The Birch's Petals

About Those Feelings

EVERYTHING reminded her of Samantha, everywhere she looked, she would always outline her features. Then she would get lost in her thoughts, recalling how good they were together. How they were meant for each other.

The warm grin Samantha offered her and the twinkle in her eyes as she handed her the last of the dark chocolate. Her thoughts drifted even as she sat through a lesson. Alicia tried shaking her and snapping her fingers in front of her face to grab her attention, but nothing worked. She was completely spaced out.

"Come back here you menace."

Seventeen-year-old Samantha chased Zedina around the kitchen counter with flour in her palms ready to slap it on her face.

Zedina's mom laughed in the background filming the whole thing. Zedina giggled as she run behind her mom and hid.

"Oh, no you don't get to use mama T."

Samantha said and grabbed her arm, pulling her from her hiding spot. Zedina squealed when a palm full of flour settled on her face.

Some of it got into her mouth, which she quickly started spitting out. Zedina's mom laughed, shaking her head.

"You're both cleaning that up." She faked scowling, causing them to laugh. Samantha planted a kiss on Zedina's mom's cheek and grabbed a dust cloth.

"Love you mama T." Samantha said, "Love you too kiddo." Samantha's mom chuckled and ruffled her hair.

Zedina jumped startled and grabbed her boob, she sent a hard glare at Alicia, who shrugged and rolled her eyes. "You f*****g elbowed my boob!" She whispered angrily.

"What! I had to get your attention. You have been spacing out and the class is almost over." Alicia rolled her eyes and went back to listening to the lecturer.

Zedina sighed heavily and opened her book, "Television Production" was neatly written in red ink yet nothing else was added. She quickly peered at Alicia's work and realized how far behind she was. She rubbed her face, rolling her fingertips on her temple.

"We're having a test next week so come prepared. It will count for fifty percent of your semester results, so study hard." The lecturer said.

Everyone in the lecture hall groaned, some mumbling disapproving thoughts. Zedina only sighed, "Can I have your notes after class?" She asked.

"Sure thing. You know I won't even ask what you were thinking about. Or rather who." Alicia said. Zedina rolled her eyes and closed her book.

"It's her, isn't it?" Zedina didn't like her tone one bit.

"Why would you assume that?" Zedina inquired defensively.

Alicia shook her head and raised her arms, "I was just asking." She exhaled.

"But seriously, Zee, when are you going to stop? Clearly, it's affecting you. When was the last time you actually concentrated for more than ten minutes in a class or conversation since you guys made that absurd casual s*x agreement?"

"It's not always about that, you know? I've got other things to worry about. Inclusive of you being so into my business. Please just stop." Zedina sighed.

She felt exhausted from everything. She couldn't sleep well because she kept thinking about Samantha. Which led to hours of crying and wishing everything went back to when they were dating. Then she woke up late for her first class and had to skip it.

"I'm only looking out for you Zee. I don't care how mad at me you get; you have to end things with her. If not for your sake, then for us. We're all worried about you."

"You have nothing to worry about. I'm fine, I just didn't get enough sleep." Zedina plastered a smile across her lips and squeezed her friend's hand.

Alicia sighed dejectedly and nodded, there was no changing her mind about that.

Zedina knew she wasn't letting Samantha go. Letting her go would mean letting go of years of friendship, and love go down the drain. She couldn't bear the thought of Samantha completely out of her life. No, she COULDN'T do that.

She would rather endure casual s*x with her with no expectations than have nothing at all. She would suppress her feelings deep down if she had to, so she wouldn't compromise their agreement.

No catching feelings.