The Conquered Sun

02: Jace

Jace cracked her eyelids open, the steady beep of the vital monitor assuring her that she was back to reality, much as she hated it. Instructor Farrell, a woman whose fierceness was permanently etched on her face, frowned at her from the other end of the room. "I don't think I need to tell you what went wrong."

Not wanting to argue again, Jace pursed her lips and replied, "No, Ma'am. I will work harder."

She sat forward, peeled the sensors off her temples and jumped herself off the reclining chair, the instructor's words trailing behind her even as she closed the door to the simulation room.

A brown-haired man stood around the corner and greeted her with a kind smile when she got out. Gavin Ethridge pushed off the wall, walking in pace with Jace. "So, how did it go?"

"Don't ask."

Genuine concern lit up his bright blue eyes. "Is it the same thing again?"

Jace nodded. "Yeah. The Trials are in a few weeks and I still can't finish my fearscape training."

Ever the optimist, Gavin squeezed her shoulder. "Don't beat yourself up. You know what Nyan would say if he was here? Fears and impulses are hard to control. Something about our brain and chemicals or something."

Jace rolled her eyes, smiling.

They stopped in front of the elevator, waiting for the digitised number overhead to correspond with the floor they were on. A comfortable silence hung between them. She stared straight ahead and found herself staring at her reflection on the shiny metal doors. Unlike most people in the city, her copper-brown eyes were tilted almonds. It wasn't what most people noticed though. A dark, ragged scar ran from the edge of her right eye, cutting through her cheek, the corner of her lips and ending just slight of her chin.

She was surprised when a warm hand enclosed hers. "It's shaking again. What are you thinking about?"

Jace shook her head, pulling her hand from Gavin's grasp. "I'm fine."

Gavin knew she wasn't but he didn't press on. The girl had a bad habit of shutting up when forced to talk. He watched her take the left corner, putting her back against it as a vantage point. It was a force of habit, one she developed since she entered the Academy.

The doors were closing when a hand shot out to stop it, sliding to the sides to reveal the two people Jace tried to avoid. The newcomers also stopped in their tracks when they realised who was inside.

Cold silence settled inside the cramped interior as Jace locked eyes with the brown-haired girl. There was apparent hatred in those grey-green irises that reminded her of moss-coated concrete walls back in Inculta. Mazarine Stallard had always been her toughest competitor in the Academy. The girl hated her so much.

Although she could say the same for herself. The hate borne out of their father's faults was mutual. Mazarine was the daughter of the man who arrested and executed her father. After all, her father was accused of murder the Commander's son, Mazarine's brother.

Behind Maze was Finch Dagon, the son of the former Lieutenant. His blond hair was so light it was almost white. He was wearing his usual smile, with one corner of his lips upturned, an apparent glint of confident arrogance in his eyes, the kind that usually made the girls at the Academy swoon over him. Except for Maze, everyone called him Day.

Day clicked his tongue, nudging Maze forward. "I don't wanna be late for Vargas' class so if I were you, I'd get in now."

Mazarine replied with a glare, then stepped in and took the opposite edge of the small space, as far away from Jace as possible. The interior was too quiet, too cramped despite the wide berth they gave each other. The elevator began to move.

"Does it always happen?" Day asked.

Not knowing who he asked, no one replied, but they did look around, Jace and Maze averting their gazes that accidentally crossed.

"Your hand," he said, glancing down at Jace's shaking hand. She balled them into fists, willing them to stop. "Does it always tremble like that?"

"It's none of your business," Gavin replied, stepping in between the two. There was comfort in staying behind Gavin. In their years of being in the Academy, Gavin had been her shield.

Day raised his hands in mock surrender, chuckling awkwardly. "Chill, man. I was just curious."

"Don't you have enough people to make fun of?" he spat. Jace laid a hand on his arm and shook her head. "It's fine," she mouthed.

Mazarine watched the exchange between the two. The silent conversation passing between their eyes was familiar. Too familiar that she had to turn away while her gut twisted. Her hate simmered close to the surface but she reined it in.

"Look, I'm not making fun of her. I'm genuinely curious. Look, look at my eyes." He widened his eyes as if to emphasise his point. Mazarine rapped her knuckles against his forearm. "Oh, come on. I'm just curious."

"No, not always," Jace finally replied.

"You haven't had it checked out?" he asked. There was genuine curiosity in his voice. She flexed her hands then straightened them. The tremor was slowly abating.

"I did. The Medicus didn't have anything for it."

"Cool." Realising how he sounded, Day doubled back. "I mean, not cool that they can't treat it but cool how you deal with it." He laughed awkwardly.

"I get it."

The elevator stopped and the doors slid open. Maze stepped off first. Day followed then paused, turning to Jace with a small wave just as the doors closed.

"What was that about?" Gavin asked. "Cool," he repeated, mimicking Day's low voice.

Jace chided him. "He wasn't trying to be rude."

"He didn't need to try."

Chuckling, she said, "Meredith will skin you for that."

"No, she won't. She'll just smile and say, 'You really are your father's son.'" He grinned sheepishly, the corner of his eyes crinkling.

"Thanks," she whispered after a moment of silence. She didn't need to say what she was thankful for. Gavin understood. He always did.

The doors slid open to reveal the open space of the mess hall of the Academy. Jace dodged to the side to avoid a hurrying Mundan apprentice entering the elevator, clad in a red training suit. The mess hall was a potluck of every district in Telluria, dressed in the respective colours of their career paths.

"The Trials is few weeks, Jace. I'm a little worried," Gavin said.

"That makes two of us."

He apologised, then handed her a lunch tray. They fell in line with the other apprentices. "I'm just saying. There's no one I'll trust with my back but you."

Jace smiled, not knowing what to say. She walked ahead to their table where Nyan Langston was already picking through his food. Whereas Gavin and Jace were dressed in the black uniforms of Vincit-based jobs, Nyan was in the red and yellow colours of Munda.

He momentarily looked up when she sat across him. "How was fearscape training today?"

Before she could answer, Gavin claimed the seat beside him and answered for Jace. "She failed. Again."

Turning to her, Nyan asked, "You do know they're not real?"

"Isn't that the point of a simulation?" She threw back at him.

"Well, yes, but all you had to do was stick to the protocol, which I assumed is where things went wrong again, right?"

"It's not that easy," she replied. "Not when you're facing your fears."

"Fear is just your brain's biochemical and emotional response to a perceived threat. It doesn't necessarily mean it's actually there." He paused to swallow the food in his mouth. "In fact, the key to completing the simulation lies in keeping yourself calm and responding the way you're supposed to. It's not really that far from conforming to what society dictates us to be."

"Just be thankful you don't have to go through it, smarty-pants."

Nyan shrugged, taking a bite off of his lunch. Steering the conversation away from herself, she turned to Gavin. "And how did you do at the sim?"

"I succeeded in six, but I still have three to fight off."

She scoffed at him. "You don't have to be so smug about it."

As the two of them droned on about theoretically dealing with fears, Jace busied herself with turning over her fearscape in her head. She knew what went wrong. The moment her father came into the picture, she was thrown out of balance.

Physically, she was capable. But mentally and emotionally, she was a mess. There were so many tangles to unravel in her life. And she wasn't ready to know what lied between those knots. But she needed to figure out how to combat her fears if she wanted to stay in the Academy. She was not going to end up like her father.