The Boy That stayed

Chapter Nine- A WAY OUT

A few months later, school had finally come to an end, and senior prom was getting closer.

You could practically smell the excitement in the air.

Everywhere I went, people were talking about it.

Girls were comparing dresses and hairstyles. Boys were asking girls to be their dates. Some people had already started making plans for where they would take pictures before the event. Others were talking about the decorations, the music, the food, and all the things they were going to do that night.

It seemed like everyone had something to look forward to.

Everyone except me.

I didn't want to go.

I didn't even want to hear the word prom.

But somehow, I couldn't escape it.

At school, it was everywhere.

During lunch.

In the corridors.

Before classes started.

Even when I sat quietly in my seat, trying to mind my own business, I could hear people discussing who had asked whom.

I kept my head down.

I listened without joining in.

There was nobody for me to join anyway.

I had spent the last few months moving through school like a shadow. I attended classes, did my work, wrote my exams, and went home.

That was it.

No friends.

No conversations.

No invitations.

Nothing.

After what happened with Tessa, I had stopped letting people get close to me.

I didn't trust anyone anymore.

And nobody seemed interested in getting close to the girl everyone already knew too much about.

So I stayed alone.

Sometimes, I would sit in class and stare out the window while everyone else talked around me.

I would hear laughter and wonder what they were laughing about.

I would hear my name and immediately tense up.

Even though the worst of the gossip had passed, I still carried it with me.

The school had moved on.

I hadn't.

There were days when I wished I could erase the entire year.

Erase the classroom.

Erase the whispers.

Erase Tessa.

Erase the moment I realized that the person I trusted most had been capable of hurting me like that.

But memories didn't disappear just because you wanted them to.

They stayed.

They followed you home.

They waited for you when you closed your eyes.

And sometimes, they were the loudest thing in a silent room.

So when people talked about prom, all I could think about was being surrounded by people who knew my story.

I couldn't do it.

I had already decided.

I wasn't going.

Two weeks before prom, I came home from school and found Mum waiting for me.

She looked unusually happy.

She was standing in the living room with her handbag in one hand and her phone in the other.

The moment she saw me, she smiled.

"Maya, come here."

I stopped.

"What?"

She walked toward me.

"Guess what?"

I shook my head.

"I finally got the money."

I frowned.

"What money?"

She smiled wider.

"The prom money."

My stomach dropped.

She was excited.

Really excited.

"I've been saving and putting things together for so long. Now we can finally go dress shopping."

I stared at her.

"Mum..."

She was already imagining it.

"I thought we could go this weekend. You can pick whatever you want. We can look at different shops, and if you don't like the first one, we'll find another one."

"I don't want to go."

Her smile disappeared.

"What?"

"I said I don't want to go."

She stared at me.

"Maya, we've talked about this."

"I know."

"Then why are you still saying you don't want to go?"

"Because I don't."

Her voice became firmer.

"You can't keep shutting yourself away from everything."

"I can."

"No, you can't."

"Watch me."

She sighed.

"You've changed so much."

Those words hit me harder than she probably intended.

I looked at her.

"Changed?"

"Yes."

"Of course I've changed."

"Maya—"

"You don't understand."

"I am trying to understand."

"No, you're not."

Her expression changed.

"I'm your mother. I'm trying to help you."

"I don't need help."

"You clearly do."

I felt my chest tighten.

"You don't know what I've been through."

"Then tell me."

"I can't!"

"Why?"

"Because you won't understand!"

She went quiet.

I could feel the tears building behind my eyes.

"You won't ever understand," I said.

"Maya..."

"You don't know what it's like."

"What?"

I shook my head.

"You don't know."

She stepped closer.

"Then help me know."

I looked at her.

For one second, I almost told her.

Almost.

But then I remembered everything.

Tessa.

The classroom.

Everyone staring.

My secret being passed around like it belonged to them.

I swallowed the words.

"No."

Mum sighed.

"I just want you to have a normal senior year."

"I don't want a normal senior year!"

My voice cracked.

"I just want to be left alone!"

She stared at me.

I grabbed my bag and ran upstairs.

"Maya!"

I didn't answer.

I slammed my bedroom door and locked it.

Then I leaned against it and slid down until I was sitting on the floor.

My breathing was heavy.

My hands were shaking.

I pressed them against my face.

I hated myself for yelling at her.

But I hated even more that she didn't understand.

How could she?

She hadn't been there.

She hadn't heard the whispers.

She hadn't watched her only friend betray her.

She hadn't felt what it was like to become completely alone overnight.

I stayed on the floor until my legs went numb.

Mum knocked once.

"Maya."

I didn't answer.

"I'm not angry with you."

I still didn't answer.

She waited.

Then she walked away.

After that, things became awkward between us.

We didn't fight every day.

We just didn't talk much.

I would wake up.

Go to school.

Come home.

Go straight to my room.

Eat when I had to.

Sleep when I could.

Repeat.

Mum tried a few times to talk to me.

Sometimes she would knock.

Sometimes she would leave food outside my door.

Sometimes she would simply sit in the living room and wait for me to come downstairs.

But I stayed away.

I knew I had hurt her.

And I felt guilty.

I just didn't know how to fix it.

The days passed.

Prom got closer.

And I became more uncomfortable every time someone mentioned it.

One week before prom, I finally broke.

I walked downstairs one evening and found Mum sitting quietly at the dining table.

She looked tired.

Older somehow.

I stood there for a moment.

"Mum?"

She looked up.

"Yes?"

I swallowed.

"I'm sorry."

Her expression softened immediately.

"For what?"

"For the way I spoke to you."

She was quiet.

"I shouldn't have shouted at you."

She stood and walked toward me.

"I know you've been going through something."

My eyes filled with tears.

"I have."

"I just wish you would tell me."

"I know."

She pulled me into a hug.

I held onto her.

"I'm sorry, baby," she whispered. "I shouldn't have forced you to do something you didn't want to do."

I cried against her shoulder.

She rubbed my back.

"If you don't want to go to prom, you don't have to."

I pulled away and looked at her.

"You're not angry?"

"No."

She wiped my cheek.

"I wanted you to have a beautiful night. That's all."

"I know."

"And I've saved the money because I thought it would make you happy."

"I know."

She smiled sadly.

"But if staying home is what makes you comfortable, then stay home."

I nodded.

She squeezed my hand.

"And the money doesn't have to be wasted."

"What do you mean?"

She smiled.

"We can put it toward your college."

I stared at her.

"My college?"

"Yes."

For the first time in a long time, something inside me shifted.

College.

A new place.

A different life.

Far away from this school.

Far away from the whispers.

Far away from Tessa.

Maybe that was what I needed.

A fresh start.

Mum smiled.

"Or we can use some of it to take ourselves somewhere and have fun another day."

I laughed softly through my tears.

"Really?"

"Really."

I hugged her again.

For the first time in months, I felt like maybe I hadn't completely lost everything.

Prom night came.

I didn't go.

I stayed home.

I didn't put on the dress.

I didn't take pictures.

I didn't walk into the hall.

Nobody saw me.

Nobody heard from me.

While my classmates were dancing, laughing, taking pictures, and celebrating the end of senior year, I stayed in my room.

The house was quiet.

I looked at the dress hanging in my wardrobe one last time.

Then I turned away.

I didn't regret staying home.

Not anymore.

Maybe one day I would understand why I had become so afraid of people.

Maybe one day I would learn how to trust again.

But that night, I just wanted peace.

And for once, I had it.

Two weeks later, everything changed.

I was sitting at the dining table when Mum walked into the room holding an envelope.

She looked at me strangely.

"Maya."

I looked up.

"What?"

She handed it to me.

My name was written across the front.

My heart began beating faster.

I opened it with shaking hands.

I read the first few lines.

Then I stopped.

I read them again.

I had been accepted.

University.

I stared at the letter.

Mum smiled.

"You got in."

I looked up at her.

"I got in."

"You got in."

Tears filled my eyes.

For the first time in a long time, they weren't tears of pain.

They were something else.

Hope, maybe.

I didn't know yet.

All I knew was that this was my chance.

A new school.

A new city.

A new life.

And, most importantly, distance.

A lot of distance.

I was going far away from home.

Far enough that nobody there would know who I was.

Far enough that nobody would know Tessa.

Far enough that nobody would know about the girl I had been before.

I held the letter tightly against my chest.

Maybe I couldn't change what had happened.

Maybe I couldn't erase the past.

But I could leave it behind.

At least, that was what I believed.

I had no idea that sometimes you could travel thousands of miles and still carry the same pain inside you.

But I was ready to try.

For the first time in a very long time, I wanted to see who I could become.