a deep breath before answering her.

"I'll come speak to you in a minute." He stated defeated. 

She huffed and stomped off. Slamming the bedroom door behind her.

"Please be sure this is what you want to do." His attention was back on me. His hands were back on my shoulders since the hug had ended. He searched my eyes for doubt, but I had none.

"It's fine Dad, I've been looking at places for a while and I've been touring after work some days. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." It wasn't a total lie. I had thought about it, but I hadn't even started to look at places yet. If I had told him that, he'd never let me go.

I reached up and squeezed his hands.

"It's fine, dad. Really."

He let out a sign and dropped his hands.

"You should go deal with your wife." I nodded towards the direction of their room.

"Yeah, I probably should before I end up sleeping with on the f*****g couches." Nice to know he hated them that much too.

"You know our old couch is sitting in shed. It just needs to be dusted off. You can take it with you when you move. I can help you get it to where ever you go."

"I'd like that. Thank you." My eyes starting to water as I whispered each word.

It will be okay.

Off he went to deal with the wicked witch of the west. I made my way back to my room. Locking the door and dramatically throwing myself across the bed. I need to start looking for a place tonight. I don't even know what I want.

To see the stars. To breathe free.

I wiggle my way towards my night stand like an aggressive slug. I feel drained from the fight at dinner, but it won't kill me to mess around on my laptop. I can hear muffled arguing through the walls. It's not loud enough to make out the words, and honestly it doesn't sound interesting enough to care at this moment in time. I'll ask Dad about it tomorrow or something.

Tomorrow I'll have to tell Uncle Eren what's going on. I may just ask for the day off. It's already close to 9 o'clock. I haven't fully processed a plan yet, so the tea can wait until I've had a full nights rest.

The laptop isn't grand. I've had it since senior year of high school. The fan instantly comes on and does it's best to cool down the system, the screen flickers on. I can't bash on it too much, I did buy it from a pawn shop after all. With my newfound money, replacing this thing shouldn't be an issue, maybe I'll go look at some options tomorrow. It's already heating up in my lap. Some days it's gotten so hot that it's left marks on my legs.

I start of my search within considerable distance to my Dad's house or work. I don't want to go too far from him, but I also don't want to be close enough that Cheryl might feel the need to peek through the windows. I want at least two bedrooms. The apartments are too much monthly and the neighbors would be too close. A condo is a good option, however they seem to be even higher than the apartments.

I zoom out on the map. What area would I even want to live in? Suburban? Rural? Bum-f**k-Egypt? Maybe somewhere -

With tree's.

Yeah, somewhere with lots of trees. Something more nature like. Something not as busy. I stare at the map, when out of the northern edge of view, there's some red dots.

There.

It looks like there are some rental homes in a small town called Ashburne about 3 and half hours away. That's not too far from home, but it sure isn't close. I put the name into Google. It's not too big and not too small. A couple thousand people there in total. It holds some big retailer stores like Target and Wal-mart. There is some home improvement stores, plenty of grocery options, clothing stores, and even a pretty good handful of restaurants.

There is a community college close to the center. That'd be pretty nice to go back to school. They don't seem to have too big of a student population. The reviews are great. I'll look into the degree's and class availability later this week.

It's beautiful.

Large pine trees cover the area. Photos of animals crossing streams, hilly areas with different shopping centers, and stunning homes with character built in.

Home.

It's right, it does feel like home. I'm oddly drawn to it. Looking into the few homes listed, they're far too big for me. I have no need for a 5 bedroom home. I'd like to be somewhat closer to town, but not smack in the middle.

The last listing on the page is actually the newest one posted, and conveniently the cheapest. It looks adorable on the outside. A few photos are with the listing showing that it's only a two bedroom with a large backyard and two and half bathrooms. It's perfect.

Home.

With the details to contact the home owner listed on screen, I decide that it's best to give them a call as soon as possible. It's about getting pretty late at this point, there is a very large possibility that they've already gone to bed. I'll just leave a voicemail. It can't hurt to see if someone may answer.

I have to try. Put your big girl panties on, Lex!

A gentle voice answers the phone.

"Hello, this is Grace."

"Hi, my name is Ellie Williams and I'm interested in the home for rent? I saw your add online posted a few days ago? The house on Wolf Pine Road? Is it still available? I'm so sorry to call this late in the evening. I just came across your post."

"Oh, I should have known! Yes! Did you want to come see it? I was wide awake, so no need to worry about the timing."

"Yes, please. When is the soonest I could come by? I can work with whatever fits your schedule the best."

"Alright, how about Wednesday morning? It will be quieter and traffic should be quite light. Let's say about 9 am?"

"That sounds perfect. I have yet to visit Ashburne. I'll be driving in from about three or four hours south of you. I currently live in the-"

"Oh! No need to worry, darling. Take your time getting here. Please feel free to park in the driveway when you come up. Since you have yet to see this pretty little place I call home, let me tell you about it!"

Grace proceeded to go into detail about how she lived in the town her whole life and how beautiful it she had always found it. She talked about watching the town change and update with the years.

The home was in a medium sized neighborhood, but she warned that the animals would be found everywhere in the area. I was staring at the screen of the photo of the front of the home as she spoke. It was more than I could have hoped for.

We are finding our way home.