My Beta's Mate

Stages of Grief

Jewel



I wake up alone again in my room. Some nights I dream that Jake is still here, but then I wake up to reality.

My parents say I'm doing better than most, but that doesn't help the ache in my chest. I was able to keep my wolf sane. She is doing better than me now. She is hoping for a second chance, mate.

Two of my friends lost their mates in the great war and received second-chance mates. Maybe I'm just not ready for it. Perhaps that's why we're still alone.

Sam has been the most helpful. His level of grief seemed to match my own. He's held me when I've cried and listened. I needed someone to talk to. Sam is the opposite of Jake. Jake would talk his ear off and make friends with everyone in the room. Sam is quiet, almost moody, but still kind. So why am I comparing them? What the f*ck am I thinking?

"You're a lonely human. It's okay. I feel it too." says my wolf Shay.

It's early before the sun is up. I decide to get up and do some boxing. I have so many pent-up emotions that I need to let out. I put on some loud music and start beating the stuff out of the dummy. This place is heavily soundproofed. So I won't wake anyone. Would you like a sparring partner?" asks Sam. Unfortunately, I was so focused that I didn't even hear him come in.

"Uhh..sure. Why not." I reply.

We start sparring. He is good at reading me and lets me let off steam. His eyes are kind as we continue to spar. Finally, my adrenaline starts to rise, and so do my emotions. I am a raging crying mess. Before I know what is happening, my legs give out, and he catches me and pulls me to his chest. I sob. I pound on his chest. I'm hysterical. Eventually, my crying slows down, and I manage to talk some.

" I just miss him so much. I'm so damn lonely without him. What's wrong with me? Why can't I move on?". I say, and Sam continues to cradle me.

"Jewel, there is nothing wrong with you. I lost my mate three years ago, and I still miss her," says Sam.

"You lost your mate too?" I asked. I had never heard of this.

"Yes, I did. I only knew that she was my mate for twenty-four hours, though. The day after we found out, she was sent to handle an attack on the border and died. My human emotions weren't as bad, but my wolf was borderline suicidal. What got me through were my parents and my pack. You might feel alone, but you aren't. You have your family, your pack, and the Mount Wood pack. We're here for you." says Sam as he strokes my hair. My emotions settle down and realize that I'm on his lap. Blushing, I quickly rise up and away from Sam's warmth.

“I suggest some counseling from the Pack Doctor. Her name is Jane, and it helped me."

"You, an Alpha, actually sought counseling. I don't believe it." I reply, teasing him a bit.

"Yeah, don't tell anyone. I would lose some Alpha Cred for handling my emotions like an adult," he says while laughing a bit.

I head to the bathroom to clean myself up a bit. Then, we head out to training. Today we're focusing on the young wolves. All in their preteens and teens. This is usually the trainer's most minor favorite age group to work with, but I love it. They have spunk and keep me on my toes.

We split them into groups, boys and girls. I take the girls for a run, and he takes the boys for a run. It's better for their focus this way. The boys take the trails, and I take the field. There are more girls than there are boys.

Running some basic drills isn't too bad. Currently, they're sprinting from one side to the other. Some girls do it without question. Others start to whine.

"Why am I doing this...? I'm just going to marry an Alpha and be a Luna." whines a young brunette.

"You don't know that. The moon goddess could choose anyone for you." shot back her friend.

"But I have Beta blood." she shot back.

"Also, if you want to be a Luna. You should be working harder. A Luna needs to be strong. Not just kind. My sister-in-law is the Luna of the Redwood back, and she is just as fast and almost as strong as my brother, the Alpha." I say.

"But Amber had Alpha blood. That's cheating," she replied back.

"You said yourself that you have Beta blood. Now hustle, Jamie." I say, running beside her and pushing her pace.

"How's it going?" asks Sam through the mind link.

"They're a little extra whiney today, less spunky," I reply.

"Same here. Want to try to pit them against each other? A good ole battle of the sexes?" he asks.

"That's not a bad idea," I say back.

"We'll be back to the field in five," he says, then cuts the link.

I let them take a break and get some water. We line them up on the field by age. Middle schoolers go first, and then high school.

The middle school winner is a boy named John, and a girl named Amber wins the high school group.

"I want to see the Alpha and Beta race!" calls a high school boy.

"You boys really want to see your Alpha lose, then? Shame on you." I say, baiting Sam a bit.

"Woah Woah Woah, I won't be the one losing here. I am ready when you are Beta," says Sam while emphasizing my title.

We race, and he beats me, but not by much. I am fast, and I have long legs. Thanks, California genes. We both laugh it off and take the kids in to eat lunch. It’s interesting seeing an Alpha in this role. Most wouldn’t care about training the teens, but Sam seems to enjoy the task. He’s not here for every training class, but he comes often enough to inspire them.

I subtly watch Sam as we head inside. His head held high, his stride confident and sure. One of the boys says something, and I hear him laugh. The clear, crisp sound found my ears.