Cinderella's Secret Witch Diaries Box Set: Lost, Stolen, Found

October Redux-2

“Are you okay?” I did not know that she had been near me. She rubbed my hands and arms as I shivered without control.

I shook my head, unable to speak. His voice drifted away, and I tried to speak. I tried to say, “I saw him. I saw him.”

Renée pulled forth her magic, shielding us, and she moved quickly, getting me to my feet. “Did you see the Silver Fox?”

“Yes. Yes, I did.”

“What did he say?” Renée shouldered most of my weight and began half walking and half running us back to our cabin.

“He told me he is coming for me.” My teeth chattered and I tried to say it again. “The Silver Fox is coming for me.”

October 13

I have had some time to sleep, and Renée has been my constant companion. Our time in America has been short, and there is much to do, but with the fox after me, I chose to rest today. I do not often like to be pampered, but I stayed in bed most of the day. Late in the afternoon we talked about what had happened. I told her everything. I held nothing back, as I thought every bit of information she had would be useful. Maybe she could help me understand. When I finished, she grabbed our container of salt and she made a circle around each of our beds. We would need more. She worked fast, pulling our small beds close together in the center of the small cabin and then put the salt down. From her frantic movements, I could see she was frightened. For a woman who had stood up to the queen and held her and all of her guards back with a word, she was so afraid, and I worried.

My magic is sound and strong, yet wild. I do not fully understand the power I have, and need practice and temperament, but now I do not have time on my side. He is coming for me. His presence is so strong and pervasive, flowing into me like water over the falls. He cannot be stopped.

When I look around while sitting on a chair in front of our cabin, I see a few men tend a fire, roasting some nuts. I can smell their flavor wafting my way. There is a chill in the air, as the season is changing, becoming colder at night. We are given food, have shelter, and the few other women here have shown us where to wash our clothes by the stream, and helped us by giving us freshly baked bread. We are starting to adapt to our life here as we plan what to do.

But I am afraid. We plan to head to another town, yet surely the fox will follow us. I suspect the glass slippers call to him no matter where we go. Renée and I talked as much as we could for today, and she is preparing our dinner as I write this. You will like her. She is a good woman. She loves fiercely and strong, not afraid to voice her opinions and to defend what she believes is right. Often she is quiet, watching yet not judging. She is wise as I would like to be one day. I can see why my mother loved her. I would have liked to have seen them together.

But it will be dark soon and I should stop writing. I am finding it hard to see in the fading light. I fear the oncoming night, for I wonder when the Silver Fox will return for me. Yet I long to write some more so that I can capture how I feel at this time. This day. This moment in time in which I had stepped out of the Land of the Fey back into this world. There’s always such a joy that I feel in being aware that at this moment I can be open and free. No one can stop me from writing these words. The power that I have fills me with such joy as I just sit and let my mind wander. I have seen so much and sometimes, just sometimes, I like to enjoy life.

So much time has passed, and yet it hasn’t. So much has changed, and yet it hasn’t. Have I learned anything after all this time? I have learned that people are matchsticks that can be pushed and pulled and manipulated in, oh, so many ways. My little Cinder girl. Now that I am here there is so much to be seen and for me to do. You are filled with such knowledge and power but you have so much yet to learn. You are a young blossom, having seen the first light of day. With dew drops on your petals, you stumble out into the morning.

But I have come and I am in you. You are mine. I will dance with your limbs, frolicking in the light, swaying to the sound of the animals who sing for my delight. I will call forth and use your velvety voice and the long, blond hair that sways and blows in the soft, soft wind. Yet tonight, you are mine. I will take pleasure in you and having returned.

Write, write, write. All you want. You cannot escape me. I have come! Who am I? Who am I? Let me sing and tell you of my story. I am a king of the past and the future. Some have called me Lucifer (that Milton wrote me such a wonderful tale), Donatien Alphonse François, or, as you might know him, Marquis de Sade. (Oh, I must digress as his mind is such a wonderful, tortured labyrinth of desire. I must visit him again soon. Maybe later tonight I will see him and then come back to you with what I have learned.) I will show you. We will have such wonderful times together. You and I.

Have you guessed it yet? Do you know me? Do you? Will you sing, sing, sing of who I am in the summer night or the morning rain? I like to play. I have fun with the world and all playthings. I am the Silver Fox who came to your mother as a young man. She longed and called to me in her loneliness as your father twittered away the hours working on his trade. I heard her call, came to her and loved her. For I am the despair in the night, but am also not quite thgir.

You cannot escape me. Run, run, run. How far can you? Will you cry, cry, cry, and let me taste those little baby tears? It is too late for you, my dear. I have come! The Lord of foxes is here. I am here and I like you. You silvery thing. You little flit of a thing. My precious, pure woman. Let me see when you’re raw, begging at my feet. I’ll show you desire, ripped apart in time, with my spirit. No sense, no rhyme, my nosaer is all you’ll ever need. I have come. It is too late for I am here. I am you and you are me. I am in you. For I am the Silver Fox, born when the sun was new and to die long after the sun closes his eyes for good. I am the Lord of the Fey, commander of the legions of sprites, pixies, and faeries. Laughter and joy are my likes, but the spirits of War, Poverty, Pestilence, and Insanity are my toys. Watch out, my gorgeous little thing! Watch out because I am here.

October 17

I am frightened. When I read my last entry, I ran to Renée, as I did not know what to do. I had no recollection of having written the passage. I stayed away from writing for the past few days because I needed to gather myself. Renée used a cleansing spell on me, and she could not detect any sign of him within me. He had gone. But I know he will return. The Silver Fox has come and gained control of me without my knowing. Renée has been teaching me as much protective magic as she can, and she is surrounding me with layers of natural protection. Salts and garlic and wards are all throughout our little home. But I know the truth—he will not be stopped. When he decides to come back for me, will I be ready? I detect no essence of him within me and I have read what he wrote through me several times, and I am afraid.

Renée has warned me that his power can break me easily, and she fears that I do not have the strength to stand up to him. At first, I was so scared, walking around wondering if I would lose my mind. The first night after he had come to me I went to sleep and had the oddest dream. I was lying in bed, and I turned over to see a beautiful young woman in my bed. Her eyes were a brilliant green, and the light from the morning sun shone on her face. Her eyes glowed with such brilliance, and I found solace in her. I realized that it was you, my beautiful and wonderful daughter. I am your mother, and your name came to me in that dream. I pulled you close and I kissed you on your forehead. Phoebe. Radiant and light. You looked to be all grown up in my dream, and I do not know how I recognized you, but I had met you for the first time, and a solidness formed around me. A wall of diamond that encircled us. As your mother, I needed to keep him away from you, and would need to protect you from harm.

My fear vanished, and in the dream I clothed myself with weaponry and power. I would not surrender without a fight, but how was I to know how to fight the enemy within? He had no physical form that I could see or interact with. He skipped through people, using and leaving us like discarded clothes. A shifter of personalities and sexes, that can come and go as he pleases.

I have come so far to be who I am. I will not be swayed or stopped. I realize that I am only one and that my strength is not enough to withstand the Fey Lord. But I must try. I know I need help, and Renée and I have begun enacting our plan. I do not know if it will work, but I am afraid that resistance itself is my only weapon. And for how long I can resist, I do not know.

Renée is calling me, and I must go. There is work to do.

October 19

After dinner tonight, I started to clean up and I felt an odd sensation within me. Mary, one of the women in the encampment, came over and asked if I felt sick. I sat back down at the table and felt it again. I put my hand over my belly and then she smiled.

“Did the baby move?” She put her hand on my shoulder.

“Yes, I felt a flutter inside.” I put both hands on my belly and rubbed it.

I had felt you for the first time. My little Phoebe to be born of brilliance and light! I have been very busy for the last week, as there have been many preparations to be made. But tonight I sat down and wondered at the life within me. You fluttered around within me, alive with strength and purpose. I realized now that the home I would build for us would be needed in only a few months. Winter would be coming. The men in the encampment would be moving south to a warmer climate, and Renée and I would go with them.