The Former Mrs. Tan

My Married Life

Just like any other relationships, our married life was full of ups and downs. We'd go to the office together and go home together. We sometimes had breakfast in a 24-hour fast food joint before going home.

However, Herbert pointed out that we had to save money and lessen unnecessary expenses, so we agreed to just prepare our snacks and lunch and bring it to the office. People at the office were happy to see us together; they always call us "Mr. & Mrs. Tan."

On the other hand, Herbert and I argued about who should fix the bed after waking up. Herbert wanted his bed in order right after, while I only fix the bed if I have the time or if I remember to do so.

We argued on how to squeeze the toothpaste properly from a tube (he wanted it squeezed from the bottom, but I squeeze it from the center). We argued on what meal to prepare (he cooks very well, I just know how to).

He would be pissed seeing a mess inside the bathroom, toilet, or kitchen while I tolerate some mess from time to time.

"Do you really have to be this meticulous, Herbert?" I asked him one time.

"This should be a clean house, Irene," he said. "Twin babies are coming soon."

"Look, we don't have a maid," I pointed out. "We can't afford to hire one. So bear with me if I don't finish cleaning this apartment on time. I'd appreciate some help."

So he volunteered to clean the house and cook our food. But I told him that I'll not promise anything if ever I mess up. What I promised him was I'll be a good wife and mother despite my shortcomings.

Herbert was the only child, a favorite nephew in their clan, but he didn't grow up spoiled. His parents were Chinese immigrants living in the Marcelo-Cimitarra border south of the island, and when they met here they got married.

When Herbert was growing up, his parents owned a garment store near the Cimitarra public market which provided them comfortable living. Herbert knew the importance of money and was used to hard work, therefore doing chores comes out naturally to him.

My parents were the noveau riche type. They made fortune in their previous employments and investments --- they were executives of traditional big companies, saved money wisely, invested on properties and retirement funds, and were now enjoying the fruits of their labor. Travel and leisure became their priorities now that their Tres Marias had grown up and married.

My sisters and I grew up in luxury, studied in highly respectable schools, had nannies, maids, and drivers at our beck and call. So I had a hard time adjusting to domestic life with Herbert. However, he was understanding and supportive of me.

Everyone on both sides of the family expected me to give birth to twin boys via normal delivery. Are they crazy? I understood that giving birth to twins (and boys at that) was a first in both sides of the family, but they should have also understood also the pain I would have to go through.

The doctor allowed Herbert inside the delivery room when I was about to deliver. I remember that he wore a scrub suit and mask just like what the doctor and nurses were wearing.

He held my right hand as he coached me on my breathing. "One, two, three, push!" he said.

"f**k you!" I shouted in pain.

Why should I curse Herbert when I agreed to get pregnant in the first place anyway?