Broken Chains

Chapter 12

The Car revved up as Carl sat in the driver’s seat gesturing for me to come and join him as I dawdled at the hotels entrance. Carl frowned over at me as I showed no inclination to move. I sighed and hefted our bag up onto my shoulder and scampered across the Pavement towards our newly acquired car (we actually acquired this semi-legally buying it off gum tree). I pulled the door open and slid into the passenger seat next to him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked,

“nothing.” I lied and leaned back in the chair closing my eyes I ran my hand gently across my forehead.

“Now your lying to me?” he asked looking at me with an expression that was a little sad maybe nothing else just a little sad.

“Can we just go?” I snapped Carl frowned at me. I narrowed my eyes, " what do you think is wrong huh? Take a wild guess Carl.” He sighed heavily as he deliberately kept his eyes averted looking everywhere but at me.

“f**k Jess.” He sighed,

“What you want me to say it okay what’s wrong is that we are going to kill your brother my mate.”

“Were going to help him, not f*****g kill him.”

“That is if one of us gets to him can you honestly think that Bryce or one of his enforcers will care enough to do the same that they want to help him they don't know who the f**k he is. He’s rogue to them this is how he should be. They don’t care what he was or what he is deep down they don’t care. All they want to do is take him out. So what’s wrong? That’s what’s wrong that this is all going to be over soon and I know by the end of today best case scenario is that we can save him and I will never see him again and worse case is that today I will have to watch a bunch of wolves rip him to death.” My voice had risen to a shout, “so what’s wrong that is what’s f*****g wrong, and how can saying this out loud be helping.”

“Your right.” Carl said in a voice so soft that I had to turn and finally lock my eyes on him he was now the one avoiding looking at me intently his eyes locked on the flow of traffic before him, his hands were locked on the steering wheel clenching it so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. The tension of this realisation was painted all through his features and in his entire posture it all radiated a siren of pure tension pure horror. “What do you want to do?” I snorted with a smile,

“What can we do?”

“We could go home.” He said softly “we could let him go, do as he will leave him to the fate he's chosen.”

“He didn’t choose this fate.” I said softly “I chose it for him.”

“He ran.”

“No I pushed him.” I said biting my lip as I felt my grief for Jamie well up inside me that dark deep loss inside me that I constantly pushed away telling myself I would deal with it later, because I couldn’t do that now I couldn't deal with a grief that deep when I was dealing with loosing Derek too. “He didn’t stop loving me I was b***h and he still loved me. I pushed him away and he didn’t care. I ran away and he was pissed but he still loved me, and I just kept on I kept on pushing him. I pushed and I pushed until I finally did it I pushed him until he broke. And what did I think would f*****g happen? Did I just think that he’d be happy to be my brother again that I could just destroy that love and we’d all move on la la la and he’d be happy to just be my brother, see me go out now get laid, maybe even f**k one or two of you guys. I don’t even think that was what I was trying to do. I don’t know what I was trying to do.” I felt tears roll down my cheeks hot burning tears.

“Shhh shhh shhhh.” Carl said as he reached over wrapping his arms around me and pulling me to him into his hand smoothing down my hair. I leaned over and cuddling into him revelling in the scent that lingered in there so much like Derek, so much like him but still so wrong. But I allowed just a second where I didn’t analyse his scent I just let my mind switch off or I tried anyway so for that second it felt that I was back in Derek’s arms again just being held pressed into Derek’s chest as he brushed my hair and made soothing noises as he held me making everything alright. But that warm illusion couldn’t last for long I opened my eyes and there was Carl. I clung harder into him as the memories of loosing Derek and Jamie’s death hit me hard all over again. I had to keep doing this I had to keep blocking this out so I could move on so that I could function but when I remembered again when they slipped back in that realisation letting my heart remember it hit me as fresh and as raw as the moment it had happened. Carl eased himself back from my arms and kissed me on the forehead, “so honey what you want to do?” he asked running his fingers down my cheek.

“It’s my fault.” I whispered “I have to try and help him I can’t move on I can’t accept him as gone until I know he is. Until he dies either physically or.” I tapped just above my heart “in here. I can’t leave until it’s done.” I said wiping the salty tears from my cheeks. Carl’s features took on a resolved sort of look which he moved away from me to focus on the road ahead of him again.

“I can do this alone.” I said hating myself for the tremble in my voice. Carl smiled and turned back to me.

“No you can’t and neither can I that’s why I brought you here. “He averted his eyes again from me and sighed. “So let’s go do this.” He said turning back and pressing his lips to mine softly for just a moment. I froze in pure shock not knowing how I should respond but before I could make a decision Carl pulled back and without a word or even a glance he turned around and started the car pulling out into the slow moving traffic.

“So where is it we are going?” I asked unfolding the map we had acquired in our travels and began trying to find where we actually were beginning from. Carl smiled,

“Well no offence Honey but wherever it is were going is not somewhere that you’d find. You'll f*****g send us to Scotland when we were aiming for lands end.” I smiled,

“We’re not going so far this time.”

“Exactly, I love you honey but I don’t want the five hour scenic route so you just sleep or something.” I gave a smile but it wasn’t a real one I leaned back into my chair and turned to look out of the window dreamily closing my eyes to stop myself from crying.

“Honey.” Carl said placing a hand on my shoulder I flinched at this gentle feather light pressure.

“sorry.” I said as his hand flung back as though it was burnt. “I didn’t realise I had nodded off."

“Well most of the time people don’t.” I looked out of the window vaguely as I stretched as much as possible while still in the confides of a car.

“We’re in a supermarket car park.” I said demonstrating my wonderful talent for stating the obvious. Carl smiled,

“I thought we’d need some food. But I didn’t want to leave you here in case you just woke up and you know.” He finished with a shrug.

“Freaked out because I’m a little princess who doesn’t get left in outside a supermarket in a hot car like a dog.” Carl smiled but decided not to comment on this little snide remark.

“Well you need to call Bryce anyway he said to call once we got here and he’d tell us where to go next.”

“You could call him and I could shop.” I said playfully as I gave another stretch.

“He likes you.” Carl said simply, I smiled,

“He likes you more.” Carl narrowed his eyes at me, I shouldn’t play with him like this I know. He was actually very tolerant of Bryce’s sexuality unlike most guys are but the fact that Bryce was so obviously attracted to him seemed to make him more than a little uncomfortable, a thing which seemed to amuse Bryce no end. I chuckled, “get some Pringles.” I said brightly leaning over and pressing a kiss to his cheek. Carl nodded and climbed out of the car.

“Lock the door.” He said simply, I nodded but I knew this already. I sighed and dutifully locked the doors as Carl scampered off towards the supermarket. I would do as he said of course no matter what it was Carl had my complete loyalty as I had realised what I had lost when I didn’t behave when I played my stupid games I had killed Jamie and Broken my Derek and driven him away, I had been forced to Kill Zac and watch my sister run away dragging my devastated mate behind her. I pushed these thoughts away and bit my lip as I dug in my pocket pulling out my mobile I scrolled down through my phone book it was so pathetic, Carl, Bryce, (though I didn’t need it as I knew it by heart) the den and Darius but I couldn’t call them and (though it was pointless as he didn’t even have it anymore) Derek’s number. That was it I scrolled down to Bryce and pressed call, the phone rung and rung as I pressed it to my ear and began to growl. Suddenly the phone clicked on and Bryce’s voice growled down the line.

“Yes.” Bryce snarled clearly in a bad mood.

“Hi Bryce its Jessie.”

“Yeah got that.” He snapped,

“What’s wrong?”

“None of your business what do you want?”

“You asked me when we arrived in your designated town.”

“No I asked Carl to call.” He snarled,

“Carl’s busy.” I snapped now getting irritated “so what’s got up your ass?” Bryce snarled loudly clearly a threat “very intimidating.” I said in a deadpan voice as soon as he was done. “I’ll call back when you’ve had a nap okay cause you seen to be more than a little cranky.” I said cutting him off as he snarled again. I pitched my phone onto the back seat so I could ignore Bryce if he called back which he didn’t. I put my feet up on the dashboard and just drummed my fingers on my thigh watching the people come and go until I saw Carl coming back through the car park towards me pushing a heavily laden trolley which made me honestly smile.

“You and Bryce finished already?” he said opening the back door and beginning to line up the carrier bags along the back seat.

“I think he must be on his period or something.” I said in a deadpan voice.

“I thought girls weren’t supposed to be flippant about that sort of thing?” Carl said pulling a packed of ginger nuts out of a carrier bag and flinging them at me, my clever boy.

“No girls are allowed to be flippant about it Guys aren’t.” Carl sighed as he slid into the driver seat,

“Ahh right. See that’s why I don’t get girls. Your too bloody confusing.”

“No were not boys are just too damn simple.”

“So since our boy is like premenstrual what do you propose we do?” I shrugged,

“motel, pizza bad movie wait for him to get over it,” Carl smiled "sounds perfect, but Carl I know I said I wanted a bad movie but I don’t want a slit your wrists one so you don’t get to pick it.” He smiled as he pulled out of the car park

" I guess I can deal with that."

“Where is that damn phone?” I muttered as me and Carl began writhing around on the bed admits the pile of empty snack wrappers.

“ooh.” He said as his meandering foot hit it. He leaned over and grabbed the phone handing it to me.

“Bryce.” I said pressing the accept button. “You in a better mood or should I just hang up now?” I asked flatly, I heard a heavy intake of breath.

“I am sorry about that.” He said in an enforcedly calm tone.

“Ouch that really hurt didn’t it.” I mocked,

“Look I’m having a rough sort of day okay can you give me a bit of a break here.” I sighed,

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing”

“Bryce?” I said sharply, “are they coming this way?” Bryce sighed, “Bryce.” He sighed again more heavily this time.

“I’m not sure.”

“Huh?”

“Well…we…um we may have… sort of.”

“What?”

“Well …see there’s this guy Toby who seems to be on the cusp of their group but anyway he um… we have Nathan but…um… well as for all the others we um… its not quite… well um.”

“Bryce.” I said plainly “did you loose them?”

“no.” he snapped which was followed by a long uncomfortable silence “…maybe.”

“Right so you don’t know.”

“We thought we had them they seem to have given us the slip.”

“Great.”

“we know their out there and we know what they all look like we will find them and believe me they will be held to account for everything they have done.”

“Yeah that’s what I’m worried about.” I said blandly,

“Our bargain still holds.” Bryce said firmly “we will keep searching until it’s confirmed that they have left our territory or dead so you just wait and keep your eyes open okay?”

“Okay.”

“And you’ll inform me if you see anything?”

“Was that part of our bargain I asked laying out on the bed as Carl got up and made his way to the bathroom.

“I’m making it a term.”

“I don’t think that’s quite the way these things are supposed to work.”

“tough.” He said simply “I’m keeping you apprised on my packs situation all I’m asking is that you do the same and let me know if things change drastically and if these rogues are in neutral territory I can still help you. Me not my enforcers just me alright my pack has a selfish interest in wanting them gone too you know.”

“Fine.” I snapped, as the soothing gentle sound of the shower slipped in from the bathroom next to me.

“good right now we are less than fifty miles apart and you are in the only nearby accessible city in neutral territory we left the way wide open but the only question is whether we left the door too open if they guess that we were trying to herd them can't see why they would but sometimes rogues are a lot smarter than you’d like them to be. Especially your one it seems because damn have they got efficient at covering their tracks. But anyway they don’t know were working together so hopefully they are just here lurking or they have been spooked and run to you. Obviously we think they are still here and that would be for the best because we are all enforcers and obviously we outnumber them whereas there are two of you your not prepared for a battle and lets face it you have one hot assed rogue and a little princess.” I snarled but Bryce just chuckled “just keep your eyes open princess.” He cautioned “for now stay where you are but keep your head down if they get spooked and run from us they will run straight to you, and as soon as they do your majesty I want to hear about it.”

“Okay.” I said softly running my hand over my forehead “you will.”

“right.” He said “I’ll trust you then highness.”

“With grateful thanks my liege.” I mocked but Bryce just chuckled

“I’ll stay in touch.” He said and the line suddenly clicked to dead. I growled and flung the phone down, not sure if I was more frustrated before the call or after. I flopped my head down into the pillow to muffle my screams.

“so it went that well huh?” Carl said reappearing in the room bringing with him the warm misted air of the bathroom and the light scent of the Satsuma scented shower gel I insisted we used (I had always used strawberry before but I knew how much Derek liked it and having it around made me think of him and tear up, and I couldn’t keep bursting into tears every time I spotted the soap). I sighed, Carl smiled and leaned over to press a kiss to my forehead, “what happened?” he asked moving over to sit in a chair across the room as I began to busy myself with picking up all of our discarded sweet wrappers and begun flinging them into the wastepaper basket in the corner.

“Well basically the long and short of it is that they have lost him.”

“Oh.”

“He wants us to keep our eyes open and just wait and I he will find them apparently. Were just to hover around here. Have you gone and looked at the leaflets for activities in the motel lobby. I believe there is a place nearby where you can make your own candles.” I said brightly Carl laughed,

“Well that’s made my life suddenly seem so much more worth living.” He said lightly, but I frowned as I saw him shaking his hands discretely.

“What’s wrong?”

”Huh?” he said vaguely,

“Your twitching.” I said nodding at his hands,

“I’ll be fine.”

“But your not now?” I asked quizzically, Carl smiled.

“It’s just been a while, “he said setting his hands down resolutely on top of his towel covered legs. I frowned at him. “I’m used to shifting regularly. you’ve been away living with Mortals so no doubt your more acclimatised but I…I’ve lived at the den since I started shifting I… well its been a regular thing, and you know since we’ve been around here it err it well its been a while.” I sighed and pushed myself up and strode across the room and flung his jeans at him.

“Come on then.” I said brightly.

“What?”

“Let’s go for a run.” He frowned, “come on boy come on.” I said my voice sunshine leaning over and patting my legs as I had seen people do when summoning their dogs when out walking. Carl smiled

“Your insane.”

“Come on Carl we have nothing else to do for a few days there is loads of open space out there lets go stretch our legs.”