Diary Of A Depressed Virgin

Chapter 3 - So This Is It

“Babe?” The voice on the other end of the line was unfamiliar, and it sent a jolt through me. Who was this? And why was he calling my wife’s phone? My grip tightened around the device as I fought to keep my voice steady. Out of curiosity—and the love I had for Jessica—I stayed patient. I needed clarity. Confirmation. It can’t be, I thought. Jessica isn’t that kind of person. There had to be a better explanation. It was impossible.

Yet, a million thoughts raced through my mind. Every possibility, every sign I might have missed. I began piecing together fragments of the past, wondering if it all made sense now. Could everything I’d been ignoring come crashing down in this moment? The overthinking only made my heart pound harder, prolonging the inevitable answer to the questions gnawing at me.

Finally, I ripped the bandage off. “Apologies,” I said, my voice calm but firm. “Who are you trying to reach?”

The man on the other end responded with unsettling confidence. “Jane, please. She called me from this number a while ago. I haven’t been able to reach her on her other line, so I thought I’d try this one again.”

Relief washed over me like a tidal wave. I explained that he had the wrong number, and he apologized before hanging up. Crisis averted. But despite the relief, I couldn’t shake the emotions that had gripped me earlier. The fear of betrayal. The thought of losing Jessica. The haunting possibility that my child might not be mine. The anxiety lingered, a dark cloud I couldn’t dispel.

I found myself wrestling with my own thoughts. Do I love Jessica so much that I’m this terrified of losing her? Or am I a terrible person for even considering she might have been unfaithful? Regardless of the answers, I made a silent promise to myself: I would be better. I would be there for her. Because I loved her.

The next morning, I stood in the bedroom, knotting my tie while on the phone with my boss. “I’ll meet with them soon,” I said. “We’ll discuss everything when I get there. Okay. Bye, sir.”

I hung up, the sound of the running tap in the bathroom filling the silence. The baby’s cries echoed from behind the door, but Jessica didn’t respond.

“Babe?” I called out. “Is everything okay in there?”

No answer.

“Babe?”

My heart began to race as I moved toward the bathroom. Something felt off. I pushed the door open, and what I saw made my blood run cold.

Jessica was standing there, holding our baby under the running shower. Her face was blank, her eyes empty, as though she were in a trance.

“Jesus Christ!” I rushed forward, snatching the baby from her hands. “Jessica! Are you insane?”

She blinked, as if waking from a dream. “I… I didn’t… I didn’t mean to…”

Martha burst into the room, her eyes wide with fear. “Dan, what’s going on?”

“Jess almost drowned our child,” I said, my voice trembling with anger and disbelief.

“Blood of Jesus!” Martha exclaimed, taking the baby from me. She began to pray, her voice shaking. “The devil is a liar. Shh… Shh. It’s okay, my dear. It’s okay.” She turned to Jessica, her eyes accusing. “What is wrong with you? Blood of Jesus, Blood of Jesus.”

I stared at Jessica, my mind reeling. The love I’d felt for her moments ago had been replaced by fury. “I don’t know what’s going on with you,” I snapped. “I don’t know what’s come over you lately, but your own child? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Dan… I… I don’t know what happened…” Her voice was small, broken, but I couldn’t bring myself to comfort her. Not after what she’d just done.

“Just get your s**t together,” I said, storming out of the room.

Now, I sat in the living room, packing my bag while on the phone with Helen—Jessica’s mother. It was ironic, really. I rarely spoke to her. Our conversations were always cold, distant, as though I had to impress her just to pull her out of her shell. Jessica didn’t talk much about her, either. But this was different. This was about her daughter.

“I… I don’t even know what’s happening anymore,” I said, my voice heavy with exhaustion. “Please, I think you should come and talk to her.”

My mother sat nearby, rocking the baby in her arms. Her eyes were filled with worry. When I hung up, she turned to me. “Who was that?” she asked.

“Jessica’s mom,” I replied.

She nodded, her expression grim. “Dan, this is serious. It’s not normal.”

I sighed, running a hand over my face. “I know.”

“This isn’t the first time I’ve noticed this kind of behavior,” she continued. “It’s happened before. Twice in the kitchen, she almost burned the food. And whenever I tell her to do something, she gives me this… satanic stare.”

“Mom, you don’t have to exaggerate,” I said, though a part of me wondered if she was right.

“I’m serious,” she insisted. “This is spiritual.”

I sighed again, my shoulders slumping. “Anyway, her mom will be here soon. Please just keep her away from the baby for now.”

Martha nodded. “You don’t even have to tell me.”

“Alright, Mom. I’ll see you later.”

I headed out, my mind racing. What was happening to Jessica? And how could I fix it?

On my way to work, my phone rang. I glanced at the screen and froze. It was Jessica. I wasn’t sure I should answer. I wasn’t sure I knew what to say—or what she might say that would shatter me further. But she had never reached out like this before. So, I answered.

To my surprise, her voice was calm, almost normal. “Do you still love me?”

The question caught me off guard. What did she mean? After everything that had happened, that was what she was worried about?

“Why are you asking me that?” I asked, my voice tight.

“I just need your answer, Dan,” she said softly.

There was a long pause before I finally responded. “Yes. Of course, I still love you.”

The line went dead.

What the hell was that about? Was it validation she needed? Or something deeper? I couldn’t make sense of it.

I arrived at the office and tried to focus on preparing for my meeting, pushing the morning’s events to the back of my mind. Just as I was starting to relax, my phone rang again. It was my mom.

“You need to get back here now,” she said, her voice urgent. “Jessica has completely lost it.”

My heart skipped a beat. “What’s wrong?”

“Your wife is fighting her mother.”