Waiting for Lune

Waiting for Lune

March 1st Sometimes I lie awake at night and think of Roman. I think about his brown eyes; the brown eyes that remind me of the predictable dark coffee he drinks, or the leaves that turn a pretty brown in Autumn. When I look at his eyes, I remember making leaf piles and jumping in them. We'd have so much fun even if we had a few bruises from rolling off the pile onto the grass. His eyes remind me of chestnuts and acorns. They remind me of my adorable brown cat, and when he's in the sun his eyes look like a precious brown, almost orange Mali Garnet. When it's hot outside in the sun and he's wearing an orange shirt, his eyes look like amber. The amber that reminds me of the amber encased mosquitos in the Jurassic Park franchise. Some nights I only think about his eyes, and sometimes I wonder if he'll ever see the love in my eyes. Other nights I think about his hair. He styles it in a tousled middle part, and sometimes he slicks it back. I've noticed he wears his hair slicked back when he's having a bad day because he gets annoyed with his hair in his eyes otherwise. He wears his hair tousled when he's feeling confident, and always wears a hair band on his wrist for me. I often lose my hair bands. He tells me all the time how he spends so much on hair bands and that I need to be more responsible. His hair is black, and not a brown black, but a obsidian or coal black. It has a grayish sheen to it, and it fits him perfectly. Most nights I like to imagine scenarios in my head where I confess to him, and I get the worse outcome to prepare myself. Other scenarios it goes well and I find out my love was never unrequited. But I know it is. Sometimes the people in my scenario randomly float or don't say the things I want them to, so I have to restart the scenario from the top. After that they usually start flying. It's odd. I would give him all I have without anything in return, and so I will continue giving him everything and loving him. At least until he finds someone he loves. I don't need him to love me, but I desperately wish he did. I hope he finds someone that loves him as much as I do, but I don't know if anyone can love Roman more than I do. So I'll continue to imagine scenarios in my head until I fall asleep. I usually fall asleep around now...

March 2nd

My eyes are itchy, and I can't stop feeling the urge to rub my eyes as hard as I can, but Roman likes my eyelashes. I don't want to rip my eyelashes off. When I wake up my eyes are always irritated, I grab my eye drops. My morning routine consists of waking up, checking another day off my calendar and texting Roman. He picks me up everyday, and has since he got his car in the tenth grade. His black Volvo that always has the air conditioning on. he is always hot and I’m always cold but he doesn’t know that nor does he need to. So I will cease my shivering, teeth chattering and complaints as to not encourage him to turn on the heat which would force him to sit in discomfort.his favorite color is a gray blue he says he doesn’t know why, but he feels melancholic when thinking about the color gray blue. He says he’s drawn to it and that he feels a strong feeling of Hireath towards it. It reminds me of the sky today, it's gloomy looking. I guess the groundhog was right about winter continuing for another 6 weeks.