November-5
1968 Words
I fell back and cried. “Please, please don’t leave me! I would do anything for you.” My mind raced, and I knew the next words I would say, but again, change them I could, but I chose not to. “Stay with Clarissa, I will not say a word. But please, remember me for a time and come to me, too. Please, do not forget me!”
He stood up and spit on the floor next to me. “I will have none of you.”
He walked away from me, and I knew he would be gone forever. Yet now, I had the power to burn his mind with my hurt and fury. I wanted to give in to my anger. When he wanted me, I gave him all. I loved him, laughed, listened, and longed to be with him as he was my night and day. All along, he had simply used me to fill up the time when he was lonely and now he had moved on, using what I had done to him as a means to escape with ease. He had flitted on to his next conquest, allowing himself to be free of responsibility and consequences.
He once had told me to trust him and I, a foolish girl, believed him. Now his selfishness angered me. How could he desert me so truly? He had not even one kind word for me. And he saw himself as right, true, and could not see how hurtful he treated me. All was meant for him as it was easier that way. Never could he look in the mirror and admit how he used people, tossed them aside and then moved on, flitting like a butterfly in the sun, drinking from flower to flower and never resting long. Never.
The power I had within my veins would allow me to rewrite history, to change the past, but I could not change how he had treated me. I wanted him to want me and he did not. He left the room and I sobbed, loudly and hard, on the floor. My vision blurred, he came beside me and knelt down and offered me his hand. I accepted and the Silver Fox pulled me close.
“Not so easy, is it?” He said nothing else and held me in his arms, making soothing noises to help calm me.
Time passed, and the room in the castle faded away. I noticed that he was dressed in the best finery. He helped me up, and we walked away from the past, seeing it fade away, and our world dropped beneath us and for several moments we floated through the Land of the Fey crossing the tops of flowers, being so small, and yet when we arrived where he wanted me to be the world had changed yet again. I did not recognize our surroundings. My hand still glowing, I remained cautious and prepared to defend myself, but the kindness on his face remained.
I wondered, back in the real world, what did Renée see of me? I did not know, but she would protect me as best she could. I could trust in her.
“Do you know where you are?” He spun around in front of me pointing at the trees, flowers, and up at the full moon.
“I suspect you will tell me.”
He appeared next to me in a blink of an eye and his snout was only inches from my face. He had pinned both my arms behind my back with only one hand.
“Do not push me, my dear.” He snipped at me and saliva dripped off his long lagging tongue. “I want to show you something secret of mine.”
I had not seen him in such a mood before. He seemed somewhat pensive and reminiscent. I kept quiet and relaxed in his grip. Maybe I could learn more and find out how to escape from him.
He let me go and walked toward a path in the woods. “Follow me, if you please.”
I did so, and we walked along a trail. In the distance, I saw fireflies twinkling in the trees and could smell the fresh scents of summer. I guessed that we were back in my homeland, but maybe I just wished for what was not true. I could not be certain.
Up ahead I could see a cabin and lanterns on the porch. Sitting there in a chair was a woman. She wore her hair long, and her white nightgown nearly glowed in the moonlight. My heart beat faster, and I walked quickly along the path. As we came closer to the cabin, she looked up and smiled full, open and true. I ran up to her, incredulous, and went to embrace her, but she turned away and I realized that her smile was not for me.
She ran past me and threw herself into the awaiting arms of the Silver Fox.
“Mother?” I did not know what else to say.
She ignored me as the Silver Fox held her in his arms a long moment. When he pulled away, she grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the cabin. He followed her, and I watched them. A couple in love, laughing at the simplest of remarks, and yet serious about the world.
I followed them inside the cabin and I wondered. Where could we be? From how my mother acted, she could not see me, and the Silver Fox had forgotten my existence. His attention never wavered from my mother, and he listened attentively to her stories. Together they sat down on the grass outside, and he held her in his arms. They stared up at the light from the full moon and the brighter stars, and I could see, little by little, the sky start to change color.
“Can you not stay with me?” I almost did not recognize the Silver Fox’s voice. He held her in his arms and, with his magic, caused the fireflies to twinkle overhead.
“It is almost morning and I must go back.” She tickled him under his chin and I realized that his handsomeness was complete for her. His appearance had been altered and he appeared fully human.
I sat against a tree near them and watched. I had never seen my mother act this way with my father and the Silver Fox seemed equally enchanted.
They looked up at the brightening sky, and she kissed him one last time and stood. Her left arm glowed in bluish light. She waved at an imaginary spot in the air and a crack appeared.
“I love you, my dear. Be good until I return!” She blew him a kiss and jumped toward the opening before her.
“Until tomorrow night, my love.” The Silver Fox grabbed her hands but she laughed and pulled away through the crack. In an instant, she vanished and the doorway closed.
I came out of the shadows and sat next to the fox. He ignored me, staring up at the brightening sky. We spoke not a word until the sky was filled with the sun’s bright, morning light.
“Did you love my mother?” I asked the question without thinking.
He thought a moment and answered with a nod and whispered, “Yes, I did. I do.”
He glanced back toward the closed doorway and then jumped up, heading away from the house.
“Can you show me more of her?”
He ignored me and kept walking.
“Please.”
He stopped and waved, urging me to follow him. I turned back to the cabin and began walking the opposite way toward the house.
“Where are you going?” He had stopped walking and I could hear anger in his tone.
“Stop.” He rushed past me and put his arm up. “I command you to stop.”
I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the door. “No, let us go inside.”
He allowed himself to be pulled in and everything had changed. A light rain fell outside, and the morning had been replaced by a gloomy afternoon. He pulled out of my grip, yet I could see the fear in his eyes.
“When are we?” I tried to look around for some useful bit of knowledge but I only found quiet.
The Silver Fox stood in the center of the room and his demeanor had changed. “Leave me alone.” He pushed me away and stood still, seemingly paralyzed.
Around the cabin, I saw tiny mementos of my mother’s love for him. Several sketches and oil paintings rested against the wall. The room was disheveled and unkempt. I walked toward the far door and he yelled, “Don’t go in there. Don’t, please!”
I needed to try. I opened the door and walked through the entryway and the dream world shifted yet again. Attracted and pulled to the room, the Silver Fox followed with his hands crunched up against his mouth and fear in his eyes. The room we entered was pure white. The walls, bed, sheets, and my mother rested in bed wearing white. Her face pale, and the light in her eyes dim. She reached toward him, “Come to me.”
He pushed past me and I could see tears in his eyes. Kneeling beside her bed, he took her hand and kissed it. “Don’t go.”
She began to cry, and the tears streamed down her face. I stood there watching my mother, in a dream within a dream, and she took his hand and kissed it. His face broke, opening in pain, the fox winning, becoming an animal in his grief. His voice was hard and thick from crying. “I will save you. I will draw up the mountains and we will flee in the sunlight. I will. I will. I will it to be so.”
From his eyes and hands, the colors of the rainbow poured out in utter contempt for death. Yet I fell back against the wall, from his display of power, and I could see the light in her eyes fading. She pulled at both his hands and placed them on her womb. “Foxglove, I am so sorry.” Her voice broke and she sobbed. “I love you.”
The Silver Fox felt for life, and he held her hands, tightly. His eyes closed, he mouthed words I could not hear into my mother’s ear, being private and true. His wild magic streamed out of him, building, gathering strength, and time stopped.
He turned to me, reaching out, “Please! This is why I need you. You can change all this. You can bring your mother back and save your sister. Use your gift to help us!”
He had tricked me and finally I understood his tests. I stood there watching my mother’s life fade before me and remembered how she had died in our world. A fever had taken her. I had not known that her spirit had traveled to the Land of the Fey each night to be with her fox and that she was pregnant with his child.
The Silver Fox squeezed my hand and pulled me closer and begged, “Please, help them!”
“But how?” The words fumbled out of my mouth and I watched as my mother’s eyes began to close. I would need to decide now.
“There is only one way.” He grabbed at me and put his hand on my belly. “Before she fades, you must sacrifice Phoebe’s spirit to save your unborn sister. A life for a life! With your magic, you can replace the fey part of your unborn sister with your daughter’s spirit. Then your mother won’t die and your sister will also be saved. Phoebe will live on in your sister. Please, trust me, it is the only way!”
The horror of what he asked seeped into me and though I longed to hold my mother again and to see her alive, I could never do so at such a cost. I voiced no words but he saw my face and knew my answer. His desperation rose and he let go of my mother’s hand and held me close. “Do this for me!”
- Writer
