The Former Mrs. Tan

The Honeymoon That Doesn't Seem a Honeymoon at All

I told Ana how Herbert and I met years ago at Contact Point and how many times we went out and had s*x. Blame it to our hormones, we both were in heat; we were at the prime of our lives. Both of us hate condoms and contraceptives so we just have to be careful. But when I found out that I was pregnant, I became excited. I felt like I've made it to become a total woman.

"Herbert, I'm pregnant," I said as I showed the positive sign in the pregnancy strip. "We are going to have a baby."

"So, what do we do now?" he asked dryly.

He looked serious and unprepared for the news.

"What do you mean?" I asked, pretending not to look disappointed.

"I'm sure, you want us to get married," he said in as a matter-of-fact tone. "Do your parents know?"

"Not yet," I said. At that point, reality shot into my head.

"Then, what are your plans?" he said, getting me to my senses.

"I want to keep the baby," I said. "How about you?"

"Well, there's nothing we can do about that now. We'll keep the baby. I just want to make sure that you want this."

With those words I felt Herbert's realistic concerns. He took my hands and squeezed them with his and then he kissed them. It reassured me that he still cared for me although I thought at first I thought that he will leave me just like what happened twice to Ana.

"Yes, Herbert, I am sure I want this," I said. I put my arms around him and kissed him on the cheek. "And I love you."

"I love you, too, Irene," he said and kissed me on the lips.

Herbert and I discussed how we would start a family. We planned to save money for our civil wedding and reception. We couldn't afford a church wedding yet. Plus, we had to save for my childbirth and its prerequisites: laboratory, regular check-ups, ultrasound, vitamins, and more.

Herbert was raised conservatively to believe that women should be primarily housewives and mothers. However, I pointed out to him that his earnings would not suffice if we need to save a large amount of money for the wedding and childbirth. So he agreed that I should continue working and would file a maternity leave before my ninth month.

We got married while I was three months pregnant. My parents were not happy because they wanted a church wedding and they didn't like Herbert for me.

My in-laws have the same feelings towards me, too. They thought that my family was elitist that looked down on people like them.

But neither of us cared what our parents had to say. Herbert and I were proud that we spent our own money for our wedding and reception without our parents' financial assistance. So we decided to live in an apartment in Marcelo and promised to stick to each other through thick and thin.

I woke up at the hammering sound from outside our apartment. It was already past eight in the morning. I overslept as pregnant women apparently do. I peeked out the window and saw Herbert making a wooden piece of furniture. I went out to see it.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I closed the door behind me.

He stopped when he saw me. He put down the hammer and nail he was holding and approached me. He kissed me and put his arms around my shoulders.

"Look," he said pointing to what he was doing. "What do you think of my labor of love?"

"You're making a big crib for the babies?"

He nodded and went back to work. "I'll try to finish the structure by tomorrow," he said. "And probably paint it during my free time on weekdays. After that, you can buy mats and pillows, and make them sets of pillowcases and blankets."

I smiled at the thought of his "labor of love" as I touched my belly.

This is it. There's no turning back now, Irene.

I could make pillowcases and blankets for the twins. I was thankful that we were taught how to sew back in high school.

It was only weeks ago when Herbert and I learned that we're having twins. For the first time, I saw a different excitement in Herbert's eyes. I just wished I could match that level of excitement.

"Is there something wrong, Irene?" Herbert asked.

"None," I said and gave him a reserved smile. "I was just imagining how powder blue, mint green, or white would look like in the crib."