Chapter 2
HERE’S THE DEAL: I’M going to die.
Okay, I know what you’re thinking: We’re all gonna' die one
day. But that’s not what I’m talking about here. This isn’t about the great
cosmic, circle-of-life, Elton John soundtrack kind of spiel. What I’m trying to
tell you is that it’s very possible, if not highly likely, that I could die
right in the middle of making this sentence.
I’m not the type of guy a life insurance salesman likes to
call first thing on a Monday morning. I’m not the kind of discerning shopper
who can buy now, pay later at zero percent interest. A banker would laugh at
the prospect of extending me a thirty-year mortgage much less a thirty-day
note. You just can’t bank on the fact that, at the end of the day, Richard
“d**k” Moonlight, Captain Head-Case, is sti
