That Sort of Girl

Susan

"Oh, my God!" said Irene and shook her head in disbelief. "I'm sorry, Ana, I didn't know that."

"I decided not to tell you that time," I said to them as I drank the remaining iced tea in my glass.

I saw a waiter walked by and I raised my hand to get his attention. He approached me and asked what drink I would want.

"Another glass of iced tea, please," I said.

"Iced tea?" asked Camille while holding her almost empty glass. Her tone has this kind of suspicion.

"I'm not in the mood to take in alcohol tonight," I said.

Chloe shook her head. "I've never imagined that it would end that way. I thought he was the right man for you. You two looked great back then."

"Well, at least, it was over," said Maria. She raised her refilled wine glass. "Here's to Matteo, wherever he is, he sucks."

We raised our glasses in agreement and sipped our respective drinks.

"So how did your daughter take it?" asked Eva.

THE DAYS THAT FOLLOWED were depressing. Matteo tried to call me up but I ignored him. I don't want to hear his explanation. He kept on sending me an apology either via email or card with flowers. But after ignoring his attempts, he finally gave up and stopped. I don't know if he did apologize to Susan.

I felt sorry for my daughter. She was more silent than I was. She stayed inside her room most of the time. She didn't report to her OJT work for a day or two. When she returned, she would leave early and arrived late just to avoid me. Whenever we had meals together, she would eat less and would leave the table immediately. I just let her be. She needed space and time to process all these.

Elaine, who was clueless at first of what happened, tried to cheer us up.

"That jerk needs a lot of beating," Elaine said as we were drinking hot cocoa late one night at the dining table. "How could he do that, Mom? He didn't know that both of you are related?"

"I myself couldn't believe it, Elaine," I said holding her hand. "I thought all along that I already met my match."

"I don't know what to say, Mom," she said. "I feel sorry, too, for Susan."

"Me too, sweetheart," I said.

I gave Elaine a hug and kissed her forehead. "I should have been contented to have my daughters. Maybe I shouldn't fall in love again."

"Don't say that," she said. "We love you and we want you to be happy."

"I think it's time I'd better talk to her," I told Elaine.

So I went up to Susan's room and knocked at the door. "Susan?"

I tried to open the knob but it was locked. Then I heard a soft click and the door opened. Susan was standing there, her eyes were puffy.

"May I come in?" I asked.

She nodded and let me in. She returned to her bed and lay down.

I went inside and closed the door behind me. I went to her bed and sat at the side, her back facing me. I put my hand on her shoulder.

"Susan, can we talk now?"

She turned and looked at me. Her eyes were full of tears again. She got up and wiped her tears with a towel she was holding.

I went closer and gave her a tight hug. I kissed her head just like I used to when they were kids. Her soft sobs became cries. Tears began to flow from my eyes, too.

I couldn't imagine that Matteo might have had s*x with Susan. Susan might have seen a father figure in him. We were motionless for many minutes, crying until we couldn't shed tears anymore.

"I'm sorry, Mom," she said after she got herself together. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just didn't have the strength to tell you that he's old enough to be my dad. I know you'll not like it. But I loved him. I did. I didn't even have the idea that he's your boyfriend. He was kind to me when I first met him. He took me out to dinner once and we started dating from then on. We had s*x on our third date and I felt secure with him. He promised me that he will wait until I reach 25 so we could get married."

How could that be when he’s about to propose marriage to me? Or was I just assuming?

"But after learning about your relationship with him," Susan continued. "...and how you tell us about him, I don't know... I'm too gullible... I trust men too easily..."

"If you could have trusted me, Susan," I said, stroking her back to comfort her, "this should not have happened. But, I also blame myself. Both of you grew up without a father."

Sometimes I wish Neil had been the father to one of my daughters, but we broke up shortly after our romp in his backseat. Neil had moved away and I didn't expect to ever see him again. It wasn't a bad break-up, just the sort of thing that happens in high school. Still, he was a better man than Joshua.