The Case of Falling For You

Chapter 2

It was almost 6 a.m.

Kanina pa ako nagdedeside kung dapat na ba akong bumalik sa unit ko. I tried. I really tried! I tried to ignore whatever freakshow was happening next door, but girl, I couldn't stay there for one more second—not with that woman repeatedly calling God’s name like they were on a first-name basis!

Para akong kailangang magpakonsulta sa pari after ng lahat ng narinig ko. Gusto kong buhusan ng holy water 'yung tenga ko, tapos ipa-confess pa sa simbahan. **Forgive me Father, for I have eavesdropped—**not by choice!

I left at around 1 a.m., dalang-dala.

Bumalik ako ng mga 3 a.m., with hopes and dreams na baka tapos na ang “heavenly session” sa kabilang unit...

But no.

No.

I couldn't be more wrong.

What the f**k was that wall even made of?! Cartolina?!

Or worse, ano bang klase si Andrè? As in, tao ba siya o jackhammer?!

In the end, I spent my first night in a 24-hour coffee shop.

Sipping overpriced iced americano.

Planning Andrè’s death.

May earphones ako. Music at full blast. Nirvana. But instead of “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, ang naririnig ko pa rin ay “Oh God, yes, yes, yes!”

It was already 6 a.m.! Gising na ang mga manok! Ang jeep sa labas bumubusina na! Pero sila?! Hindi pa rin tapos?!

"Finally!" I shouted when I took off my earphones and didn’t hear any hallelujah choruses coming from the other side of the wall.

Agad akong dumiretso sa CR. I didn’t care if I lacked sleep. I needed to wash off the sins na narinig ko kagabi. I felt dirty. I felt violated.

I felt like ako yung Maricon na paulit-ulit tinatawag ni Andrè kagabi!

Could I sue him?

Mental distress is a thing, right?

After showering—and practically scrubbing my skin off with loofah and shame—I walked into the living room only to see another horror scene.

My floating shelves...

Gone.

Walang “float” sa shelves ko. Lahat ng gamit ko nasa sahig na—smash, crash, basura. Yung mga babasagin? Basag na talaga ang future nila.

"This isn't over," I muttered, like a final boss in a video game, habang nagmamartsa papunta sa elevator.

Management? You’re about to meet the most sleep-deprived version of me.

Pagdating sa ground floor, the receptionist smiled at me. Poor thing. She had no idea.

I wasn’t in the mood to be civil. I just drove all the way from freaking Pangasinan, spent the whole day arranging stuff, and now this? I deserve an award for not combusting!

“Good morning, what can I do for you?” bati niya, bright and bubbly.

“I’d like to report a disturbance.” Translation: May literal na porno sa kabilang dingding.

“From what floor, Ma’am?”

“34th. My unit’s 3402.” Sana prepared siya emotionally.

“Okay. What kind of disturbance, Ma’am?”

Oh no.

Here we go.

Namula agad ang mukha ko. Like, ketchup-level red.

Parang narinig ko ulit 'yung moans. Parang nakikita ko ulit ‘yung mga gamit ko, one by one, na nagkukusang nahuhulog. Bakit ba ako ang nahihiya?! Eh ako nga ‘tong inosenteng gustong matulog!

I cleared my throat.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Hindi ko talaga masabi! Paano ba kasi?

“Hello po, may problema po kasi, kasi malandi po ‘yung kapitbahay ko.”

Ano ‘yon? Legal term?

“Ma’am?” tanong ng manager. “Do you have a problem with the unit?”

Huminga ako nang malalim. Kalma. Don’t say the M-word.

“The previous tenant… did she have a problem with the unit?” I asked instead. Discreet. Matalino. Slightly cowardly.

The manager smiled.

“Before you arrived, Ma’am, joined unit po ang 3401 at 3402. Mag-boyfriend po kasi ang may-ari noon. Nag-break sila, kaya binenta nila ‘yung unit. Kayo po ang nakabili ng 3402.”

Wait what?!

So ibig sabihin dati, isang love nest lang sila?!

“So you mean, one unit lang sila before?”

“Yes, Ma’am. Nag-install po kami ng bagong wall para ma-divide ulit. May problema po ba?” tanong niya, suddenly sounding a bit nervous. “Nang tumawag po kasi ang father niyo, pinaayos niya po agad...”

I see. So dahil nagmamadali si Papa, baka hindi maayos ang pagka-install ng wall.

So ano na?

Tenant na ba ako ng coffee shop habang buhay?

Dahil kung si Andrè nga sa school ay siya rin ang wild animal na kapitbahay ko, then I’m pretty sure marami pa siyang… ahem… guests.

“The wall,” I began, trying to sound like a serious adult. “I was just… worried. It didn’t seem sturdy. Can you do something about it?”

“Yes, Ma’am. Ipapasched po agad. May iba pa po ba kayong concern?”

“None. Thank you,” sabi ko. Tapos diretso agad ako paakyat.

Wala pa rin si Andrè the Destroyer. Thank you, universe.

Pagbalik ko sa unit, I tried to calm myself.

Nag-review ako.

10 p.m. na. Ready na ang earphones ko, full volume. Tumalikod na rin ako sa wall—kung may mahulog man, ayokong makita.

I refuse to be banished from my own unit!

But then… the song stopped.

Dead silence.

Then suddenly…

"Holy—woooooow."

Sinundan ulit ng mariing “OH MY GOD. YESSS.”

My book shut itself. Nag-volunteer siya. Ayaw na rin niya.

Huminga ako nang malalim. Lumabas ako. Diretso ulit sa coffee shop.

I thought it would stop. Hindi naman siguro siya nightly activity, 'di ba? Hindi siya fitness routine!

So I made a deal with myself.

Just last another day.

Ayoko rin siyang sugurin—unang-una, sinabi ng management na aayusin ‘yung wall.

Pangalawa, what if siya nga ‘yung Andrè from school?

Magsasama pa kami sa school, baka maging classmate ko pa siya. Eh ‘di ang cringe? Ayoko ng bagong source ng stress.

Isa pa, sapat na si Kassy. Isa lang ang puwedeng toxic sa buhay ko at currently occupied na ang position.

That night, I wanted to sleep early. Kinabukasan, 8 a.m. ang labas ng SCA entrance exam results.

I was so nervous.

Kasi if I didn’t pass SCA, tapos na rin ang application period sa UP.

No school = No future = Magtrabaho agad = Existential crisis.

And honestly?

I wasn’t emotionally ready for a 9-to-5 life. I couldn’t even commit to a shampoo brand, tapos trabaho agad?

“Come on,” I whispered, drumming my fingers sa coffee shop table.

Three...

Two...

One...

I closed my eyes.

Uttered a desperate little prayer.

And when I opened them…

38. SANTIAGO, RIEL MARICON V.

A.K.A...

MARICON.

PASADO.

Cue dramatic gasp.

Cue coffee spilling in slow motion.

I passed.

Despite all the moaning, all the wall-quaking, and all the sleeplessness…

I. PASSED.

And that, ladies and gents, is how I survived my first week in Manila: with Jesus, caffeine, earphones, and a borderline criminal neighbor named Andrè.

"YES!"

I shouted habang tumatalon-talon ako sa loob ng unit ko na parang bagong laya sa kulungan. Literal na parang baliw lang ako na may sariling dance number. Arms flailing, hair flying, feet stomping! Wala na akong pake kung may CCTV sa hallway—mag-viral na kung mag-viral! I PASSED! I FREAKING PASSED!

Akala ko talaga wala na akong utak. Like, legit kinalawang na siya. Kasi halos isang taon akong walang inatupag kundi magplano kung paano ko idi-demolish ang existence ni Kasssy sa buhay ko. Pero tingnan mo nga naman—gumagana pa pala ang brain cells ko! May spark pa si Maricon!

I was in the middle of doing a victory body roll—yes, body roll—nang biglang may marinig akong bang! bang! bang! from the next unit.

Pero dahil high ako sa endorphins and academic validation, I just rolled my eyes and said, "Get it, boy. Get. It."

Fast forward two weeks later...

Same pa rin ang eksena. Routine. Cycle. Purgatory. Maaga pa rin akong natutulog—not because I’m healthy or whatever—but because I needed to escape the nightly s*x concert happening next door.

Sinabihan na ako ng building management na next week na raw darating ang mag-aayos ng pader. Halle-freaking-lujah! I almost cried sa saya. Nakabili na rin ako ng noise-cancelling headphones na may tag na parang kidney price. Pero worth it. Kasi kung wala ‘yon, baka sumabog na ‘ko gaya ng kama ni kuya kapitbahay.

Nasa kalagitnaan ako ng pagba-browse ng newsfeed nang may sumulpot na post mula sa SCACollegeOfLaw:

"IS, IC, IA: Statutory Construction by Agpalo (Chapters 1-5). Be ready for recitation."

IS...

IS...

Teka lang, ako ‘yun ah?!

"PUTANGINAAAA!"

Bigla akong napatayo mula sa pagkakahiga. Ilang ulit kong kinusot ang mata ko as if makakahelp ‘yon para ma-reverse ang nakasulat. Pero nope. Hindi hallucination. Totoo siya.

BUKAS NA?!

Assignment ngayon lang binigay?! CHAPTERS 1-5 PA?! Bakit hindi na lang buong libro, di ba?!

Nagmadali akong kumuha ng jacket. Hindi na ako nag-bra. Walang oras para sa societal expectations!

Nag-jog ako papunta sa pinakamalapit na bookstore as if exam na mamayang gabi. Pagbalik ko sa unit, sumabak agad ako sa pagbubuklat, pag-highlight, pag-note, at pag-panic. Literal na parang finals week meets horror movie.

Nasa page 3 pa lang ako ng Agpalo nang...

BANG.

There it goes again.

Sound of door.

Sound of tawanan ng babae.

Sound of laughter ng lalaki.

Then the all-too-familiar line:

"YES, BABY! HARDER! YES! DESTROY ME, BABY!"

Tangina talaga.

I slowly placed the cap back sa pen ko. I stood up. I marched. I had murder in my eyes.

Huminto ako sa harap ng Unit 4B. Kumalabog ako sa pinto like may utang siya sa akin. Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-KNOCK!

I was two knocks away from punching the door open nang bumukas ito.

And there he was.

Andrè.

Boxers lang ang suot. Pawis na pawis. Mukha ng isang tao na kaka-gym o kaka... never mind.

“Oh,” he said, parang nagulat pero slight amused. “Ikaw pala yung—”

"Yung pissed off neighbor mo," I snapped.

Bigla siyang nagkaforehead wrinkles. Good.

“Dude, please. Kung magra-rambulan kayo ng kama, isipin n’yong may tao sa kabilang pader na may exam, okay?”

“Wait, what?”

I straight-up imitated the nightly opera, hands in the air and everything:

“Oh, Andrè! Harder, baby! Yes, destroy me! There! Right there!”

I swear may tumulo na butil ng pawis mula sa noo niya papunta sa ilong niya pababa sa... Focus, Maricon. Focus.

“StatCon. May assignment. IS. That’s my section!” I shouted. “I'm trying to review at parang pornhub live show dito gabi-gabi!”

“Anong section mo?” tanong niya bigla.

“IS!”

Biglang napat curse si kuya, then pasok siya agad sa loob. Naiwan akong nakatayo, shocked, holding my copy of Agpalo like it was my emotional support animal.

Siyempre bukas pa ang pinto, so nakita ko ang buong eksena. May babae sa kama na nakabalot sa kumot like a sexy burrito. Nakita ko kung paanong lumapit si Andrè, may sinabi sa girl, at parang... ayun na. Bitten lip. Flirty look.

"Ugh! Get a freakin’ room—oh wait, you already have one!"

I wanted to walk away. Pero parang may invisible force na nagsabing Nope. Stay. Watch. Witness.

Nakita ko pa kung paano niya iniabot yung damit sa babae. Then she walked out. With grace. And sass. And a smug-ass grin na parang sinasabing, Sorry, ikaw walang s*x life.

I was still recovering from secondhand humiliation when bumalik si Andrè sa pintuan—still naka-boxers, mind you.

"Hey, saan naka-post?"

"Can you wear something first?!”

Parang doon lang niya na-realize na halos hubo siya sa harap ko. Pero instead of magdamit like a normal person, anong ginawa ni Mr. Confident?

He. Covered. His. n*****s.

His. n*****s.

With his hands. Parang siya pa yung may dangal na dapat itago.

"Classmates pala tayo. Saan naka-post? Sa GC? Sa sss?"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "WHAT?!"

Ngumiti siya. “Why? Ayaw mo ba?”

Ayaw ko ba?! AYAW KO NG CLASSMATE NA NARIRINIG KO GABI-GABI NA MAY BEDROOM BATTLE!

Every time I’ll see him sa room, ang iisipin ko lang ay—

"OH GOD, ANDRÈ!"