Falling for Forever

The weather changes in seconds...

Zane and I fell asleep on the couch last night by the fireplace talking. I woke up curled in his arms, my head resting on his shoulder and his other arm holding me close by the waist like a kid holding his favorite teddy bear in bed. I watched Zane breathing beside me- his sharp features and face looked even more gorgeous than before.

What am I thinking?!

I chuckle remembering Zane is a morning person, he hardly ever sleeps in. I indeed am a bad influence! I touched his cheeks, brushing my thumb on his lower lip slightly parted. I nuzzle my nose in his playfully oh this fun, teasing the sleeping beauty!

Zane stir in his sleep but didn’t wake. I kissed the corner of his lips as his eyes squint open.

“good morning Mr. Knight!” I whispered, kissing him finally. You taste sweet!

“mmmmh.. good morning” he smiled, “a way to wake. I approve”

“let’s get ready before your mum comes in looking for you” I smiled. I could get used to this too!

“—that I wouldn’t want now” we laughed, “shower with me?”

“mmh…are you tempting me Mr.Knight?”

“I can be very persuasive. No one knows better than you babygirl” he winked. I know I know!

He scoot me up in his arms ignoring my squeals and kicked the bathroom door shut behind.

This Man…

“Morning Mom!” Zane kissed his mother on her cheeks as we entered the kitchen.

“—morning Ma’am” I greeted her too.

“good morning yourselves” she smiled back, her hands busy with the cake icing, “call me Andrea dear. Cut the formals” I grinned.

After a delicious chocolate, peanut, strawberry, vanilla filled breakfast and so much fun at the table with kids, Zane took me the upper floors of the mansion to show around.

“excuse me” he went away to answer a call, as I walked around the floor gazing at the landscapes hung on the wall. These are worth the exhibitions!

“Helo” a baby voice came from my behind, “are you the angel Zane was talking ‘bout?” asked the little boy, looking half afraid, half nervous and extremely hopeful. He was the same boy I saw yesterday. I kneeled in front of him, “I’m Melissa, nice to meet you too”

“I’m Dan” he beamed & offered me a cupcake. So kind of him!

I ruffled his hair taking a small bite, “mmmh, this is tasty, thank you” I said.

“are you Zane’s girlfriend?”

“umm, sort of. I mean, yeah” I was confused what to answer an eight y/o. He sigh, shaking his head in… pity?

“I hope you keep up with him then. He can be difficult, stupid sometimes, though you look clever. I’m sure you’ll manage” what the hell? Is he calling me dumb?

“thank you?”

“I knew. You are confused, aren’t you? He thinks I don’t understand his silly secret messages in the name of bed time stories. I do. I’m glad he found you. I was worried how will he ever find a girlfriend when he’s crap at making card pyramids. He’s fussy too, doesn’t let me drink coffee. I’m sure he won’t let you either” the kid was ranting fidgeting the toy in his hands but he looked so so so adorable, “—don’t get me wrong. I like him. He’s cool and a great friend of mine. Only, the older he gets, the silly he starts behaving”.

I grin. This boy is fond of Zane. I answered his pity, “I know, he is a bit silly but it’s too late to back out now isn’t it?”

“you’re wrong” he watched me as if I transformed into some shitty cartoon-character he thinks is bad, or stupid, “it’s never late to rectify mistakes. You can always fix wrongs you didn’t mean to do earlier. But you know, people in love actually bear with imperfections, even if it means keeping up with his silly stories. ‘love’—That’s the magical word. Besides, you don’t have to be something to anyone to be there friends. Being kind is just enough. Zane is a good guy though. Silly but good. Give him a chance”

Satisfied with himself, he walked away tugging his toy closer in the other arm.

I blinked. What the hell was that?

Did an eight year old give me the best relationship advice I’ve heard lately?

I turned around to check if he was really an eight year old or was it an adult impersonating. Zane stood behind me with an inscrutable expression on his face.

“what’s up? You look confused?” he read my face.

“I think I found someone I like more than you”

He chuckled, “I leave you for few minutes and someone steals away my girl! Who?”

“someone just did. Oh! I didn’t know you were crap at making card pyramids and you should know your messages are heard without making up some silly bed time stories. You’re silly”

His eyes widen, “did you meet out little baby adult?”

I laughed at the choice of his words. They were absolutely fitting. “Dan?” I nodded. Right! Zane sighed, “no wonder he stole my girl” he kissed my head holding me possessively.

“are you saying you’re jealous of an eight year old?”

“you met him. You can’t blame me” he chuckled making me laugh, “we have to get back today it seems. Work calls” he said reluctantly.

Oh! “everything okay?”

“Yes. I just have some meetings scheduled tomorrow, early morning” I nodded half-heartedly. This place was indeed heaven. I didn’t want to go back to reality just yet. Couple of hours later, we stood by the threshold bidding good bye.

“thanks for having me Andrea” I whispered as she pulled me into a warm motherly hug.

“oh thank you for bearing with my annoying son dear. You are always welcomed if he gives you a hard time. I promise I’ll kick his ass for you” she said. How absolutely adorable!

My eyes fell on a kid who watched us hiding behind a wall. I walked to him- Dan.

“Hi”

“you’re going” he looked crestfallen.

“I’ll come back I promise. Besides, I’ve decided to give Zane a chance to grow up” I kissed his cheeks and rubbed his golden brown hair. He grinned.

***

“how was your weekend?” Zane asked, back on road driving home.

“Never been better” I beamed, and took his freehand, “Thank you so much Zane. You’re less of a jerk I thought of you” I teased.

“I don’t know what you mean babygirl” he winked, kissing my knuckles, “my mom loves you”

“she’s adorable. I was reminded of my mom with her” I said, “do you mind me asking you something?”

“you are one inquisitive woman. Ask away” he sighed.

I know I grill him too much sometimes!

“what drives you for what you do Knight? You’re successful, rich. What made you come up with something like that?” Zane looked taken aback by my question. He pushed the brake and pulled me on his lap, “this is better” and drove again.

“strange question. No one ever asked me that before”

“well, no one is me.”

“fair point made. Well, a very close friend of mine was stuck in an abusive relationship years ago. Unable to call for help or bear anymore, she eventually committed suicide” I gasp in shock “leaving behind her 3y/o boy behind to be taken care of. That reminds me how many more people needs rescuing and children are bearing the baggage of mistakes of their negligent irresponsible parents. I just want to help as much as I can”

“—because you think you couldn’t help her” I whispered. He nodded clenching his jaws.

Oh Knight…NO!

“I don’t wanna talk about it”

I wisely decided against pursuing the subject. It was too personal to him. We reached home but Zane refused to stay saying he had work.

“thank you for the amazing time Zane” I said kissing him and watched him drive away from the porch.

***

The next couple of days were busy for both Zane and I. Apparently, there was some ‘situation’ at work Zane had to deal with.

Whatever, I still get surprised by the fact that I think of him so much, I still hate that I do and I can’t help but feel the butterflies erupt in my stomach thinking of him. It is either me going insane, or definitely me going crazy. This has to stop but I DON’T KNOW HOW!

***

The day passed in a blink it seemed. I had read three files, signed a contract for designing with a client, fired a worker on account of s****l harassment. In the evening I was in the office, waiting for David to come back with the report.

“tell me you have some good news” I sighed as he entered.

“Oh, very good, Yes. You were right, the location is perfect, the deal is reasonably easy but that would be hell of an investment. The building needs more than just stripping down Melissa” he began explaining me the details he and the engineers had gathered. I was good to go.

“you have been busy lately, and… happy” David commented.

“that obvious?” I grinned. I wonder why!

“Mark is curious about Knight’s business. He heard he’s been making impromptu visits to you”

“that’s none of his business”

“similar curiosity is shared by the PR guy Greg”

“goes for him too” he doesn’t have to make a news of it!

After my meeting with him, I discussed Mark and his tenacious behavior with Alicia. She warned me about his stupid mouth talking about how closely he had known me in past and that I owed him, big time. My phone buzzed in the middle of our discussion. The secretary from my apartment building was calling. Weird! He never calls me.

“Good evening Mr.Ben”

“Evening Melissa, I’m afraid you need to come home. There’s a man at your door, making ruckus and he seems drunk” What!

“Did he say a name or identity?”

“he’s banging an kicking at your door calling ‘Mels’. I figured must be someone you know”

I frown, “I’m on my way. I’m sorry”

As I reached my apartment, I found a man batshit drunk by my door. Neighbours were trying to help but he kept kicking in the air and shouting all the curses he knew. I couldn’t make out most of them. Neil.

—s**t! “Mr. Ben, I’m sorry this is…uh.. my brother. Thank you for calling me and I’m so sorry for all of this. I didn’t know” I began explaining but being the humble old man he was, he helped me get Neil in the apartment into bed. God! This i***t never learns!

“Mr. Ben I’m so sorry” I began again as he turned to leave. I really appreciate this old man for he is always kind, helpful, understanding, and doesn’t hover.

This was becoming his usual. Everytime I see him, it feels like I failed my mom. She knew Neil would need me after her; he was super sensitive and intimidated by father more than I was. She was right. He drowned himself in alcohol and joints after mom passed away succumbed to the untimely illness. It became his way of coping. Returning from London I realized the walls he build around himself are so thick and impossible to penetrate. I made a mistake leaving him behind with father alone.

An hour later, Neil woke up clenching his head, shouting. Hangover, of course you i***t!

I made him a strong coffee and handed Advil, “get a shower if you will please. You stink” leaving the room immediately. Alicia called me frantic explaining how Mr. Knight dropped by to see me and Mark had filled him all sorts of incomplete information saying I left to see someone important and close to my heart early this evening. He said something like Zane doesn’t know me as well as he thinks of.

I and him are gonna have a word about this!

I was in the kitchen fixing food for Neil. He looked like he needs feeding. The door burst open when I was almost done setting the table. I knew who it might be- Zane of course! He had to see me himself after Mark’s provocation.

“Hello Mr. Knight, barging in my home again” I greeted him as my usual but Neil stepped out of the room right then, half naked with a towel wrapped around his waist. Zane’s eyes flicker from me to him and back to me. He looked…distraught?

Before I could say something, Neil being the ass he was asked him who he was in the most arrogant tone possible.

“shut up Neil. He’s my….”

“so I see you have company” Zane spat cutting in, “is he close to you?”

“yes he is. But it’s not….”

Before I could say more, Zane turned and left, slamming the door behind him. The look of hurt on his face, I am sure was going to haunt me.

Damn! You can’t take Mark’s word for it!

I had half a mind to run after him explaining, but rational part of my brain stopped me. I couldn’t leave Neil alone in my house to make another scene, or worse set my house on fire and Zane should know better than take someone’s words for me. He didn’t even give me time to explain. I don’t understand why should I be explaining anything to him at all. He isn’t my fiancé in real.

Perhaps I should let him cool off. He’ll talk after finding his brains.

***

There were no calls, news or texts from Zane all day. I tried calling him, more than thirty times now but he didn’t answer. His PA had informed that he refused to take the calls saying he’s busy at the moment. Busy my ass! You’re stupid. That’s what! My insides scrunched me in guilt.

I should have run after him and explained yesterday!

But the stubborn part of my brain still refused saying it was stupid of him to take some random human’s words over mine. He is behaving like a fifteen year old jealous b***h!

Alicia called irritated, saying Mark is outside, wanting to see for some personal business again.

“send him in. I’ll deal”

“Mel, finally! I was trying so hard to…”

I cut in before he could finish, “Melissa. That’s my name, if you have a hard time remembering, I prefer you call me madam then” how dare you lie to Zane you prick!

“I thought I was your friend too, the only one from your college in contact. Been there always in times of your need ‘MADAM’”

“Anything important you had to say? I’m busy unlike you are”

“why is it that you keep pushing me away?”

“This is the working hour. You are paid to work here. There is nothing to push away in the first place because I didn’t want you around ever. You have to be smart enough to take the message, leave me in peace and show yourself out” Pinching the bridge of my nose I added, “and yeah, good that you’re here. Stop making claims that you know me well Mark. You are nothing more than a colleague to me. One more time I have to remind you this, you’ll be in problem Mark. I mean it” Don’t push my buttons.

“does he f**k you so much better that you forgot what we were?”

“excuse me!” I got up from my desk. How dare he! I was really finding it hard to keep my temper in check now.

“I know what you are doing, hanging with that Knight guy. Is this your key to success? Warming up his bed…”

“—SMACK!”

I slapped him hard, straight in face before he could finish the sentence “GET OUT” I bellowed. My voice echoed in my cabin. I don’t remember being this loud ever in two years of my authority. Mark held his ‘now red from smack’ face looking at me and wisely, left without another word. The day just gets better!

I drove straight to Zane’s office that evening, hoping to get him to talk but his PA informed that he left early this evening and that he had a terrible day too. Sighing in defeat, I left for home. I changed, putting on my night gown and robes. I did what I do after a bad day; call Jayden, my best friend. He’s in London. We’ve known each other since we were babies. His mother and mine were friends.

“Hi Jay!”

“Not so good day I take it?” he knows me so well!

“not my favorite. How are you?” He told me about his business booming. They are exporting their product overseas now and will be coming to US, to seem and on business.

“—I can’t wait. I miss you, come soon please” I said but watched Zane stumble inside, “I’ll call you later. Bye!”

“Knight! You know you can ring the bell for me to open the door like normal people for once” How bad I’ve been trying to see you today!

“doesn’t look like you really missed ME babygirl” his voice was dripping hatred.

“What’s wrong?” I observed him closely. He’s Drunk!

“Oh, nothing, I just wanted to check on my soon-to-be wife” he taunted, “tell me wifey, did you miss me? oh you didn’t…there was this another guy…” This is not what I expected. “Come, I’ll take you to bed, you’re not in your senses”

He grabbed my wrists hard pulling me closer, “or is it someone else you are missing so much. Who were you talking to? Another little boyfriend of yours, you have it, isn’t it?” his hold, voice and body was all aggressive.

“It’s none of your f*****g business” I was struggling hard to wriggle out of his hold.

“It sure is” he spat, leaning forward to force kiss me.

Gathering the strength in every muscle in my body, I pushed him away hard. This is not the person I knew. My worst fears, the ghosts I laid to rest long ago came to life inside me.

“Get the f**k out of here” I shouted, angrily “Talk to me when you’re not drunk” I dragged him out of the main door and shut it, sagging on the floor with holding my head in my hands.

No no no…this didn’t just happen….

The unwelcomed darkened swelled inside of me, I could feel the familiar fear, confusion and hurt in my veins. The feeling was too dark, familiar and I hated every bit of it. I never wanted to experience it again. I promised I wouldn’t. I was beyond pissed, seething in rage, battered.

How dare he!

I went to the bathroom & washed my face. A familiar weak face reflected back in the mirror. The familiar look of hurt and fear. I look so pale. Zane held my wrist so tight, I could see red marks. This is gonna bruise. f**k! Deciding to forget, I went to bed, loosing myself to my dreams hoping it would all be a nightmare tomorrow when I wake up.

The day just got better, better and f*****g better!