June-9
1082 Words
“We have our understanding then. Go see your Henri and talk with him. Tomorrow let your journey begin.”
The queen dismissed us, and with quickness we left her private chamber. I now had more questions than answers, yet I made straight for Henri. Though I feared for his safety, I learned that my concerns were unfounded, as he had a room of his own and was not in chains. Renée begged fatigue and went to her room. The queen’s assistant led me to my love.
When I entered his room, he lay on the floor, reading a book. He did not see me, and I watched him silently. The attendant left me, and I held back for a moment, looking at him, wondering what I would say and the words that I would speak. I had much to tell him, and my mind could not comprehend his response.
After some time, he sensed me, turned around, and a look of confusion crossed his face. Then he smiled and tossed the book aside to come and embrace me with much warmth. I embraced him, and he kissed me.
“Are you in good spirits and are being treated well?” I held him close.
“Yes, the queen has been good to me, and I am of good spirits.” He looked at me and asked, “Why have you come home? I was told that you had chosen to travel through my country with the witch to learn her ways.”
Fairy Godmother, my strength left me. He did not know that I was with child. The queen had remained quiet. All of my fears of him being harmed were not true. I stared into his eyes and I wanted him to love and choose to be with me. Yet my understanding with the queen held firm in my mind, and as I had only known that I was with child for such a short amount of time, I had not the courage to tell him my state and that he was the father of our child. I was a coward and feared his rejecting me.
Instead, I said, “I have come to collect some personal items for my trip with Renée.” I released him and told him part of the truth. “I will return in several weeks and hope you will wait for me.”
He smiled. “I am enjoying myself here as I learn of your English ways.” He picked up the book he had been reading and placed it on a table. “Your queen has been kind to me, and Clarissa has helped to show me your ways. She is a good friend.”
“Clarissa has been my constant companion the years I have lived here, and I trust her beyond words.” I folded my hands over my belly and had thoughts to tell him that I was pregnant, but again I remained silent.
“Yes, she is of good comfort and I enjoy her company.”
He turned from me, and a thought rushed through to me. “Are you my friend?”
“Bien sûr!” He laughed and the sound of his voice calmed me.
“When I return, I long to spend time with you.”
“We will walk the gardens here, talk of poetry, and be as before.” He bounded off and pulled a book from a shelf. “I have already begun a new epic poem that I will share with you.”
“Where is your lute?” I saw no sight of it in his chamber.
“In your country, I am learning that poetry is more respected and I have chosen to study and write.”
He showed me his book, and his charm was infectious. Our conversation was pleasant and light. Neither the queen nor the prince had informed him of my state, and I had time yet to talk with Renée and ask her for her advice. I turned my mind toward the convocation of witches and my impending journey. Renée had her reasons, but I suspect she wanted me close with her on the journey, for then we would plan my future. The doors to my happiness would remain open, for I suspected that the queen and prince would accept my child as of royal blood if I maintained my silence. My husband would do as he wished with the women of his choice, and Henri could be my lover here at the castle. We would raise an heir to the throne, and all would be stable and of comfort.
The queen’s compromise and understanding did leave me more at ease with the concerns that had weighed heavy on my mind. Tomorrow Renée and I would leave this castle, and I would have time to reflect on my future and that of my child’s. My lack of will to tell Henri the truth weighs on me. I continue to be afraid that I will lose him if I tell him my condition. I must rest now as it is late and we leave early tomorrow. I pray to see you soon.
Dear Cinderella,
I am here now, and we are close to being reunited. The wall that separates us is thin and I have seen you in your room, writing and crying from your hurt. If I could embrace you and take away your suffering, I would, because what you write in your diary is tamer than what you experience and feel. I see that you are strong and filled with a desire to help others. The path you are to tread is one of which you must be certain. I cannot tell you more, as the enemy blocks me from you. The energy that surrounds you is restraining me from helping you. I cannot break through on my own, and I ask only this of you: Release your mind of rational thought and allow your heart to rule.
Be careful on your journey, and I will remain patient, waiting for the time that I can see you. My magic cannot cross the frontier before me but I will help you as soon as I can. My gifts to you now are my words of comfort. The hurt you feel, I can feel. I know you long for him to come to you, to show you he loves you, and I admire your choice to remain quiet about your child.
We cannot see the future. But if Henri does not stand by you and your child, then I will. I will not desert you. I will be with you through to the end. You must trust me. Allow yourself to feel. Your emotions will unlock the door between us.
Yours,
The Faerie Godmother
- Writer
