Between I Hate You's.

10📂Why.

10. | Why.

I hope you understand.. because I'm starting to not.

• • •

⏱Previously...

I was about to head up, when Cheanne crossed my mind. I don't know why.. but she just did... and then Jordan came pass my mind, and so I finally turn back.

"Jordan... Jordan can I talk to you?"

⏳ ⌛️ ⏳ . . .

The undeniable silence was in the air. I don't know if it's because we're in the terrace that's why such air existed... or it's just because I couldn't seem to open my mouth due to maybe, the fear of sudden explosion.

Being lost in my own thoughts, trying to keep my feelings all packed and reserved. I no longer could hold it any longer

Hands side to side held on to my hips, I finally spoke, "How could you leave Cheanne hanging on the confession you swear to God was genuine and true?" I say firm, and anger was undeniably visible on my face. And I wish I was aware at that point, because then maybe I could regret it, but no... it was already broken now.

He seemed to have woken up from my question.

"Didn't you know? Cheanne was on the verge of danger and where were you?"

"C-cheanne was in danger? W-what happened to her?" He says, and I didn't know if I would feel weak that the genuine care in his eyes reflected very well... or should I be relief that I could see such thing? Because then I really have no choice but to back away... why do I always have to do that?

Jordan asks, ignoring my scolding, and only focused on that one thing that seemed to have made his heart skip one giant beat.

....

"She was in danger and you weren't there. You were even the one who put her in there! Your stupid confession!" I exploded, finally letting out all these emotions for the past of nearly 2 days of anger towards my cousin whom I trusted in regards with Cheanne.

Maybe I went too far.. but all I could think about was Cheanne's tears and fears going back.. and I couldn't help but get angry.

"Where were you?" I asked, firm and eyebrows never de-clutching.

"My stupid confession? You really think it's me that put her in danger?"

Honestly, I'm at no and yes... but he was the one that brought her there, and left just like that, not even realising that those ridiculous and crazy girls were after Cheanne. Maybe I'm angry because I always thought that Cheanne is safe with Jordan.. but no, because all the jealous girls are always after her when she's close with either the two of us. At least when she's with me, we are only seen

fighting and so all of them had no other choice but to only smirk and laugh with satisfaction.. but he was too busy for whatever reason that he didn't even know that he caused Cheanne to be in there.

"You left her there. And didn't show up for two days... I thought I could trust you with her.", my eyes naturally averted to somewhere else as I spoke the last sentence.

I slip with my words. We never had a conversation about me giving up Cheanne to him, and me trusting him with Cheanne. It was all said to myself only... because obviously he had no idea what I was doing... and what I really felt, and so did I..

He seemed to have sensed something was off with the way I'm reacting with this whole situation. I wished I realised it before him, because I am completely out of it, being dragged and carried away with my emotions that I forgot that I was supposed to not care.

"Wait.. wait why are you even acting this way? I thought you don't care about her? Then why are you acting like she's your whole world?"

That shut me up... and woken the hell out of me.

The silenced filled the terrace, "W-what the hell.. what the hell Jordan.. don't talk nonsense." But then I averted my eyes somewhere to the ground... maybe my actions were the ones that was nonsense in this whole entire situation. Why am I doing this?

Maybe my cousin... knew me enough... or knew people enough to tell the difference of the one that got out of my mouth... and the truth.

"You do?" He asks in disbelief as if being confirmed by my actions.

I met his eyes.. and I swear the look on his face made me step back backwards as if I suddenly got in an escalator. Because his eyes.. held disappointment.. and a sense of hurt.

I broke the eye contact, and talked to the ground instead, "Are you serious? Of course not... of course not..."

Then I met his eyes again, because the next words I'm about to say, are the words that I have managed to constantly say and practice over and over.. that maybe it started to sound believable.. and I hope one person could tell that I was lying, but that person seemed to believe it the most.

"Cheanne? Cheanne and I? Are you serious Jordan? I thought you know me very well to tell that someone like her... that someone like her is the last person I would ever be interested in? You're ridiculous for liking her."

Maybe that was too much... but I needed to convince this man.

"Then why are you acting like I just hurt someone you care so much about?" He questions.

It was silence for a while, but soon, my eyes wonders off, trying to figure out an answer to his question.

"Ofcourse..."

Then when I had something figured out, I met his eyes again and continued,

"Cheanne cried for hours and wasted my time... she wasted my time instead of yours. Of course, I couldn't leave her there knowing that... that my cousin is in love with that girl. You'll probably beat me if I did. So.. Jordan I was doing you a favour you idiot."

My cousin scoffs, and I feel betrayed that he believed.

"How could you think that I care about her? My whole world? My whole world in your dreams... in reality, she ruins my whole world when I see her."

No.. no she doesn't.

I felt my heart tighten as I kept lying.

Jordan shakes his head, but with a smile relieved, as he was used to me hating Cheanne and saying ridiculous things that he doesn't get... and neither do I.

I only had my eyes follow Jordan's movement, and finished my act with this one last thing that I appose to say... but have no choice.

"I only care about her... because.. because you care about her. I'd hate to see you lose the love of your life."

I lost her along time ago... even when I never had her... so it's you.. it's you that should have her instead. What the hell am I saying? What the hell am I thinking?

He laughs quietly, seemingly to be touched with my words. You see, Jordan and I have a strong bond... although I give up on things without a single thought about my own. Even if, I wouldn't have second thoughts on giving it up for Jordan... because what Jordan feels is important to me.

"Seriously.. seriously what did you see in her to be so.. so crazy in love with her?"

I asked, ridiculing and only left laughing at myself as I pretended not to know.

Everything... he saw everything. Actually... actually, not everything... he has probably only seen a little bit of Cheanne. I don't take credit but I know more about Cheanne than he does.. and I take confidence in that. I-I mean.. I mean I can prank her more. Hayyy.. what's the point of hiding now... you probably know already what I feel.

If he saw everything that I've seen and heard, he would probably fall in love deeper. Damnit.. shut up Daniel.

After laughing at my oh so silly question, he goes back to being serious, and tries to confirm again, "So you don't... you're not interested in her?"

"Of course not." I forced myself to say arrogantly.

He sighs, then smiles satisfied, the tension around him went away "Good... because it's crazy for you and me to fight over one girl. I know you would win... don't discourage me like that."

Would I? I can only scoff at his comment, suddenly, also making me wonder... but what's the point of wondering? When I will never know at the end... because I would never fight.

He began to be serious again, "And you know you can't fall in love with her Daniel... you will hurt her at the end and you know that... or yourself. If you hurt her.. you're gonna see my dark side Daniel."

He reminds and warns me, and then I remembered... and realised it's time to really further back down remembering that we will only hurt ourselves if I don't figure a way out.

I smirked and scoffed, "Wow, my cousin... my cousin is really crazy in love. Wow, he would really fight me for Cheanne.. I'm starting to get jealous."

He laughs.. then got connected with his self and what he feels answering me, getting lost inside his heart.. "You know I've never felt something like this in my entire life Daniel.. I can never let that go... this is the first time I've ever felt this... and Cheanne made it possible to make me feel alive.. so I can never take watching her hurt.. I can never let anyone hurt her."

His words, made me envy him... and wished I had the strength to say what I feel.. to let it all out and shout it to the world what I want... and who I want. But specific events made me this way... maybe, I've broken down that side of me that fights for what he wants, or saying what he wants... because certain events when it was strong ruined some things... that I could never return... that I could never pay for.

I thought myself instead not to care about those things that includes fighting... making myself believe that I do in fact do not care... so what's the point of fighting for it if I don't care? Right, there is no point. I fooled myself... well done to me... ridiculous.

⌛️ ⏳ ⌛️ . . .

?Story Teller's POV.

Daniel couldn't help but feel defeated, sighing deeply as he watched Cheanne's back.

He swear to God Cheanne was sitting still, but why did it feel like she was running far away? Or slowly.. which was so much more painful, because he could feel it slowly, and every single bit of it... but he cannot do anything else but stay in his track. Because this was what he wanted right? For them to slowly drift away... but he didn't know it would be this quick. He wasn't prepared.. and maybe feels betrayed that the world turned upside down, and he is now the one longing.

But then he remembered Jordan's words again, and everything that's really happening.. and will be happening. Eyebrows clutched together, while staring at Cheanne.. he forced himself to not feel irritated and annoyed that Cheanne never turned back.

He forced himself not to feel regret. He forced himself to not feel bad. He forced himself not to feel devastated.. and mostly, he forced himself to not force those feelings, because after all.. he doesn't care right?

But what he didn't know is that, from now on... feelings will grow stronger, and he will be forcing a lot of feelings to not be felt. As Cheanne starts to run away... and as he also tries to run away... from himself.. who was full of her.. because even if she wasn't there, his heart was following her everywhere, wether he tries to deny in every possible way possible.

Ps, the story teller?

I came here because Daniel will never tell the story of him slipping his words once in a while. I came here to expose Daniel. You're absolutely welcome.