Alphas broken mate

No matter how hard you try it will come back to bite you

A part of me knew that this was a possibility.

Maybe even a small delusional part of me hoped that this would happen, that he would come after me, that he would seek me out even after I made it clear that I did not want to be found or for him to follow me. A small part of me hoped that he would not listen to me like he never did and just come to get me even when I made it clear that I would kill him if I ever saw him again.

And that part of me was happy, unlike the rest of my body.

The rest of my body was under a mix of anger and panic as I stood there frozen staring at him.

"It's been a while, Erin."

He said with that smirk that used to make my knees weak, hell it still does, but I did not let myself get lulled binder the spell of his charming smile.

My heart was beating so fast that I was sure it would pop out of my chest at any moment. The fact that he was here made me want to scream for so many reasons at the same time. I wanted to cry from anger, happiness and everything in between. All of those emotions overpowered the shock-induced freeze that I was under as I realized that it was real... that he was really here...

Thoughts, feelings and memories that I managed to keep under somewhat control with the help of cheap booze, came rushing at me like a storm or tornado, making everything too loud, too much to handle, as it snuffed out air from my chest and I could not take a breath, no air was coming into my lungs as my heart was trashing like crazy in my chest. My vision was getting dark and blurry when I felt something getting closer to me and, acted out of pure instinct, I grabbed the hand in front of me and I used it to smash the head of the hand's owner into the bar, breaking the person's nose and arm at the same time as I heard the overly familiar sound of bones breaking. This was enough to break the panicky freeze I was under as adrenalin and animal instinct took over, giving me enough clarity to realize what I just did.

Instantly, I released him and took a step back, staring at the mess I had made. My hands... no, my whole body was shaking as I stared at the blood dripping onto the dirty tiles as he slowly straightened his back looked at me.

"s**t, I forgot about your instincts... and the rest of the rumors... or should I call them legends?"

He managed to chuckle while the blood was still running down his face.

"Damn, I never thought that you could get.... Erin?"

I didn't give him a chance to finish as I was already moving. Without giving him a chance to say anything more, I more or less ran out of the bar while two parts of me were fighting between the need to sooth his pain and get away before I caused more harm. I moved though the busy pack town without a clear direction in mind or any idea where I was going at all... there was only one instinct that I could hear over the noise in my head, and it was to get as far away from him as I could. After what felt like forever, I managed to slip into a dark ally. My body was still shaking from everything that happened. My mind was still buzzing as I realized that I was not really breathing, my fingers were in their claw form, and they were covered in blood... in his blood...

There was no stopping the nausea or the bill that was rising in my throat. I almost folded in half as I emptied my stomach of the already dirty flooring as I gripped onto the wall in hopes to keep myself steady and not land face down into the puddle of my own puke.

With my eyes closed I managed to lean against the wall and slip down to a seated potion as I tried to stead my breathing, but it was not getting any more steady. My heart was beating way to fast as my mind was getting way to cloudy and everything went dark.

There was no way to tell how long I was out, but when I opened my eyes it was already dark outside, meaning that the whole day had passed at least. It took my brain a moment to start working as I blinked away the dizziness as memories started flooding me and I stared at the dried up blood on my hand.

Seeing my hands like this, was nothing new. It rarely ever made me feel anything at all... but not this time. This time, this sight was so familiar not because of the blood itself, but to whom it belonged to... it was just like back then when I hurt him before...

NO.

I slapped myself across the face before any of the memories could surface. The pain was enough to make me focus for a moment, long enough to know that I had to move before I lost control over my mind again and got swallowed by them, as well as the feeling of guilt that was already choking me up.

Shit.

Right now, there was only one place that could make it stop.

Slowly I rose to my feet, doing my best not to lose balance or pass out again. Somehow, I managed to get to my feet without either happening and, with just as much effort, I started moving. With each step I felt more and more stable physically, but just as unstable mentally. Shadows of memories kept flashing behind my eyes and I knew that I had to move fast.

It took me longer than usual to walk to the arena, but it doesn't matter, what matters is that I was here and the moment I stepped into the building it felt like I could take the first full breath since the moment I saw him at the bar. Knowing full well that I had no time to waste, I made my way to the buff Alpha guard with a list in hand. The moment he saw me a cruel smile slipped onto his face.

"You are not scheduled for today."

He said with a smirk as he read over the paper list in his hands. When he did not receive an answer from me, he lifted his eyes to look at me and then just laughed.

"Okay, fine. I will move things around. You know the way."

In general, me not talking was not anything new, but he knew that there was no refusing me.

Not because I was their best fighter, but because he knew that either he lets me into the ring or one of his men would be fighting me when I made my way there on my own. And he knew very well that none of his men stood a chance against me. Hell he knew that he himself did not have a chance against me. So like right now, they knew better than stand between me and the ring.

So, without another word, I made my way to the back to prepare for the fight. With each step, all the memories that were threatening to surface were overpowered by the anticipation of the fight as my wolf began pacing, getting ready to rip off some limbs and kill. A few more moments and she will be in control, and it will be quiet... at least for a little while.