SAINT PAUL

The Good and Bad With Dad

The first thing that comes to my mind when thinking about the first time I moved in with my dad probably around age four or five; not sure exactly. But like I was explaining before, I remember mom's boyfriend came home with her one night, I remember blood, yelling, and the door getting kicked off the hinges. after that that night was blur I don't remember anything else. I guess I would have to fast forward a short time after that to remembering the two bedroom apartment duplex that became home. And I got to say I don't remember much to detail when it comes to being that age but I do remember moments that we're very specific and important to me that I'll never forget.And when I say moments, it ranges from a serious incident , to a Pay-Per-View event on TV, to a time I was hurt bad , and lastly, a moment where nothing happened whatsoever and I just remember the way I felt.

So let's start with this what I thought was a serious incident. it was an ordinary day running around pretending that I was Chuck Norris LOL. Playing the game of tag with my sisters and a couple of their friends. I remember it might have been a little bit chilly but it was a nice enough day for us to be running around outside. not sure who brought it but all sudden we had cans of spray paint I remember one was the brightest blue eyed have ever seen in my life and I thought it was so cool looking next to that dandelion color yellow can of spray paint which made it stick out really good and vivid. and honestly I don't know what gave her the idea or who actually even had the spray paint can in their hand but I remember that my older sister Linda was the one who got the bad end of that deal.. all's I remember is my Dad running up and down the stairs with my sisters body in his arms as fast as he could and rented her eyes out with water under the faucet. and you can't even deny that being a five-year-old kid to see that the scariness of your sister panicking along with your superhero dad that you wouldn't have been scared of shitless out of your mind too. I personally remember thinking my sister was going to die or something and I just coward down in a corner and cried waiting for my dad to give you okay that she was okay.. in which he did shortly after. it was a good thing he did what he did every step he took otherwise she would have been blind forever. that was scary I tell ya.

then we go to the Pay-Per-View event on TV. first one I ever seen in my entire life. and also the very moment I fell in love with the sport of wrestling in the beginning of my life. it was WrestleMania and I can't tell you exactly which one but some of you might remember as soon as I mentioned this. the main event was hulk Hogan versus The macho Man Randy Savage. who was also escorted to the ring to have it inside the very beautiful Queen Elizabeth.. oh yeeeeaaah!! Oh Yeeeeaaah! I can still hear my dad cheers to his buddies that were there drinking beers with him. my dad I was always saying that phrases I grew up. the macho Man freeze up oh yeah the macho Man Randy Savage oh yeah! I could see his hands in the motions they made in my mind as I write this now. they put a smile on my face just thinking about it that silly bastard. he used to always say that phrase and also a phrase from the movie The warriors..." oh warriors come out and play . oh warriors come out and playeeee." at the same time he'd have empty pop bottles around his fingers drinking together or if not having the actual pop bottles around his fingers he would pretend he did and still do it. LOL those were the days. hulk Hogan won that match by the way and became the heavyweight champion of the world and my favorite wrestler for quite a long time. even as time moved on, I may have found the wrestlers that became my more watched and favorite but the Hulkamaniac always was liked in my heart I never gave up on liking him. even after he toss my favorite actor Sylvester Stallone around like a meatball in the movie Rocky 3. oh I remember it was a devastating to watch that. you probably going to laugh at me but only because I had a hard time watching that movie and what the hulkster was doing to him because in my eyes Rocky Balboa was my dad. I literally believe that that was my dad because I thought them look so much alike and they both have an enormous heart and so powerful. I know it's a silly ass thing but it was my silly ass thing.

anyways moving on I do remember a time where I was carrying all of my action figures from wrestling in a bag and there was too many to carry in that bag but I didn't want to make two trips. so the very first trip I made, I only made it to what I can say was a trip down the stairs face first. boy I remember tumbling down them stairs Head over heels, heel getting caught in the railing ankle twisting causing me to flip sideways down the stairs also. how much to say else about that moment besides I'll never forget that I had almost a softball size not coming out of the side of my head after I was all done putting ice on it. and you damn right I cried because that f*****g hurt. lol

one thing I did forget to mention about living there is that was the very first time I've ever smelled what in m*******a is and what it smells like and looks like.. we all know kids snoop through people s**t, so that's what the f**k I did LOL. and I'll never forget the day I found the metal tin can camel filter cigarette box that belong to Dad. even at 4 or 5 years old that smell smells so good to me. never did try the weed at that moment just knowing that you had to roll something up and smoke it that's all I knew about it that's all I care to know about it at the time. I mean come on 5 years old all you want to do is play with toys guns and cops and robbers and s**t.

I guess the last thing I remember about being there besides another thing I forgot to mention was that was the place I lived when we first got our first cat named cuddles. she was in our family quite a long time vicious as hell but loved us... I mean she tore us up from time to time but it was out of love I'd say. anyways she became family. but the last thing I really remember there was probably one of the greatest feelings I ever felt in my life that I could say was a real feeling. I was standing in a closet that was off of the living room a walk-in closet. it was a freezing cold winter night. to the left outside of the closet door across the living room was a Christmas tree with presents under it and covered with big huge Christmas bulbs. like the old Christmas bobs that were extra large in a pure foggy as you looked at them. and as I put my arms up on the windowsill and my forehead against the cold glass window that were the bottoms of the glass was more like frost ice that you could barely see through. and across the street were a couple of houses next to each other that were all lit up with Christmas lights and fresh snow that covered the houses and there was just a dark purple kind of light at the same time color sky in the background houses. I felt like the most joyful jolly warm feeling I've ever had in my life is a child. a child who was just so fascinated by Christmas without a worry in the world. knowing that when he goes to sleep tonight at the next morning Santa was coming and leaving presents for us to open in the morning. so every Christmas from that point forward I've always tried to reach for that feeling of a bad day at that moment and I've never been able to get it again. don't get me wrong, Christmases were great growing up. I had good parents that did their best and did a great job at making Christmas feel special. and it really was. and it really still is but it's just not the same in my eyes. and maybe it's because I'm not a child anymore and I have a child of my own now. so you feel more of a responsibility than waiting for enjoyment but that's not saying that I do not enjoy Christmas so please don't think I'm a Grinch. I'm just saying that moment in my life at that age I'll never forget feeling so good.. I don't know if it's because them kind of style Christmas lights don't exist anymore so much or is it just got a switch from going from being a child to an adult but that was the best Christmas feeling I had in my entire life.. that is until I seen the joy on my daughter's face at a young age opening a present that she wanted. a school a Barbie or a Scooby-Doo house to a monster high house .. there's nothing like being a kid and opening up Christmas present you wanted.. tell her it's nice to get kids but the excitement kind of goes away when you hit teenager. anyways, so that was what I remember about moving in with Dad. and the bad part of it was that I missed Mom.

and that is good as the dad is he is, sometimes we all make bad decisions that unfortunately the law does not like. and its a personal opinion when I say that even though you are not harming anybody and you are just trying to benefit your family financially, I don't feel like it's such a bad thing . but the law does... so unfortunately with a good there are bad times that come with....