The Former Mrs. Tan

The Last Straw

HERBERT TRIED HIS BEST to be a good husband and father at home and at the office. 

However, whenever I am with Herbert, I felt he was out of place. I couldn't even brag about him. I usually talk with other supervisors, managers, and directors while he was a relatively unknown, an agent much known as the husband of Irene Tan, the Senior Team Supervisor, rather than Herbert Tan, the Senior Tech. Support Rep.

Sometimes, we would fight about this, too. Sometimes, he would give a hint of his jealousy which I totally denied. He might have sensed about my affair with Billy. But he didn't bring out the issue. Instead, I turned it on to his “alleged affairs” and eventually, his lesser pay.

I stared at the total amount of the bill I was holding. Then I remembered the day when Herbert and I were taking our one-hour break together at the cafeteria. He opened our lunch boxes which he just reheated from the microwave oven.

"Herbert," I started. "Is it okay if I applied for a Team Supervisor position?"

"Sure," he said. "I don't see any problem with that."

"How about you, aren't you going to apply? There's a job opening in your line of business."

"Nah," he said. "I like my position better. Work eight hours, go home, eat, sleep, that's simple. No need for the additional work associated with supervisory tasks."

"Don't you have any ambition?"

"I do," he said. "I want to have a business of our own and be our own supervisors some day. But that will take time, I know."

That was many years ago when he was still comfortable with the idea of me moving up the corporate ladder. That was the time he was still very proud of my achievements.

However, change goes with time. I gave a heavy sigh as I folded back the electric bill and approached Herbert who was playing an online game.

"Can we talk, Herbert?" I asked.

"Sure," he said while staring at the monitor and playing as a knight in a medieval times. "What is it all about?"

"Is it okay if you add at least three thousand pesos in your contribution here?" I said. "Bills keep on rising these days."

"I can only promise one thousand five hundred to two thousand," he said as he continued clicking the keyboard and mouse simultaneously for his moves. "You know that I don't earn as much as you do."

There he goes again. How many times in our married life he said that statement to me? 

Out of frustration, I turned his computer off.

"Hey!" he shouted. "What's the matter with you?" 

"Listen," I said. "I am fed up seeing you so complacent when I am working hard here for the money. Don't you think I get tired, too? I felt like all of you are too dependent on me!" 

"Why do you sound like I'm not working?"

"You're not working nearly as hard as I do!"

"Why should I? We're living comfortably. Can't you be happy with that?"

"No, I'm not!"

"Do you think that you're still in Zona Recidencial with your parents?" he raised his voice. "You already have a family of your own! It is US now!"

"Yes, I do have a family. But this is not the kind of life I expected it to be!" I shouted back.

Herbert stared at me. "Now that you've said it, who do you think wanted this in the first place?"

He left me standing there as his last statement punched me in the gut.

ONE TIME, one of the newly-promoted senior managers treated us to dinner in a French restaurant. 

I saw Herbert in one corner dining with a woman. I didn't approach him so as not to create a scene. I made sure that I would arrive home first before he does.

So when he arrived home, I was already sitting on the dining table, waiting for him. I offered him brewed coffee and a slice of chocolate cake.

"No, thanks," he said as he approached and kissed me. "I'm full."

"Why? Have you eaten?" I asked putting down the cup of brewed coffee and his share of the chocolate cake in front of him.

"Yeah. I already had dinner," he said as he stared at them on the table.

"I see. Was the coffee and chocolate cake better eaten with someone beautiful and sexy like her?" I asked as I took a bite from my share of the cake.

Herbert might have sensed where I was coming from. He shook his head and explained.

"Okay, I admit, I was with a friend earlier," he said. "She was my high school classmate and we've talked about her husband who happened to be my best friend, too. There's nothing to be jealous about."

But I didn't buy that. I pointed out to him the possible reasons that he could be lying.

"And what do you want me to say?" he asked. "I went to bed with her? f****d her all night? Is that what you want to hear?"

I stood up and faced him. Anger was welling up on my chest. 

"Isn't it true? Just admit it, you sexually-starved brute!" 

"Sure, I'm sexually deprived because of you! You wanted me to look like the philandering husband while you're the oh-so-good wife?"

"Am I not working for this family, huh, Herbert? Do I not deserve to be called the good wife here?"

Herbert nodded. "So if you want it that way, then I'll do it."

He went back to the door and opened it.

"Where are you going?" I asked. "We're not yet through!"

"To get laid for real this time!" he said and slammed the door.