The Days of Yesterday - Once were

Chapter 2

I hopped onto the bike, stashing my stuff up front, and she leapt on behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist. Man, this girl had guts—sure, I was her boyfriend, but this was our first meeting, and here she was, hugging me like it was nothing.

• “First time meeting, and you’re already hugging me?”

• “What’s there to be afraid of? I’m hugging my hubby!” she chirped. I shook my head, smiling, and twisted the throttle. She tightened her grip, resting her head on my shoulder, humming softly. She must’ve been over the moon.

That day, we roamed all the spots she’d bragged about online—schools, cafes, places where she hung out with her friends. It was my first real chance to take a good look at her. She was my height, and beyond her pretty face, Linh’s figure was, well, impressive—electricity and water fully charged, you could say, more than most girls her age, or at least way ahead of the crew back in my class. That evening, she took me for a stroll, we ate random snacks until our stomachs were full, then headed back to the guesthouse. I’d planned to say so much to her, but the words wouldn’t come all day. Seeing her so happy, I couldn’t bring myself to spoil it. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure if I truly liked her. I flopped onto the bed, pulled the blanket over me, and sighed. Suddenly, she jumped in, snuggling up beside me. I turned to her, stunned.

• “What’s this?”

• “What do you mean, what?”

• “It’s late—why aren’t you going home so I can sleep? Don’t you sleep?”

• “I am sleeping!”

• “What, you planning to sleep here? What about your mom?”

• “Hehe, I told her I’m staying over at a friend’s to rehearse for a performance.”

• “You’re not scared I’ll do something stupid?”

• “Pfft, I’d kick you off the bed before you could try anything dumb,” she said, puckering her lips, then snatching the blanket to curl up and stare at me.

I didn’t feel like arguing. My mind was a whirlwind anyway. It was hard to admit that my feelings for her weren’t deep enough to make her my girlfriend. I didn’t want my playful high school romance games to hurt her. Yet, during those days when I was drowning in boredom, resentment, and apathy, she’d always been there, patiently listening—night or day, whenever I called. This time, I’d come to Tiền Giang to end this relationship, to leave the past behind and start fresh. But how could I say it when the girl lying next to me was so adorable and clearly overjoyed? Worse, I wasn’t sure I could control myself anymore… I was losing my mind. All this time, I’d been wrestling with thoughts of university, while she lay beside me singing childish songs, pressed so close I couldn’t help stealing glances. Suddenly, she looked up and caught me.

• “Aha, you p*****t, sneaking peeks?” she teased, waving a fist in front of my face.

• “I wasn’t peeking… I just… uh… me,” I stammered. “But can you move over? It’s hot as hell… lying so close, who can handle it?”

• “Pfft, I’ll lie however I want—your fault for looking!”

• “Hey, you’re right in my line of sight, and I can’t look?”

• “No looking! Close your eyes and sleep—who asked you to open them?”

I was about to lose it with this little troublemaker. Fine, I’d close my eyes and think of something else—maybe that made more sense. I sighed and shut my eyes. About ten minutes later, just as I was drifting toward dreamland, my face warmed with a soft breath. Before I could open my eyes, my lips brushed against something soft—someone’s lips. Blood rushed through me. Was this some wild dream? Whatever it was, whether it was a dream or someone forcing a kiss, I didn’t care—truth be told, I loved this kind of thing. Without opening my eyes, I reached out, pulling the person kissing me closer. The kiss was deep and sweet, the first in ages. Things spiraled out of control. She climbed fully onto me, her hands unbuttoning my shirt while her lips refused to leave mine. As the last button was about to pop, I grabbed her hands, sat up, and gently pushed her aside. She looked at me, bewildered.

• “What’s wrong?”

• “I… I can’t. I’m not a good person… My feelings for you… they’re not strong enough to do anything or make promises. I’m still a mess… I… I’m scared that if we cross that line, you’ll be the one hurt. I’m afraid you’d suffer by tying your life to someone like me, someone who doesn’t even know what tomorrow holds…”

I poured out everything—every thought, every word I’d bottled up. I didn’t know if it hurt her; her eyes seemed to lose the joy they’d held since we met. She stayed silent. So did I. I’d said it all, bracing for the worst—her walking out right then. After fifteen minutes, she stood and headed to the bathroom.

• “I’m going to shower. Wait for me, okay?”

The gentle sound of water couldn’t drown out her quiet sobs. I lay there, my heart a tangled mess. I stood to knock on the bathroom door to comfort her but hesitated, unable to step in. I leaned against the wall, listening to the water, the wind, the cars outside… a bitter smile crossed my face. After all, she wasn’t the first I’d hurt and pushed away like this. But why did I feel so strange? Was it regret?

The bathroom door opened. She stepped out, standing beside me. I tossed an empty beer can into the corner and turned to her. She wore only my shirt, the one I’d hung in the bathroom that morning. Linh said nothing, just looked at me with gentle eyes.

• “Are you okay… I… I’m sor—” Before I could finish, she hugged me tightly, pressing a hurried, fierce kiss to my lips. She pulled back, tears in her eyes.

• “…I love you. I know what you’re thinking. I’m not easy… but I love you. I’ll wait for you, hubby, until you come back to me…”

Then she kissed me again, deeply. I felt her love more than I’d realized. Gently, I wrapped my arms around Linh. Maybe I didn’t love her, but in that moment, I couldn’t stay cold.

I slept soundly. Morning came, and it was time to say goodbye to her and continue my journey. Before I left, she clung to me, talking endlessly—so much I didn’t know how to respond. All I could do was hold her tight, then silently board the bus to Sai Gon. A new life awaited, with fresh challenges and wonders. On the bus, I replied to her loving messages, but my heart felt empty, drifting. That day marked the start of my student life, though I didn’t know it would also begin a string of days filled with joy, sweetness, happiness, guilt, pain, and bitterness…