Broken Chains

Chapter 14

I groaned as I slowly woke rain spattering down on my face. I rubbed a hand across my eyes and realised that a large Jacket had been draped over me I reached out and lifted it to my nose slowly inhaling and my heart fluttered as Derek’s scent exploded in my nose. Suppressing my tears I gripped the jacket and pushed myself up to my feet. My legs wobbled threateningly beneath me I quickly took stock my neck was throbbing and bleeding painfully but it wouldn’t kill me. I had scrapes on my cheek and hands most likely from the wall and pain in my hips seemed to indicate that I would have some lovely bruises there possibly from my fall, and I had clearly twisted my ankle when I fell. I rubbed my forehead and my fingers came away sticky with scarlet blood. I gripped Derek’s jacket in both my arms and held it to my nose. I walked rapidly out of the alleyway and scampered across the road furiously brushing tears out of my eyes. I didn’t know if Carl would be back yet but I wasn’t going to linger if there was a chance I could get back and hide in the bathroom. He would of course know what had happened eventually but I just needed a moment to gather myself. Thankfully the tiny hotels lobby was deserted as I was soaking wet and clearly more than a little dishevelled and I just wanted to get back to my room. I ran up the stairs ignoring the pain in my ankle though I was thankful that we were only on the second floor. An elderly lady gave me a clearly disapproving look as I passed her in the corridor I don’t know what she thought I was up to outside but she clearly didn’t approve, and I wasn’t in the mood to let it go so I just snarled and growled loudly at her . Her eyes widened but of course she didn’t say anything. I pulled my key out and opened the door of our room, as soon as the door opened the first whiff of air told me Carl wasn’t there. I sighed and hurried across the room knowing it would be close. I brought Derek’s wet Jacket to my nose inhaling one more time and placed it down tenderly on my bed. Before I grabbed Carls little first aid kit and scurried into the bathroom. I quickly peeled of my wet and blood soaked clothes and dropped them to the floor turning the shower on I jumped in keeping the water scalding hot. I just didn’t care as all I wanted to do was let the tears flow as weak as it was I just wanted to cry, and so I did I stood under the water and allowed the tears to come my shoulders shaking with emotion until I just cried myself out which didn’t take long. soon I was able to stop and get control of myself, and I just decided to return to being practical I scrubbed vigorously at my skin scouring dirt and grime out of all those multiple wounds, wincing as I felt multiple wounds I hadn’t even realised that I had. The water turning pink as it washed down the plughole.

“Jess.” Carl called as I jumped out of the shower wrapping a large white towel around me.

“Yeah.” I said brightly I jumped as Carl banged hard on the bathroom door.

“What the hell happened?” he said sharply clearly his nose suddenly locking on to the lingering scent of blood in the room.

“I’m fine Carl.” I said calmly as I took out alcohol wipes and began cleaning at my scraped hands. “I’ll be out in a second” I said looking in the mirror so I could clean the blood flowing down my cheek out of the deep graze.

“Jess.” He called his voice crackling with emotion clearly he had just found Derek’s jacket “Look I’m coming in.” he called,

“No.” I squeaked but he had already strode in, I cursed myself for not locking the door but it was habit back in the den we didn’t lock doors mainly because if you were trying to avoid another wolf a silly thing like a lock wasn’t going to stop them. To be honest though even if I had locked the door here Carl would have broken it anyway. “What do you want?” I asked squirming around trying to pull my towel tighter around me. A stupid reaction as it would have instantly made Carl more suspicious as nudity was not something that embarrassed us and anyway the wounds I should have been hiding was completely exposed on my neck. Carl reached out silently and just placed a hand on my shoulder gently he encouraged me to turn and face him, which I yielded to I didn’t have a choice. He pulled his hand out of his pocket with a small white tub I instantly recognised from home, Kate made it for us. I bit my lip as I felt tears stinging behind my eyes. It was a cream that Kate made to soothe our allergic reactions to silver. I remembered hours and hours I had spent gently massaging this cream into the scars Derek had on his neck and chest from a silver chain, watching the vivid red marks easing and healing under my fingertips as the soothing balm made Derek purr in contentment. Carl sighed and took a step closer he leaned over and ran his fingers gently along my skin brushing the hair back off my neck. I heard him intake a sharp breath as he saw the vivid red burn mark around my neck he put the tub down and reached out rubbing his fingertips gently along the marks, as I bit my lip trying not to wince.

“I think this may leave a scar." he said gently, but I shrugged that really didn’t bother me, not much really did right now. "So we’ve lost him completely.” He whispered stroking my neck. I shifted my posture so he had to look in my eyes, his gaze was intense beautiful gold but sad so sad. I shook my head gently,

“He didn’t mean it he was trying to help me.” I said gently. Carl stopped stroking my neck and instead reached down and pulled my arm out from the folds of my towel, the wrist of which was covered in vivid black bruises. I yanked my arm out of his gentle grasp and began rearranging my towel wrapping it around above my chest and securing it tightly. Carl sighed at the bruises which marred my other wrist as well as across my shoulders. His eyes also slid significantly across my grazed scratched and bleeding face. “Didn’t you ever hurt your girl?” I snarled, Carl sighed and kept his eyes locked on mine, this gaze sad so sad.

“She was human.” He said softly, “Were a lot stronger than they are, that was an accident. This.” he said gently brushing his fingers across my heavily bruised shoulders (I don’t even know how I got them). “He wanted to do this. He wanted to hurt you.” I shook my head I wouldn’t believe that I couldn’t. Carl sighed and lifted up the small tub scooping out a small amount of the sweet smelling antiseptic he began spreading small amounts across my neck wounds with his fingertips. I couldn’t help but sigh in relief . Kate’s homemade balm was wonderful at soothing and aiding healing. Carl was gentle but this was still an open wound so his gentle fingers still hurt. Carl straightened up and his eyes were even more solemn.

“Shhhh.” He whispered reaching up to brush my cheeks, “no crying.” He said brushing away the tears I didn’t realise I was spilling. I shook my head this was just too much I couldn’t stand being there under his intense golden gaze a second longer; I pushed past him and strode into our room sitting down on the end of my bed. Carl followed me a few moments later clearly after he had spent as long as he could lingering in the bathroom. He sighed and sat on the floor in front of me; he reached out and grasped both my hands within his. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, "he’s my brother and I love him. I wanted so hard to save him but” he sighed,

“Don’t.” I whispered “please, please you can’t give up on him. Not you as well.”

“It’s gone too far.” He said softly “he turned rogue, we knew he was hurting people and god knows what else but you, if he can hurt you… its gone he’s gone.”

“We hurt each other a million times.” I said lightly, it was Carls turn to shift in order to force me to look into his golden gaze,

“If your talking about the scratches down each others backs and all the bite marks you know that’s different.”

“He’s my mate.” I whispered pathetically “I can’t let him go.” Carl reached up and cupped my cheek gently so gently, it was a few seconds this time before I realised he was gently brushing his fingers across the deep graze that marred my cheek. “Please, don’t make me let him go. I can’t.” I whispered,

“I had noticed that.” He said softly, “the last time anyone tried that you ran away.” I smiled weakly. He sat up on his knees his eyes on my level now he was close so close he smelt a lot like Derek, and being this close to him I realised how much he was like him deep down in the essentials he was so much like my mate, you could tell they were brothers. “I won’t make you give up.” He whispered stroking my cheek. “I promise.” I smiled and leaned over hugging him tightly, as I slid onto the floor in front of him. Carl wrapped his arms tightly around me becoming the only thing that was keeping me from collapsing to the ground in a heap. I cringed at the multiple pains which swamped me from all the multiple wounds my encounters with Derek had given me. I had no idea how it happened and I know I never will, did I make the move or did he made that final move. All I knew was Carl was holding me pressed in tight to him and then the next instant we were kissing. Our bodies pressed in to each other so tightly our limbs entwined as we kissed each other eagerly desperately, as I revelled in the sensations of him, his taste, touch and scent all of it was so much like Derek it made something inside me ache. I was fuelled on my intense sadness and loneliness left by Derek’s absence, but I knew this wasn’t Derek everything was just a little wrong. The one thing was most notably wrong was Carl’s kisses they were gentle hesitant to begin with, but then as if he realised I wasn’t going to stop him they were just gentle as were his hands as they pulled the towel from around me and began smoothing his palms across my skin tenderly. He gave a breathless non-descript sort of sound as he smoothed his palms across my breasts, lightly tentatively as if worried that I was going to stop him. I slid my hands down his muscular arms and down his chest gripping the front of his T-shirt which I began to yank up roughly. I pulled back from my kiss for just a second as I pulled the t-shirt over his head and flung it aside. I returned to his arms almost instantly I couldn’t hesitate, we couldn’t the two of us weren’t working on logic right now. His tentative touches were still evident as he laid me down on the floor smoothing his hands across my naked skin with a similar kind of reverence to his brother. But even if I could have stopped him now I wouldn’t. But I couldn’t I had gone too far, and anyway I didn’t want to. We were both too lonely and sad. too sad to want to be alone. He was enough like Derek that every touch of his hands, every brush of his lips was an amazingly soothing balm to the usual constant pain I felt. As Carl pushed himself inside me tenderly I understood exactly why Derek had been with my sister, it was because he was still in love with me. I knew Carl wasn’t Derek he felt wrong he tasted wrong, but he was close enough. Close enough that him pushing gently into me was close enough and brought me the closest thing I had felt to peace since the two of us had been torn apart.

Derek

I jumped awake with a start and was far too aware of the intense twisting pain inside my gut. I had experienced these pains enough over the year when I was separated from Jessie to know what this meant my mate was getting laid. And I knew something else her and Carl weren’t going to bars and picking up one night stands. This pain was so intense it had already caused me to pass out which it hadn’t done for a long time. I don’t know if that was because it had been such a long time or whether it was simply because I knew that my mate Jess was f*****g my little Brother. I pushed myself up from the mattress with a snarl I strode across to the wall and punched the grimy white walls as my stomach gave an intense twist. I roared and punched the wall again and again feeling my knuckles split open and then the multiple blows broke the bones in my hand. I shook my hand cursing causing tiny flecks of blood to spatter over me.

“Hey Dare are you alright in there?” Dan called through the door,

“f**k off Dan.” I snarled,

“Alright Bro.” He said in a conceding sort of voice. The only plus point to being a rogue they weren’t so damn noisy well Beth had been but she had gotten over that as soon as she realised that I wasn’t going to become the lapdog she was aiming for. But here they may ask, well Dan would ask none of the others would care and Dan was simply that easy to dissuade from his enquires. Instincts made him want to be a pack wolf but he wasn’t inside a pack, he was trying to make one but it would never work. I snarled and curled over clutching my stomach it wasn’t the pain that bothered me although I didn’t appreciate that much either, it was the fact that Jessie was f*****g my little brother. I knew she was, I didn’t need anything to confirm it I knew it. I growled deep in my throat at just the thought. I was going to rip Carl’s throat out when I saw him. I don’t care what had happened between me and Jessie he didn’t get to touch her; he never had the right to touch her, Never. Nobody did, she was mine, MINE. I became vaguely aware of the sound of an intense growling which I realised was coming from my throat.

“Derek Bro I need some help.” Dan moaned hammering loudly on the door

“f**k off Dan.” I said roughly running my hands through my hair, collapsing down on the floor as pain stabbed in my stomach.

“Look Derek Beth is back and she brought another one of those Damn pack wolves to squeeze for info.”

“And?” I snarled. We had been forced to split up when those damn pack enforcers had chased us on mass, damn there were so many of them. We had been forced to split up me, Dan and Nathan one way Christian and Bethany the other. We had to run into neutral territory find somewhere to hold up (which we had found in an empty hotel) and just wait for the rest of our little band to catch up. But why had she brought a pack wolf with her again. I know she wanted to go back into pack territory but still it was weird.

“What do you mean its getting out of f*****g hand how many is this?” He called pushing open the door and striding into the room, “f**k what the hell happened to you? You look like s**t Bro.” He said swiftly changing tone as his eyes swept through the entire interior of the room taking in the blood stains and shattered well everything I could find to break, as well as me hunched up and sweating on my mattress.

“I don’t give a flying f**k about f*****g pack wolves right now Dan.” I said wearily,

“What did she do?” Dan asked leaning casually on the doorframe.

“Just f*****g leave it okay.” I snarled, as the sounds of a pleading scream cut through the silence of the empty hotels air. I sighed heavily stupidly I felt a bizarre urge to confess everything to him, as if I would with my pack brothers.

“It is her right Jessica because you don’t care s**t about Bethany. So she doesn’t have it in her to piss you of like this.”

“She’s just…” I sighed “she’s just screwing around again.” I said non-commitally. Dan smiled and ran a hand across his near shaven head, damn his smile was like Jessie’s it made me ache. He pushed himself up off the doorframe and moved into the room sliding down to sit on the floor next to my mattress where I was laying on my back, his back resting against the wall he cleverly didn’t look at me as he continued talking.

“look Bro I don’t know s**t about your girl and I don’t know what its like being all mated up and lovey dovey so I may have all this wrong but hell she’s your f*****g mate right, what do you do with a mate you look after them you build a life with them. The two of you make babies and you look lovingly into each others eyes and chew on the same bit of spaghetti and you know f*****g stuff like that. And surely that’s what you want for her all that. But mate you can’t give her that you’re a f*****g rogue, you ran away with her f*****g sister who you started screwing.” He sighed shaking his head “Derek look all I’m saying is what is it that you think you can give her?”

“Your right.” I said calmly pushing my hair back from my clammy forehead, “I guess I should just go do what rogues do huh?”

“Derek.” He said calmly as I strode across the room “Derek don’t be an ass.” He shouted as I strode calmly down to Bethany the screams leading me on my knuckles aching for a fight. The thick smell of blood hit me as I walked into the large room, the screams echoing in the emptiness. Bethany was across the room calmly running a knife playfully up and down the bare back of a pack wolf who was bound to the table Nathan was stood lounging against the far wall smiling seeming to enjoy this way too much,

“Hey Derek.” Bethany said smiling in that way she had that was intended to be seductive but she had long since lost any such power over me, not that it stopped her trying she liked f*****g me it pissed Jessica off. “Have you come to join the party?” I looked at her in a bland way in the past pack wolves we’d encountered I’d let it go to a certain degree and then when I needed to put an end to it I had simply appeared and put a bullet in their head.

“You want him to talk?”

“Yeah”

“So stop playing.” I said grabbing a hammer I calmly walked down the length of the table the wolf had been tied face down. “Ask your question.” I said and I vaguely heard Bethany say something but I didn’t register what it was, I didn’t care. It didn’t matter in the least to me if she found out what she wanted to know this was just because I was so mad, I didn’t care who I was hurting so long as I got to hurt someone a substitute for my Jessie and Carl a way for me to tear the intense pain from inside me, the pain that was threatening to consume me.

“He’s not talking.” Bethany said in a super sweet voice, I didn’t respond in any way except to bring my hammer down onto the back of his knees with a satisfying crunch. Across the room Nathan laughed and Bethany bit her lip and gave me on of her fake nervous girl smiles. Feeling sickened at myself I swung the hammer down onto his other knee, the screams of the wolf cut through the air like a knife.