Cinderella's Secret Witch Diaries Box Set: Lost, Stolen, Found

February-2

Faerie Godmother

February 15

You wrote to me again! I am so pleased, for each day I wake hoping to see another magical note from you in my diary. I want to see you and wonder how that can come to be as I do not know where you are. Are you far away from this land, and do you use your magic to see me here? I long to know more, for I miss you and hope that you are well. When you write me next, I implore you to tell me how we can be in each other’s company once again.

I have much to share with you. My mind wanders to the divergence ahead for the prince and me. I see us as walking separate paths, and I do not know if I am prepared to accept the burden of that choice. With reflection, I am frightened and still beholden to my duty for what I should do. I will need Clarissa’s guidance and friendship to help me through the difficult times ahead.

As I write this, it is in the middle of the night. I am alone, and the quiet is soothing to me. While in this solitude, I am able to write in peace without any distractions from others or even my own doubts.

On the table to my left are my glass slippers. I prize those shoes above all else as they are a reminder to me that you did come to help me and that your magic is solid and true. When you came to assist me, you asked that I gather a pumpkin, mice, and lizards. I followed your instructions, and with your magic you turned the pumpkin into my carriage, the mice into horses, and the lizards into footmen. You then waved your hands around me and turned my dirty clothes into a beautiful gown with the most wondrous jewels. But then you gave me the glass slippers etched with small wildflowers. Their beauty bewildered me, and they remain after all these years. Before I went to the castle that momentous night, you had me promise that I would return by midnight, and as I rushed away from the ball everything turned back to what it was before, but not the slippers. They remained.

The famous story of how the prince found one of my glass slippers and had all the ladies try it on is now so engrained in the folklore of the town that even little children know of it. Yet many do not recall that I had the second glass slipper. I kept it as a reminder of you and on the day that the prince came to my father’s home, he asked that we all try the glass slipper on. When I did, it fit perfectly, and I pulled its mate out of my pocket and showed it to him. The amazement on his face is hard to forget. I could not tell then if he was upset or just surprised, but now I know that he had thought I was special and would marry me to show his friends and mother what a great match he had found on his own.

Initially, I think he was taken aback at my rags, but the magic surrounding the story won him over. He heard the rumors of the fairy and the powerful spells that changed my clothes, and he warmed to that mystique. I think he wanted your magic to also grace his life, choosing me not so much for love but for my connection to such wonderment. I do not mind all of that now. Too much time has passed, and yet the glass slippers still remain. Why they have not turned into dust or disappeared I do not know, and do not question. I have not the chance to thank you in person for the gift, yet I shall write my thanks here now. Thank you, my dear Fairy Godmother, for a gift that has helped me through my struggles. They fit just as well now as they did then, and, on occasion, I wear them to special balls and amaze the attendees, for they also expected the glass slippers to disappear or to wear or break.

I have examined the shoes closely over the years, running my fingers over the etched flowers and the small fox that looks to be frolicking in the flowers. Often when I am in distress, I gather them in my arms and trace the flowers with my fingers, feeling the grooves with my fingers, and, maybe it is my imagination, but I feel warmth and energy in the shoes. They always cheer me up when I am sad or lonely and afraid. Holding the shoes and feeling the touch of them on my skin brings me a sense of completeness that warms my heart. Over the years I have tried to lend them to people, but they simply do not fit. Even my dearest Clarissa cannot wear them, and we share shoes and clothing all through the year. She is unable to wear them, as they simply do not fit.

I do not know what magic you put into these slippers, but I thank you. Fairy and goodness and godmother to me, I wish I knew more about you. I wish I could learn more about who you really are. I have talked to my friends, stepmother, and stepsisters, but they know nothing of you.

I sit here in the warmth of a fire in the middle of winter, and I look at the glass slippers. I can see the fire reflecting in them and I can touch them. They are real. They are a symbol of what you once gave to me. They remain. Solid and true and lasting.

To sleep now, I must go as it will be light soon. I need to ponder your question and put into action my plan, for Paris awaits. Thank you for all you have done for me. I pray you are well and we will be reconciled soon. Good night!

February 21

Dear Fairy Godmother,

The queen now knows that I wish to speak with her, and I hope to have an audience with her soon. Although I am her son’s wife, my status does not allow for me to speak with her at a time of my choosing. Rather, I have placed the proper request, and patient I must now be. When I shall be called to speak with her, I do not know. I hope and pray it will be soon.

Clarissa is here for me. I am telling her that I am coming. I need to go. I will be back. I promise.

Late in the day on February 21

The sun has risen, and we have only just returned from the midwinter ball. Clarissa had asked that I attend with her because she wanted to help enliven my spirits. It is true that I have been especially low of late. She knew, too, that the prince would perform one or two obligatory dances and then sit at a table in a far corner and talk with his friends, drinking until the ball ended.

Tonight, I danced to forget my woes, hoping that the music would transport me to another state of mind. I have seen with my own eyes how easy losing one’s self to the music, food, and drink can be, as many forget to return. I could do the same easily and forget all my dreams and just live for those moments. I have seen many other young women of court lose their way, become lost with their men on the side, their drinking, or their lust for jewels and wealth. I believe that my heart is true and that I have not yet lost my way, for I remember what I still want out of life.

There is an ache in my heart and I know that my destiny is open and filled with purpose, but as to what that purpose is, I have not yet discovered. I hear a calling to travel to France. I feel compelled to go there. If I want to go to France with Clarissa, I need to convince the queen or my entire plan will fall apart. I await the queen to call upon me, and I shall see if my hope will come to fruition.

Now I must to bed as I need to rest. Good night.

February 27

The queen has yet to answer my request to speak with her, but I have been forced to talk with the prince about my desire to visit France. After dinner, he came to me and we shared enough pleasantries to be friendly. He walked with me and said, “You have recovered well from the sickness.”

I nodded and replied, “I have been well for weeks now. Thank you.”

He appeared agitated as he paced back and forth in my room. “I must be frank with you.”

His sudden forthrightness surprised me. “Of course, my lord.”

“I hear rumor that you wish to travel to France in the spring.” He stopped pacing and faced me. “Is this true?”

I wondered how he had learned of my desire, but Clarissa and I have openly spoken of the topic, so rumors would have spread. “Yes, I would.”

He remained silent for a time and then said, “I would enjoy taking you to Paris. I truly would.” I thought his emotion honest and open. However, he continued. “But I cannot.”

He face turned red and blotches appeared on his neck. I did not correctly read why he was upset. I simply blundered onward and asked, “Why are you unable to take a party to Paris? You are the prince.”

I could see him bite his tongue, but I still did not know what had bothered him so much.

He turned away from me and walked toward a window to stare out at the darkness.

Instead of remaining quiet, I pushed onward. “I do not understand. Why are you not able to go?”

“Why?” He spun around, and I could see a sudden red rage in his face. “I, too, have wanted to go to France this summer, but my father commanded me not to go.”

In puzzlement, I stood confused. I did not understand.

“Will you not share your mind with me?” I asked.

“The king is afraid for his precious throne. Rumors from the mainland reached us months ago. Napoleon Bonaparte rises to power in France. It is said that he dreams of ruling the world, and he is no friend to England.”

I felt ignorant and reduced as an insignificant insect lost in a vast world. In my grand plans, I had not thought about world governments and politics. I only wanted to go see the beautiful city of Paris and to have fun with Clarissa.

The prince could see that I had been ignorant of France’s internal politics, and he did not let it go. He laughed at me. “You are thinking of your precious balls and the great time you would have in Paris while I went hunting and stayed out of your way. Do you think I cannot see through you? We are married long enough for me to know your schemes.”

Anger welled up inside of me, and I could not silence myself. “Do not talk that way to me. I am your wife and princess to the realm.”

He laughed harder. “Princess,” the acid in his voice dripped with sarcasm, “I have been very patient. You have produced no heir to me and now you try to order me around?”

He picked up a gaming billiard on a table and threw it against the wall and it ricocheted in the opposite direction. “I am tired of being told what to do.”

And he left. I stayed seated for quite some time and did not know what to do. He had never expressed to me such fury before. I had pushed him too far. I do not know where he went, but I was certain that he did not wish for me to come after him. I left him alone and worried how the future would unfold. Could he be rid of me? I had no knowledge of the law and of his duty and responsibility. Could he pick another woman to be his wife so that he could produce an heir if I was barren? What would then become of me?

My fears have piled upon themselves, and I have spun myself into a dreadful fit of insecurity. My plans have dissolved into nothingness before my eyes, and I am worried. I do not even know where to begin. Let me settle myself for a moment. Oh, Fairy Godmother, I feel trapped, and for the first time I am aware of the full magnitude of my problems.

I have not been able to see Clarissa because she is away with her father visiting cousins. She will not be back for another week. I wish Clarissa were here. I want to talk with her. She would help me. She would know what to do. I am so tired, confused, and my mind is full of troublesome thoughts. I am spinning in circles, and I want this all to go away.