January: The New Year
486 Words
January: The New Year
January 2
The Silver Fox is gone. I have unshackled myself from my prince, the king and his queen, and I am adrift in a new land. I am a woman and have discovered my power. It is my purest hope and wish that I will be able to raise you and that I will be with you as you grow, learning your words and of your magic. I look back on my journey and how foolish I have been, stumbling along the road not knowing where I should go, what I should do, or who I was.
Now begins my new journey. If I could tell you anything, as your mother, I think it would be this: “Find your own way. Do not listen to me.”
Maybe I am too sentimental and have time on my hands, but there it is. I looked out across the land and I see all that it has to offer and teach me. I am new and awake and alive. Renée and I will stay the winter in this area, using the encampment as our home. When you are born, I will care for you and then, in the spring, we will leave on a wagon and head west to see all of America and her beauty. The strength of this land will draw me to new heights and of the past, all can be undone. If I but believe and let go, anything is possible. My mother loved me and yet at night she lived with the Silver Fox in the Land of the Fey. She had both worlds and yet reached too high, and in doing so, lost all.
I cannot make more sense out of what she did, but I realize that all is possible. The simplest and most important secret of all I have discovered is simply this: I have traveled long and far, losing my way looking for acceptance in others, whereas I only need to accept and love myself. No one else could rescue me. Only I have such power.
My prince never did save me. Neither did Henri. Nor did anyone else. I feel reborn and new. Alive for the first time with a bright and fresh smile on my face. I will go now. Close this part of my book, not forever, not for good, but for now. The words I need to see are out there in the world. The love I need to grow is out among the connections and people I shall meet. Yet inside, in my heart, I am found. I am no longer Cinderella, the maid who cleaned the floors and was whisked to the castle by magic and her prince. No, that chapter of my life is over. I am your mother. I am Sophia. Finally, I am no longer lost but am found.
I will see you soon. I love you. I love you. I love you.
- Writer
