When She Liked Her

Chapter III: The emotions II

The emotion is suddenly out of me

The emotion's building up inside of me~

First week after Kate's confession, nothing really significant changed. Except when Kate and Sam are near each other. Kate wouldn't even dare throw a gaze at the latter, even a single word was not spared.

It wasn't really noticeable. Since Kate is a transferee, she wasn't exactly close with anyone in their school except for Chad. Kate's relationship to Sam prior to her confession was something you can't call as close, but they were good friends. They would share some laugh at some jokes from their occassional small talks at the back of the class since they both sit there. Sam would usually call Kate's attention in the middle of a class just to show her something funny she found like some stupid statements found in the books, or vice versa, where Kate would call Sam show her a meme when she's secretly using her phone because some of their teacher aren't paid enough to care if the whole class is paying attention or not.

But compared to now, it's like Sam is non-existent when it comes to Kate. Totally, completely, absolutely non-existent. In which Sam isn't that much bothered, it's actually is a good thing right? But she's thinking it could've been better under the circumstance if she's treated like an air instead. Though Sam is being blatantly ignored, at least it still feels like she's there, simply existing.

It was the last day of the same week and before their last class, Media and Arts, ended, their teacher grouped them into four with ten members each. Sam was subtly looking at someone particular. Looking for some signs in their reaction or behaviour if they will be assigned in the same group, maybe something that would indicate and justify what they just confessed last week. Because somehow, it doesn't make sense how someone would do an audacious move to tell her they like her then treat her in the most impudent way she could ever imagine. An arrant nonsense, you could say.

"Summer Jane Kangjeon, Fredirick Martin Solomon, Chadwick Leighman Fraser, Kurt Martines, Matthew Jake Garcia, Janice Kate Yang, Chloe Ramos, Erzel Maine Yu, Gregorio dela Cruz, and..." the teacher paused and looked on her record book.

"and Katherine Cole Wang." the teacher finally said.

Sam intently look at the owner's name, scanning every feature on their face to see any reaction. Nothing. Kate was quietly looking at the window. Sam wondered if she even heard her name being called.

Sighs, didn't know this girl is weird. Sam could only think. Isn't it weird though? She thought Kate likes her, then what is she doing? Sam shakes her head.

Her subconscious made her ask something that actually makes sense.

But why does it matter though?

"Argh." Sam groaned that earned a weird look from her best friend. "What's with the passionate, sincere grooaaan Ms. Kangjeon?" Trey jokingly asked.

"Nothing." Sam just looked at the front and focused her attention on their teacher.

"Okay class, please remember what group you are and plan whatever it is you need to plan. Remember, I am giving you two weeks for this short film. It shouldn't take you a long time since it's only an infomercial. Maximum length is five minutes. Do you follow?" the teacher asked while fixing her things from the teacher's table in front of the class.

The class answered simultaneously with a yes.

"Miss Kangjeon?" Their teacher called. Sam immediately looked at her. "Kindly send me the sss the list of members of each group. Is that okay?"

"Yes, Ma'am. Expect it at 8:00 PM later." Sam smiled.

"Okay, thank you Summer. I'll go ahead, class dismiss!"

Trey called Sam's attention in which the latter picked up at the second call.

"So, what's your plan after here?" Trey asked.

"I-- uhm... I'll probably go home. You know Dad."

"He's sure a total boomer, but he's sweet so--" Trey shrugged to end her statement in which Sam just answered with a chuckle.

"Don't act like your parents aren't the same. We both know we're not going anywhere after here." Sam rolled her eyes at Trey and both laughed at how ridiculous the circumstance they are under. Both are 18 years old who are still controlled by their parents.

They were both in the middle of laughing when someone's voice that's already familiar with Sam because of her confession last week appeared. It came from her back.

"Hi Kaaate!" Trey greeted.

Sam looked over her shoulder, and right there stands the all too familiar face who she can't stop staring at earlier. Not because she likes her, she was just overly observing the owner of this face in front of her.

"Hi Trey, can I talk to Sam? It's about our by-pair project in Philosophy." Kate politely asked with her not-so-deep voice laced with both femininity and masculinity. It's gentle and bold, kind and solid. Does it even make sense? It doesn't have to. It's possible anyway, Kate for example.

"Yes! Sure. I'll actually go ahead. My mom's already waiting for me." Trey fixed her things and was all ready to go home. She called Sam's attention once again.

"Summer, you take care on your way. Love you sis!"

"Love you too! Take care!" Sam smiled, looking at her best friend disappearing from the classroom the time she turned right outside the door.

"So?" Sam immediately focuses back to Kate, her mood immediately shifted. Smile went away with it.

"I'm already done finding all the information you needed. I was gonna ask if I should send it to you through G-mail or just transfer them to your MacBook. I have it in my USB drive here." Kate casually talked to her, as if she wasn't ignoring her the whole week.

Sam almost forgot about their Philosophy project.

Wow. This would make the very first time she talked to me since that day. Sam thought.

She paused for a second, thinking about her situation with the person in front of her. Wondering is it's even necessary to deal with it. Why does she even bother?

"Just send it through G-mail." Sam finally said. She was tired thinking about it, if Kate want them to be this way, then so be it.

She doesn't even matter! Sam shakes her head at the frustrated thought. That's right, she doesn't even matter. Sure, she was a good friend, but she didn't matter that much. She only knew her for almost two months and she has all this other friends other than Kate.

Losing her, that she wouldn't mind at all.

****

Losing her. Yes, that didn't matter at all. Except it does with regards to her ego; not that she's willing to acknowledge the fact. She's pretending she doesn't care, and that's what she tells herself over and over. But at the back of her mind, she knew why she cared. It's her ego, her pride, her id.

And she's not willing enough to admit it.

It's been a week and now they're at a park, just near at The Switch. They're working on their film project for their Media and Arts. That means Kate is also there, what makes it more difficult for Sam is that they have a scene together.

It's nothing serious. Their scene is just about two people plotting something bad together, it's kind of a plot twist to their story. It's just at the beginning of the story, these two aren't connected at all. But as the end nears, it will all come together and it's actually the two of them after all. They'll have a short conversation and that's it.

She just wished it wasn't her she'll have to deal with.

Sam's waiting at the corner, assisting their director from time to time as she manages everything with Greg, the top 3 in their class.

He's the Gregorio dela Cruz that was called during the groupings. He's kind of into arts and cinematograhpy so she assigned him to direct their short infomercial.

Sam's busying herself with the script on her hand when Kate suddenly appeared beside her, holding the same script she has. She was expecting the latter to talk to her about their scene because what else should they talk about?

Minutes have passed and no words came out from Kate. She was just there standing beside her, watching their groupmates doing their works.

This made Sam a little insulted and impatient. The frown on her face that wasn't there before Kate showed up grows more obvious as she stands beside her now, lowkey feeling awkward. She's expecting the girl to at least talk to her when she literally just stood beside her, almost invading her personal space. Well, not that Kate means to.

But can't she just leave me alone? She was about to say something when Greg called her. Kate didn't move a little, maybe to look at someone or maybe an urge to turn your head when someone called the person beside you? Especially when its the person you like?

Argh. Whatever. Sam could only groan at the thought.

"Yes, what do you need?" She boringly asked and went to Greg, leaving Kate behind.

Greg wanted to have a break first and asked Sam a favor if she could take over for a minute and he won't take long. The latter agreed kindly. Not that she's really glad accepting the favor but just to be considerate of the guy. Greg has been directing nonstop for hours now under the extreme heat of the sun, keeping everyrhing in order and making sure to get all the scenes needed as planned. So yeah, a little consideratiom would not hurt.

Not that she didn't do anything though. She, in fact, came up with the story, co-write the script with Erzel and Matthew. She also managed their timeline of activities and has to edit their video too after everything.

Almost half an hour passed and Sam started to get impatient.

"Where the hell is Greg?!" she whisper-shouted. He should be done with whatever he was doing by now.

Sam didn't want to do the work anymore, it's not supposed to be her work anyway. The temperature's getting hotter since it's noon and the sun is at its peak. Beads of sweats starts running down her forehead and neck, her throat starts to get dry too. She's thristy.

Sam subconsciously looked at her spot earlier. Kate is still there. Was she just standing there this whole time? She was occupied with all the directing and giving orders she just did, so she didn't noticed if the girl even moved from her position. Although she thinks she saw the spot earlier empty, but she wasn't sure. She didn't have the time to think about it.

Sam shrugged the thought away and focused on her current task while waiting for Greg to finally show up.

"SAAAM!" Aah yes! Finally! Sam exhaled and rolled her eyes.

"Girl what took you soo loong!" Sam announced exasperatingly, as if she was more tired waiting for Greg to show than the actual work itself.

Sam just hates when she accepts some favor when she shouldn't simply because she's not in the mood and she already did almost everything. In other words, Sam hates herself. It's just hard for her to say no.

She tried to hide her irritation but she just couldn't contain it anymore. Greg immediately apologized for what happened.

"No, it's okay. It's just the sun's merciless right now!" Greg just laughed, sensing that Sam's not mad at all.

"I know right!" Greg replied.

They both laughed but Sam immediately excused herself.

Oh boy did poor Greg sensed it wrong.

She's actually frustrated, she just couldn't show it since she doesn't want the other to feel sorry and get all awkward.

"Sam, wait!" Greg called her before she could find a spot to rest on. She was kind getting irritated. It's taking everything to maintain her emotions under control.

"Here. That's yours." He gave her a bottle of cold water, just what she needs right now.

"Aww! Thank you Greeeg! You didn't have to bother, but thanks!" Sam's so grateful at the moment she could shower with this water except her throat needs it more.

"Oh that's not on me." Greg chuckled but Sam was too preoccupied drinking the water.

Water tastes the best when you needed them most, Sam swears.

"Whatever, dela Cruz. I'll go rehearse my scene." Sam waved her hand and left to do what she just said she should be doing. Sam looked at Kate for the last time and thought about how the latter has been occupying her mind these past weeks. She couldn't believe how she doesn't care about her at all, even just a tiny bit if she does like her.

****

Another week went by and Sam's group is almost done with their film project. The filming was all done, now she just has to organize the videos and edit it.

Good thing school is still chill for now, it's just the second month since it started. It's almost done. Nevertheless, school should still be chill on its first three months. Or at least finish the second month first before piling homeworks up. It's still a week before it officially becomes three months anyway.

With the timeline this way, this also means the third week since Kate confessed.

After Kate decided that she should stay away from Sam, she really did it. She would only talk to her if necessary. She knows it's kind of a jerk move. Confessing and immediately countering it through her actions.

She wanted to talk to the girl to formally apologize, that she meant what she said but realized that it was wrong, and that she would totally understand if she doesn't want to be friends with her anymore, and that making her uncomfortable is the last thing she would ever consider doing but she did anyway. But at the end, Kate decided that she should just drop it since Sam seemed not bothered. Maybe it didn't matter to her at all, which Kate considers as a relief. Or she thought.

They're working on their Philosophy project in the library right now and Kate is too focused on her task while the girl beside is the total opposite, although both are quiet. Kate already did her part last week but their teacher suddenly added extra last minute instructions which dismayed all of them, most specially Sam. Except the dismay grew more into a strong feeling of annoyance, and it sure does could burst out any moment.

"What are you doing?" Sam suddenly asked, eyebrows raised and an etch of frustration in her voice.

Kate looked up, looked around her and finally at Sam. She's making sure the girl beside her is talking to her, and she sure does.

"Doing what?" Kate who was just reading the material looked at her confusingly.

"Well, whatever it is you're doing? I thought you like me?" Sam almost sounds impatient, totally contrasting her soft, almost angelic face.

"Yeah...? I do. So what?"

"So why do you act like you don't?!" It was like Sam blew up but kept her cool not to get the librarian's attention.

What does she mean? Kate doesn't know. She could only stare at the irritated Sam.

Seconds after thinking, it immediately hits Kate.

"Oh..." She's thinking about this? Kate thought. Maybe she was wrong after all, the girl isn't unbothered as she thought.

"I--- uh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Do you wanna talk about it?" Kate softly asked.

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to?" Kate got surprised at Sam's sassiness. It's new, or not. Maybe it's the other side of the girl. She doesn't know much about her anyway.

"Okay... uhm... well, I'm sorry. I... it wasn't my intention at all to confuse you like this. I'm not justifying what I did. I'm just... sorry. I meant everything I said that day, but it was wrong." Kate felt bad while saying those words. It's been three weeks since she confessed and has been ignoring the girl at the same time. Sam must have been thinking about it all this time.

The girl beside her was just giving her a piercing look, in which Kate gave back with a kinder one.

"I'm genuinely sorry..." Kate added.

Sam exhaled. She does look sorry. She thought.

They went silent after minutes when Kate asked about something.

"Hey... so, well I'm just curious but... why does it matter? You don't like me anyway. Isn't it better that... I'm staying away from you?"

Sam couldn't answer immediately. She's staring at the book in front of her, stuck on the same page for almost fifteen minutes now.

"It doesn't matter. You're assuming things." Sam finally said, her voice tastes bitter with the remark.

Kate didn't say anything.

"It's just weird you know. You tell me something so audicious, and then ignore me afterwards and acting like you do not care about me at all. You bothered my peace, just so you know." She added. She sounds so... wrong? She's feeling guilty while saying those words but somehow it's kind of rational. Kate did bothered her peace, but the latter already said her sorry. Most of all, she said it herself she's accountable of her actions. No, she has the right to get mad.

"Okay... I'm really sorry." Kate could only say.

She knows what she did, and she's guilty about it.

"I.. ignored you because I thought it'd be better if I stayed away from you after I knew you already have a boyfriend." Kate explained although it wasn't asked. She just feels like Sam should know about it, perhaps to make the latter less...mad? insulted? about what she did. Although she doesn't know if it would help. By every measure though, she's not trying to defend herself.

A boyfriend? Sam was confused for a second and realized maybe Kate's talking about Isaac. Well, she's not sure where and from whom she heard it, but Isaac's not her boyfriend. But they do have some kind of an exclusive relationship.

A little frustrated and confused about what she feels, if she should be mad or forgive Kate, Sam didn't bother answering.