The Former Mrs. Tan

Leaving Herbert

It was a month and a half before my 35th birthday when I decided to leave Herbert and the twins, Brian and Brandon, who were both seven years old at that time.

"Herbert, I'm leaving," I remembered dropping the bomb at him after he told me of his good news that he got a pay increase as Level 2 Technical Support Representative.

Actually, I already knew that a week before he did. I have just been promoted to Operations Manager earlier that year and have acquired friends from the other departments like Payroll, Finance, and Accounting.

However, he didn't hear or understand what I've said.

"I said I'm leaving," I repeated. "I'm leaving you."

"Is this some kind of a joke?" he asked in surprise.

"Here are the car keys," I showed him the keys and placed them on the table.

My body was itching to leave the apartment that time. I felt my mental clock ticking and any minute longer would trigger my wholeness to explode.

"Here are the keys to all the doors and cabinets here. Here is the credit card under your name; I made you as my extension just in case you need it. I've already paid this month's rent and bills, so you don't need to worry about it at the moment."

"Look, Irene, I'm sorry if I've been screwing things up lately," Herbert said as he looked at those things I placed on the table. "I got myself an increase now… although I may not have the same salary as yours. Come on, can we just talk things over?"

I wasn't listening to him. I didn't intend to. I went to the door and picked up my suitcase and my shoulder bag that were waiting there then I opened the door.

"Hey, wait," he said as he tried to stop me going out of the door. He tried to pull the suitcase I was holding. "I may have done wrong, but please don't go..."

"It's not you, Herbert. It's me," I answered as I pulled the suitcase back from him and went out of the door, carrying it towards the gate. "It's my fault. I am a failure. You just married the wrong person. That's all."

And tears started to flow from my eyes.