The Boy That stayed

Chapter five- SECRETS

By then, Tessa wasn't just my friend.

She was my best friend.

I didn't remember exactly when it happened.

Maybe it was the first time she waited for me after class.

Maybe it was the first time we laughed so hard that a teacher told us to be quiet.

Or maybe it was the first time I told her something I had promised myself I would never tell anyone.

Whatever the moment was, I didn't notice it happening.

One day, she was simply there.

And then, somehow, she was everywhere.

We ate lunch together.

Walked to class together.

Waited for each other after school.

If I was absent, she'd ask where I'd been.

If she wasn't around, I'd find myself wondering where she was.

It was strange.

I'd spent years trying to convince myself that I didn't need friends.

Now I couldn't imagine going through a school day without one.

We started going out after school.

Nothing expensive.

Mum still struggled financially, and I knew better than to ask her for money unnecessarily. Whenever she gave me a little pocket change, I'd save some of it.

But sometimes Tessa would convince me to spend it.

"Just one game," she'd say whenever we went to the arcade.

"I don't have enough."

"I'll pay."

"No."

"Maya."

"Tessa."

She'd stare at me.

I'd stare back.

Then she'd sigh dramatically.

"You're impossible."

I'd laugh.

Sometimes we'd share fries.

Sometimes one drink.

Sometimes we'd walk around the mall for hours without buying anything.

We'd try on clothes we couldn't afford and take pictures in the mirrors.

We'd make fun of each other's terrible choices.

We'd sit somewhere outside and talk until we realized it was getting late.

Those moments meant more to me than I knew how to explain.

I didn't need expensive things.

I just liked having someone beside me.

Someone who made me forget that I was supposed to be afraid of people.

And slowly, I started telling her things.

At first, they were harmless.

Things I liked.

Things I hated.

Embarrassing things I'd done at school.

Things that made me angry.

Then the conversations became deeper.

I'd tell her about nights when I couldn't sleep.

I'd tell her about things people had said to me years ago that I still remembered word for word.

I'd tell her about the things I was insecure about.

Things I didn't like about myself.

Things I wished I could change.

Things I had never been brave enough to say in front of anyone else.

Sometimes I even told her about little habits I had.

Like how I sometimes rehearsed conversations in my head before having them.

If I had to ask a teacher for something, I'd practice what I wanted to say.

If I needed to confront someone, I'd imagine the conversation first.

Sometimes, when I was alone, I'd even talk quietly to myself.

Not because anything was wrong.

It was just something I did when I was thinking.

Tessa laughed when I told her.

"Seriously?"

I covered my face.

"Don't laugh."

"I'm not laughing at you."

"You are."

"I'm sorry."

She was still smiling.

I smiled too.

It was embarrassing, but somehow I didn't mind telling her.

Because she was Tessa.

She already knew so much about me.

What was one more thing?

I also told her about home.

Not just about Dad anymore.

She already knew he had died.

She knew Mum was raising me alone.

But now she knew what life actually looked like.

She knew Mum sometimes had to stretch money until it almost disappeared.

She knew there were days when I wanted something but wouldn't ask because I knew we couldn't afford it.

She knew that sometimes I would pretend I wasn't hungry because I didn't want Mum to worry.

She knew how carefully we planned things.

She knew that when other girls talked about shopping trips and expensive things, I sometimes stayed quiet because I didn't want them asking why I couldn't join them.

None of it was shameful.

But it was private.

Very private.

Only Mum had known most of those things before Tessa.

And now Tessa knew too.

One evening, I told her something I'd never told anyone at school.

"I hate when people think we're poor."

She looked at me.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want people looking at Mum differently."

Tessa didn't laugh.

"I understand."

I nodded.

"I know Mum works hard. I just don't want people thinking she's not doing enough."

Tessa reached for my hand.

"You're not poor because your mum doesn't love you."

"I know."

"Then don't worry about what people think."

I smiled.

At that moment, I believed every word she said.

There were other things too.

Things that only Mum and now Tessa knew.

Sometimes I cried when I was angry instead of yelling.

Sometimes I became quiet when I was overwhelmed.

Sometimes I needed to be alone for hours.

Sometimes I hated being looked at.

Sometimes I wondered if people were judging me even when they weren't.

I told Tessa all of it.

Not because she forced me.

Because I wanted to.

For the first time, I felt like someone knew the whole version of me.

Not just the quiet girl.

Not just the tall girl.

Not just the girl people used to laugh at.

Me.

The real me.

And she didn't leave.

That made me trust her even more.

Then the rumors started.

The first one wasn't even serious.

At least, that's what I told myself.

Tessa mentioned it one afternoon while we were walking home.

"You know people are saying you rehearse everything before you say it?"

I stopped.

"What?"

She laughed.

"Apparently you practice conversations."

My face became hot.

"Who said that?"

"I don't know."

I looked at her.

She shrugged.

"Maybe someone heard us talking."

I thought about it.

I had told her.

Only her.

But maybe she'd told someone without realizing it.

Or maybe someone had overheard us.

It wasn't impossible.

Still, it made me uncomfortable.

The next day, I noticed people whispering when I walked past.

One girl looked at me and laughed.

Another said something to her.

I couldn't hear what they were saying.

I tried to ignore it.

Then someone called me weird.

I pretended not to hear.

By lunchtime, I'd heard it three times.

Weirdo.

Freak.

I sat quietly.

Tessa sat beside me.

"Don't listen to them."

I looked at her.

"They're saying things about me."

"I know."

"How do they even know?"

She shook her head.

"People talk."

I stared at my food.

"What if they're right?"

"About what?"

"That I'm weird."

Tessa laughed softly.

"Maya, everyone is weird."

She bumped her shoulder against mine.

"You're just you."

I smiled.

And somehow, I felt better.

Then came another rumor.

This one hurt more.

Someone had apparently said my family was so broke that we barely ate.

I heard it in the hallway.

"That's Maya, right?"

"Yeah."

"I heard they sometimes don't even have food."

My stomach dropped.

That wasn't true.

Not even close.

Mum struggled, yes.

But she always made sure there was food at home.

Always.

I walked away before they could see my face.

When I found Tessa, I tried to act normal.

She noticed immediately.

"What happened?"

I told her.

Her face changed.

"Who said that?"

"I don't know."

"That's horrible."

She looked genuinely angry.

"I'm sorry, Maya."

I nodded.

She hugged me.

"I'm here for you, okay?"

I closed my eyes.

"Okay."

And for a moment, I felt safe again.

But somewhere in the back of my mind, a thought appeared.

A tiny thought.

Almost too quiet to hear.

I told Tessa that money was tight.

I pushed it away.

No.

It couldn't be her.

Tessa wouldn't do that.

She was my best friend.

After that, I started noticing little things.

Not enough to accuse her.

Just enough to make me pause.

Sometimes she'd laugh when someone said something about me.

Sometimes she'd know something before I told her.

Sometimes she'd ask, "Did anyone say anything to you today?"

I'd wonder how she knew something had happened.

Then she'd change the subject.

And I'd let her.

Because I didn't want to become suspicious of the person I trusted most.

One afternoon, we were sitting together outside school when she started laughing at something on her phone.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You keep saying that."

She smiled.

"Because it's nothing."

I laughed.

She put her phone away.

Then she reached for my hand.

"You're not going to let those people ruin everything, right?"

I shook my head.

"No."

"Good."

She smiled.

And I smiled back.

Because whatever strange feelings had started appearing inside me, I buried them.

I had spent too much of my life alone.

I wasn't going to ruin the first real friendship I'd ever had because of a few rumors.

So I chose to believe her.

I chose Tessa.