Twisted Master

I Accepted Him But It Was Too Late

*2 weeks passed*

Now, all I'm doing is just remembering everything about him,I was inside my bed preparing myself to sleep in the darkness that surrounds me.

'' I wonder why he did all of that to me? Am I good enough to trust him again? Am I really in-love with him or it's just ridiculousness! I don't remember myself to be this weak! Am I brave enough to go to him tomorrow and tell him let's figure things out! but what if he see that i'm easy just like any girl who might accept a guy like him!

but I've been rejecting him for a whole 5 months or more, I can't really remember!

OK,Aya...face it! you do love him! put the past underneath you and go on! he seems to be a good man,especially with me and I can see that he loves me in a way I have always craved! I know that my personality is very strong...but I am still a girl! who needs love and kindness!""

" stop this s**t immediately,i need to chase what my heart tells me too,not only responding to my strong and mean brain" I whispered to myself...then drove myself to sleep.

Minutes later...

I heard some noise coming from the door!

it was him!

my heart popped beating so fast...I can feel him in the air...he got his own smell...I can even recognize where he stands in this darkness.

I began to sweat, my breaths were hitching like i'm running in a marathon...I don't want him to sense this or even feel it.

"Are you awake?" he asked...his voice was really weak.

I didn't respond.

until he turned the lights on...I got afraid more and more and my body tensed!

suddenly I felt his hand near to my chest!

he caught me..I'm done!

" you are awake little Ms...open your eyes" he breathed.

I opened my eyes!

he smiled..he looks sad and tired!

this face can control me so well...he is not conscious!

He is totally drunk...

"are you still angry?" He asked

I got shocked of his question...I am not angry!

he was still standing...

my heart wants to embrace him...I can't keep pretending strength anymore!

I looked at him,he was putting his eyes on the floor...

"can't you forgive me!" He said weakly.

my eyes widened..he controlled me.

I gave him my hand for the first time of me being with him,I couldn't say any word I was just tearing...

he noticed my hand so he put his hand with my hand and sat next to me.

"I love you Aya..."

"I love you too" I said it while crying,and feeling my heart becoming so light...I hugged him very tight so he did.

I allowed my self to kiss him and feel the warmth of his body on mine.

" I love you so much,I can't stay away of you,forgive me for every thing I did to you,it wasn't me...it wasn't me" He cried.

" Hush Hush...No, stop it...it's gone...I love you too ..." I hugged him tighter.

seeing him this broken have devastated my heart and crash it,even though I am sure he won't remember this night! He is 100% drunk...and that was against my good luck.

"I know that you hate me...I heard you many times...you have to love me the way I do...you have to " he said aggressively.

I stared at him,allowing him to do whatever he needs to do until I saw the kerchief he took from his bucket ,I knew back then that he wants to put me under drugs control...He wanted to release the beast inside him on my body even though I didn't care...I got sick of defending him,I was in a state to accept every thing from even if he wanted to kill me I would allow him to.

The next day**

I opened my eyes,I remembered him,I thought I would find him sleeping next to me,I was wrong...I only found a piece of paper,I picked it and read it and my tears started to stream slowly.

*******

Dear Aya,

My name is Ahmad,it's the time for you to know who the one you spent the worse months with.

I know that I made you suffer in a way I have never wanted to happen,I needed you in a way you could never imagine too,eventually I knew that you will never love me back or even forget what has done to you...I know you will never forgive me...I don't know why I did it with you,I'm writing to you this letter knowing that you will be happy after reading it...you will no longer see me again,you can say I set you free even though you will stay here with Helen until I decide when to send you back to where you belong.

I brought you to my world for the thought that you will bloom and rise with me,I never thought that my uncontrolled beast will cast you away from me and do the opposite of my thoughts.

I will go,just be happy.

I won't make you suffer again.

Aya,you are still virgin,I never went that far with you,I wanted it from you, cheer up.

I decided to leave with my sorrows and sadness,I can't hurt you or even make you suffer from me anymore.

I hope one day you can forgive me.

Ahmad

*******

" Stupid" I cried..." Stupid...ugh" I hurried out of bed,I covered my body and went down stairs calling Hellen loudly...

"Hellen...Hellen...Where is he ...Hellen!" I cried and walked to the kitchen to find Hellen sitting and crying too.

"why you're crying...where is Ahmad?" I breathed.

She looked at me in compassion "He went away and forever..." she breathed weakly.

" No...He can't leave me here alone ...He can't do that with me...not now,not after I loved him...when did he go?" I Cried.

"He woke me up at 5 or 6 I can't even remember,He shocked me,He was semi drunk and not him self"

I stared at Hellen...then went up stairs in Hurry.

"Why...Why" I sighed while crying.

I put myself on the bed to notice a red spots on the bed cover I cried more.

"you are stupid...I told you I love you...I told you " I cried again.

"" Oh lord make him come again...Oh dear God make him change his mind and come again"" I kept praying in my silence until I slept deeply.

.................

Time has passed,I never stopped crying every single night,Hellen never stopped trying to stand me up...I lost weight,I lost my mind,my ability to talk or hear...I was a prisoner to my imagination that one day he will come back again and save me from this hell.

One morning I was sitting with Hellen in the living room.