Between I Hate You's.

13📂But.

13. | But.

But.. But why should I? We're never gonna meet with our hearts opened anyway.

• • •

?Cheanne's POV.

I thankfully arrived grogelly at our school, our school that is currently in the middle of discussing something important? I was stopped going any further at my class when a crowd, precisely students were gathered in the court and seemingly listening to the said announcement.

I'm so proud of myself from making it here. I didn't know that I was a dedicated student until today. Who wouldn't anyway? I wasn't able to sleep because my beloved sister was having the party running until midnight. If I had known I would have sneaked out and would rather sleep at the park somewhere near, but they were so loud that I'd probably still hear them if it's a park somewhere near. Tsss. It's not like I have a place to go to anyway. I didn't sleep at all even when I tried to... so that's why here I am.. barely able to open my eyes.

"So some probably already has a clue of what's coming.. but some are forgetful so I'll remind what happens every June in this school.. we have our school fest carnival!!"

I was only yawning, but as I heard the teacher's announcement in the background while I was still dreaming about sleeping more, I couldn't help but just yawn more at the news.

Why was I left just yawning more? Well it's the school fest carnival... and I don't want to make you cry more with my sad life story, but I'm not interested like the rest of my super excited school mates, mostly because they have someone to go with. But me, I always never went because what's the point? It's pointless because I have no one to go with, unlike them who has friends.. they can enjoy the rides together, but me? I might end up fainting because I'm all by myself riding the rides if I ever went. I-I don't like rides anyway.

And going there.. maybe it's not about being alone, maybe it's about... feeling completely alone, when in reality.. I am surrounded by many. Sometimes.. sometimes I still wonder why that's possible.

And just like that, the sad reality of having nobody at all, just crossed by like a wind, not hitting me to the heart at all, as if I was used to this routine. Who wouldn't be used to it anyway? Like our teacher said, this is every year, and so it's not like this is new? I've been in this situation too many times, too many times to get to me.

"So everyone get ready, the carnival is in 2 days.. foods, rides, and school camp is on! Our location will be given right in your classrooms later. The school fest is obviously supposed to be here right? But it's too much work to put all the rides here, so the school decided that for this year.. it's not like gonna be the other years.. we will go to a carnival personally. We rented a whole carnival just for all of you.. so you better all make sure to enjoy it. There will be games, prices, foods like I said. But since we're travelling there.. we decided to add another thing that we maybe haven't done in so long, school camp... we will be camping near the carnival, so letters will be handed out, give it to your parents if you want to join, of course you need consent you little babies."

Consent.. thankfully I'm not interested, If I am.. that'll be a struggle to get. Besides my parents being nearly like ghost, as in them going home late at night, when I'm asleep, and as in them not being there except for my sister. It's going to be hard to find them even when we absolutely live in the same roof.

"And for those that aren't coming! You still have school sadly.. so you might as well think twice. Anyway! It's class dismissed for those who gets the parents permit, and who are interested.. but you guys that don't, you will be right here right now.. in classes doing some cool projects that you maybe absolutely don't want to do. So think carefully guys. All classmates who do not attend will be in their respective rooms separately to make it more boring. You see kids.. we want you to have fun and experience this school fest, so we will make sure to not make this time for those who don't want to attend enjoyable.. so that next time, you will choose to attend."

In that long sentence that my teacher couldn't help but say all, the only one that stuck to me was "All classmates who do not attend will be in their respective rooms." And then I finally woke up and realised that this time is also the time that Daniel and I are stuck in the same room, the time of our lives that are barely bearable because we're stuck together with nowhere to escape, but even more now! T-that we're in this situation.

Daniel never went to the school's fest too. Maybe he didn't like it as much as I did to spend the last 3 years baring with me with that almost like "detention" time, and same with me! He sadly never told me the reason.. he said he hates seeing people get excited for stupid little things, but I don't believe him.. but maybe I should, he's a person who is bitter with everything he sees anyway, so maybe that's true. While me, I also never got to tell the real reason.

"So be sure to get yourselves ready because this year's school's fest is something else!! Get ready.. but first get ready to go to your classes first. Do not get excited.. today is not the school's fest.. you all have some studying to do.. get going to your classes everyone!"

The teacher ended, but I wasn't done yet. While the area was only filled with the sound of gossiping about the upcoming fest, and walking as students headed to class, I was only left thinking.. D-Daniel and I? In the same room? I'm only trying to distance myself and now we only have this time all to ourselves? W-what am I gonna do? It was bearable before because we will only bicker and bicker, but now.. I don't want to even look at him, or walls could maybe fall apart, and I absolutely don't want that.

But I'm not gonna run away just because of him, I'm not going to the school fest and break my 3 year record of never attending just because I'm trying to avoid Daniel. W-who is he..

I'm not going to that fest no matter what. I will just.. I will just pretend that Daniel doesn't exist in that room.. just like how he pretended that that scene never existed.

Time Skipped...

My feet lead me to the cafeteria right when the school bell rang after the very sleepable time of my life. I'm fully awake now thanks to our teacher who never noticed that I had a pretty comfortable sleep at the back of the class. I finally got back all the sleep I lost because of my sister's party, and her very inconsiderate friends.

I was just lining up as if it was a routine, because indeed it was.. a repeat of everything. But it is the kind of repeat I would not mind replaying over and over.. because that means I get to eat every time, but I also have to admit, the foods here? It's just okay, but it'll do if you're really starving like right now. If I might as well get the power, I might as well fast forward the lining up part and sky rocket to eating already.

Just as I was waiting, one of my class mates, Jericho.. aka, Jessica. Yep! He prefers it that way. He suddenly interrupts my daydreaming as I was and was about to get some food when it was my turn when he hands me a piece of paper. Confused, I took it.

"A paper?.."

"No.. a wood.. a freaking wood!!" Jessica answers sarcastically, as if he was bitter for some reason?

"W-why?"

"Duuh.. girl why don't you open it? What you want me to tell you with tears in my eyes? It's not like I opened it myself.. ha-haha.. haha.. I didn't!!" He says, but guiltiness was all over when he turned to his side and laughed awkwardly, only to confirm me that he did indeed open the letter already.

I averted my eyes from him to the letter, finally opening it.

"Beautiful.. Will you please spend the school fest carnival with me? I know you're not ready to say yes to me.. but I'll make sure to prove to you that I sincerely like you.. but I can't do that if you're not gonna let me. So please come with me to the school fest carnival. I'll make sure you'll enjoy it. Love, the guy that loves you."

I only look up at Jessica, who had a painful look on his face.

"I wish everyone girl.. I wish everyone." He says painfully, but I was only lost on the letter, it didn't say exactly who.. but I didn't know why.. when I scanned the cafeteria, I stopped at Jordan's eyes, as if I knew that this was from him. Hello? Who else, it's not like I'm a heartthrob here or something, he's the only one who's blind here and has a very bad taste. But I can't help but feel completely fluttered, lost all at once.. because I'm not used to this, and never will be.

His beautiful eyes had spark again, that makes me want to shout yes like an i***t right at this moment. But thankfully I didn't and maybe I wouldn't.. but.. but.. I don't know.

His face was asking the same question on the letter, that I was looking for answers too.

"Girl.. I know you're on heaven right now but I feel like I'm in hell with my stomach rumbling so will you please continue the happiest time of your life on the side please?!!!" Jessica garbs my attention, pleading bitterly, which automatically made me move to the side, but still very much lost, as he stomps his way to get some food, bitterly still.

I only look back at the letter, as if that's the only thing I can see now, then looked back at Jordan who smiles incredibly charismatic that I nearly melted.

I didn't know why but I suddenly got excited to ride the rides. Every time I had the urge to go every year we had this fest, I always just aggressively shook my head to get it off my head that maybe I want to go.. that maybe I want to enjoy the rides, but this year.. Jordan made me not ignore the feeling and the urge to go.. by his question.

But I will never go.. even if that's Jordan asking me.. was what was running in my head, but then being stuck with Daniel passed my head, then I suddenly wanted to absolutely hide, and the only way is to go to that fest. Maybe I should.. maybe I should experience this too. What have I ever done in this world that I'm making myself suffer so much to the point that I'd rather lock myself in our classroom rather than having fun like the rest of them, but somehow over the past few years I never went, I never felt like I never went.. because I've got the whole carnival right in front of me.. Daniel who keeps making me feel the whole roller coaster when I'm with him.. because he's tough on the outside, but then he does things that makes me think that maybe.. maybe he will be there for me when I need him, but he recently confirmed that I'm stupid for thinking that, so I better make a way out of feeling that way again.. and that is.. that is going to the carnival.

All at once, the excitement to go like a kid rush in, then the urge of running away from Daniel also rush in.. which made me decide all for once.. I guess.. I guess I'm.. I might.. why not.

?Daniel's POV.

It's definitely quiet here.. but somehow, it sounded quieter that it should be.

And I get that it's definitely empty here and just me.. but again, somehow, it felt emptier that I have ever felt.

I don't get myself, or maybe I just don't want to get myself. Every year it's like this, while stupid teenagers acting like a bunch of stupid kids are all getting excited over stupid rides, here I am.. ridiculing them in this same old room. But why does it feel different this year?.. Why does it feel like something is missing?.. Some.. someone is.. is missing.

Maybe because before, I had someone to let what I think out, while now.. all I could do is ridiculously scoff and clutch my eyebrows together.

Suddenly, as I continued to clutch my eyebrows because of my uncontrollable thoughts that was throwing me with worry, betrayed feeling, and curiosity.. somehow, I had the urge to call the culprit.

Should I? Should I not?