Between I Hate You's.

06📂Left and left.

06. | Left and left.

And then there we go.. all alone. Again.

• • •

Daniel... Daniel is everything okay? Why are you so co-

My hands that was holding onto the pen froze, when what the hell I was doing sunk in.

As my hands stopped its track, I couldn't help but sigh deeply together with my eyes closing naturally.

Me? Seriously? Writing a paper letter to Daniel? What has gotten into me?

As I opened my eyes again, my head naturally turned to where Daniel was sitting. His serious yet chill posture welcomed me.

I don't know why, but I had the urge to ask him personally. Wait what? That's worse than a letter! What's happening to me?

I have the right, right? After all, he really has been acting different towards me... well at least after everything he has done, wow.. I'm really gonna punch myself in the face soon. How could I get used to it so easily?

Flashback.

⏱Day 3 after the confession...

I was eating, chilling, as if this cafeteria felt like home for a long time in 4 years. Why? I don't know.. well, well maybe I know. I just don't want to admit it. Even not wanting to admit it.. I admit, I also had a hard time admitting that. Enough with the riddles. I have never felt so much in a good mood until now. What's happening to me?

When this person welcomed me when I lift my head up, I had no idea how to keep my smiles from forming.... But then I didn't need to think of any more way and panic on hiding that smile, as it went away by itself when Daniel backs away after meeting my eyes, and averted his feet somewhere else, changing direction, and forgetting that he's been sitting on this same table for the pass 4 days now, as if we never met... and even worse than a bully he is. Why did 4 days felt like 4 years.. stupid me got attached.

Now what I needed to hide was the disappointment that reflected on my eyes.

My eyes followed Daniel who sits on another table, unbothered but as if no care in the world, or something else I can't explain. It's not like he didn't care and didn't know at all, it was more like he knew so well... but he was trying to ignore.

My eyes continued to look at him with disappointment written all over my face while he never met mine ever again. Maybe I should be thankful that he never looked back to welcome him with a face of mine that he could surely tease for a year after, but the thing is... would he? Why do I feel like he's going away?

G-gosh!!!! C-cheanne... Cheanne will you please calm down? C-calm down. What are you saying? Going away? D-daniel? Since when was he there anyway? He sat with you for 4 days and you feel like he will actually stay? As if he's not the Daniel we all know?

The bully remember? The one that knows you so well, he will use it all against you... remember? Why are you suddenly feeling all this? I'm sure I'm just over-emotional on a daily basis... I'm sure.

I finally took my eyes off of him in defeat. But he was still obviously there, he was still playing in my head.

Duhhh.. I'm not that soft to get attached please... p-please okay? The real reason is.. he is acting completely different the moment he walked in on that cafeteria. I just find it unusual. And no.. I'm not defending myself. As I was saying, his aura was different. It's as if he built a wall, well not that I care... b-but.. but usually.. yes we're enemies, but he knew me and I knew him, even if you build a million dollar wall, it would break in less than a second with our arguments. It's as if he is trying not to know me, as if he didn't know me... and as if he would never deal with me ever again. Isn't that scary? I-I'm not afraid to lose him! It's scary because... b-because... oh tell me that's normal.

I shook my head aggressively praying that by doing so, my thoughts would all be thrown away... away away from me.

This is why I hate getting the heart of mine wonder around by itself. At the end, it realises that it's still a kid... who wants to be taken care of. And a very old person like Daniel decides to come a little closer, then this heart of mine didn't realise it was willing to get adopted. There I said it. There's a lot of twist and turns in my words... but we can only come down to one... I hoped... even just a little.

End of Flashback.

So there.. that's what happened. It's been approximately 2 days since he started ignoring me. And for goodness sake, I haven't been able to calm down every time I see him. I feel like the wall is getting taller and taller, and I feel like running and jumping. Gosh, what am I saying?

He was slowly building a wall, and it is right in front of my eyes, while he had his eyes somewhere else busy building the wall and never dared to look the other side, but I wonder if he was aware of this other side.

Why does it feel like we've never met at all? Maybe that's the one that's making me feel this tightening feeling after all... for real this time. In fact.. as I can remember.. this isn't the first time.. oh there is so much more stories... the stories I nearly forgot because maybe because it was easier that way. No we weren't lovers.. eeeewwww! Not even close... maybe something more trustworthy than that maybe.

He looks up when he realised that someone was standing in front of him. Our eyes met...

There he was right in front of me, with an unfamiliar face but I'm sure I've seen it before so many times, but his cold welcome confirmed me that maybe it's our 2nd time meeting. I'm sure it's summer already, but why is it suddenly so cold.. I need someone close to hug now! But obviously it's Daniel who's the closest person in this area right now... so.. so maybe not.

His cold stare made me want to run away, but Daniel? Would make me run away? Tsss. Oh I've been through so many hell made especially by him. No way. He trained me too well even he can't fight with me. Confidence.. by him too. Check.

"U-ummm..."

His empty yet freaking freezing stare connected with mine.

I was about to finally ask, but his stare made me completely back away.

My nose scrunched, kind of sulking and told him like I would usually talk to him "N-Nothing.. tsk. You're such a feeler I hate you."

Then I stormed off back to my seat, grumpily like a kid.

While him, he was left there, and I could never tell what he felt. He still looks unbothered as his eyes never followed my trace, but either pauses, and his eyes naturally averted to the ground, then continued on with his life... as if an air just passed by. But if I saw his face, what did it look like? Tsk! This is too much brain damage.

My nose continued to scrunched as I continued to sulk, still looking at him, but then everything softens as well as my facial expression when his posture and how he reacted became way way clearer, then I couldn't help but sigh deeply. I'm scared of endings... even if it's the bully I've been wanting to never appear in front of me because he only brings me troubles, but why do I feel like I'll be missing that too?

What happened? Gosh I lose people too quickly. Why would he.. come and make me hope even just little.. then leave in not even a week? Wow.. I never thought I'd say this, but it was better off when we were enemies.. at least we were still closer. G-gosh! What am I saying.. f-forget I ever said anything please. I'll do the same.. I don't need anyone... please.