Cinderella's Secret Witch Diaries Box Set: Lost, Stolen, Found

March

March

March 4

I am more at peace now. I want to write about what I have done before all of my memories fade away. I am here in my room now, and it has been some time since the prince and I last talked. We have not seen each other since our disagreement. He has left the castle and I do not know where he travels.

At a loss about what to do, I went to church and I knelt down and prayed to you. I prayed that you would come find me and rescue me. It is the same old prayer and story. I am not ashamed to admit that I cried. I was alone and no one saw me. I prayed and no answer came. I have begged you to come to me, but you do not. You have written to me and given me some advice, but I have not heard from the queen. She will not see me, and I do not know why.

When I left the small church, I went out into the forest at night. If you were not to come to me, then I would try to find you. I have heard all the stories of the fairies that live in the woods. Stories parents tell their children to explain why milk curdles and meat spoils. I gathered a small pack and went off in the night to search of you. The guards know my ways by now, and they would have stopped me, but a few years ago Clarissa showed me a secret way out of the castle. It is not the most comfortable of paths, but I can avoid being seen if I use it. The journey through the now-defunct moat is the worst part, but even that is not too demanding. The way is tricky, to be sure, but not impossible.

Once out of the castle, I could see a waning moon, one or two days past full, hanging high in the sky. It was not too cold, just a touch of chill in the air. The light from the moon was enough to guide my way so that I could find the path to the forest. There is a trail that leads through the woods, and I have been through the forest before, during the daylight. But the rumors and stories say that in the dark, after midnight, the fey come out to do their mischief or to help those in need.

I stood at the edge of the woods and I stopped, for I was afraid. I admit it. I turned around and could hear no one behind me. I did not fear that any wild animal would attack me, but I was still afraid. I truly did not know who or what I might encounter in the woods so late at night. Clarissa might have danced into the woods, as she is such an adventurous soul. Me, I was afraid. I did not know if I were more afraid of what I would find or that I would not find anything. It was possible that I could simply go through the forest and come out cold and tired. But there was a moment of possibility in which I imagined what would happen if I were to find you, to see you in your element, and to find a way to connect with you. That insane bit of hope burned inside my mind and warmed me. I could have stood there, at the edge, for a long, long time, relieved in my hopes. I so wanted for everything to become revealed to me so that I could understand where I needed to go and what I should do in life.

In the dim moonlight, I could see some buds of flowers coming up out of the dirt by the side of the trail, and the path ahead looked clear and somewhat used. I took a step forward and then, after some time, another.

I clenched my hands at my side and walked ahead, hoping that I would find my salvation inside the forest. I felt colder in going into the woods, but maybe that was just my fear. Although my path was covered by trees, the light of the moon allowed me to see, and a light wind was all I could hear. All around me were trees and undergrowth, but I did not sense any danger. I was more frightened than I think I had ever been before. I was surrounded by darkness, and there were no animals or creatures stirring in the night, but I sensed that something was watching me. Maybe it was just my fear speaking to me, and I kept shivering, so I walked onward, not knowing what to expect.

I had never been far from home. In truth, I had never left the town in which I was born. We moved after my mother died but it was only from one part of our town to another. After the prince married me, I moved into the castle, yet I still have not been out of town. The trail that I took led north, onward to the capital. How many people had ridden in carriages on the path that I now walked? More than I would ever know. It was not unusual for people to come to our town, but when my friends and I were growing up, the woods were enchanted with faeries, and the trees spoke the language of magic. I walked onward with purpose and increased my pace, afraid to stop, for I was certain that some creature out of my darkest imagination would grab at my ankles and pull me deep into the earth.

I do not know how long and far I walked, but after some time I realized the folly of my plan. I had no food, water, clothes, or a lantern. Alone and in the woods, any band of thieves or gypsies could find me and I would be regretting my decision to explore the woods in the dark of night in the tail end of winter. I must admit now, in looking back, that I made a poor choice. I could have easily fallen and hurt myself in the dark and, alone, I would not have been heard calling for help. Or, if I were heard, I doubt it would be someone wanting to help me.

The trail before me continued, and behind there was only darkness. My trail had no end in sight, and I was leaving all I knew to chase after a dream of finding you. I was alone. Suddenly, I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye, and turned. A fox, looking silver in the moonlight, ran across the trail. It stopped for a moment to peer at me, its tongue hanging out as it panted, and then it rushed on its way.

The night had turned colder and I stopped. I could hear water nearby. Running water such as what would come from a small creek. To my left, I could see a small branch of the trail that headed off toward the sound of the running water. I had only a small amount of courage left within. If I did not go to look at the water, I would regret my midnight excursion, and all would be in vain. Yet if I went forward, I thought I would make a good compromise between my fear and the foolish bravery I exhibited. I had walked a while and found nothing. If I looked out at the water and saw no faeries or water sprites, then I could turn around and head back to the comfort of the castle.

I followed the path and the sound of running water became louder. Up ahead, the trees cleared, and I saw a small creek that was maybe four horses in width across. The water flowed quickly, and off in the distance was the gentle sound of a small falls. The moonlight shone across the water, which splashed over the rocks. Nothing else moved. I saw no other animals or sign of any people and, for a moment, I crouched down and just stared out at the water. I was happy. Yes, I was cold, but I was enjoying the solitude and, I do not know why, but I had an idea. I walked down the small embankment, careful not to slip and fall on the rocks, and I knelt by the edge of the creek. I took the pack off my back and opened it up. Inside my glass slippers reflected the beauty of the moonlight. I held them in my right hand and carefully dipped my fingers into the cold creek. I waited and nothing happened. Then, to be certain, I stood up and took off my boots and put on the glass slippers. I stood up and put my arms out and up at the moon and … nothing happened.

I closed my eyes and focused. I felt foolish. I opened my eyes, and to my right I saw the fox again. He looked at me, so close now, watching me with a curious look on his face. He stared a moment, made a noise that sounded a bit like laughter, and then rushed off into the night. I suspect if there were someone watching me then he would have done the same and laughed with much merriment, as I must have appeared to be a fool. A princess, alone in the night, standing on the edge of a creek with glass slippers on, praying up at the moon to her Fairy Godmother.

I put my arms down, changed back into my boots, and took one last long look at the creek at night. I closed my eyes, and I called out to you, and then I did something I am a bit ashamed to write about, but it is late and I need to write it. I called out to you with all my voice, asking for help. I do not know what words I used, but I called out, praying that you would hear and answer me. Or that one of the elite faerie guards would fly down and land on my nose, wondering why I put such a loud noise to voice.

I closed my eyes and cried, and then pounded the side of my fist into a tree. It felt good to release my anger. After a while, I stopped, put my slippers away, and then headed back to the castle. I heard no one on the way back. No fox disturbed me. All was quiet, and I snuck back through the moat and the secret door, and came to my bed chamber. It is very late, and in another hour the kitchen staff will begin lighting the fire for the day, and preparation for the morning meal will begin.

I have already decided that I will feign fatigue, sleep late, and forget about my problems and the world. Tonight I truly thought that the faeries or you, my Fairy Godmother, would come to me and I would be swept away in a river of light and magic. Music would fill the air, and lights from all the colors of the rainbow would shine around me like a midday summer sun during an outdoor festival, but none of that happened. Worse, I think I made a fool of myself, and am alone. I will think on whether I will tell Clarissa of my stupidity and what I have done.

What I truly do not understand is that I have, at times, felt the magic within the glass slippers. Why did they not speak for me? I put all my thoughts and energy into calling out to you, but there was nothing. No reply. The hope that lives within me is telling me that in the winter the faeries do not live in the woods but that they will be back in the summertime. And the more I think on this, the more I am ashamed at what I am asking, for there is no sense in it.

You have written to me, but when I need you the most you have not answered. Does something prevent you from reaching me? I have done as you have asked and have freed my mind. I have spoken with the prince, but he denies me, and I have tried to see the queen, but she will not allow it. Please, help me.

March 24

Much has happened, and I am not sure where I should start the story. If you had a hand in making my dream come true, I thank you so. I will be packing for Paris later today and will be on the road by tomorrow. I am amazed at how fast events have transpired.

Several days after I last wrote, the queen summoned me to her chamber after dinner. My long wait to speak with her had reached its conclusion. Surprisingly, she invited me to her private chamber. When I entered, she waved her attendants away and walked around the room, comparing different swaths of cloth to a dress by a table. She was without her wig and makeup, and I had never seen such an intimate side of the queen before. I must admit that I would not have recognized her. She muttered to herself and glanced over at me and then said, “Which pattern do you like best?”

I approached her and curtsied low, looking at the pieces of material in her hand. “I like the blue one.” She handed me the cloth. I held it in my hands and was impressed with the pattern’s simplicity and smoothness.

“I like that color, too.” She went about her business, putting away the pattern samples and then sat in her chair. “My son is off again, I hear.”

I remained quiet for a few moments, unsure of how to answer and then replied, “Your Majesty, I believe it is my fault.”

She laughed. “My son is often upset these days, and I doubt you are solely to blame.” She poured her own cup of tea and motioned for me to have some. I accepted, oddly unsure why the queen served me.

“If my sources are true, I hear that your argument with my son centers around your desire to visit Paris this spring. Is that correct?”

I was hesitant to reply.

She put her tea cup down and looked me up and down. “Do you mind if I am frank with you?” She did not wait for me to respond. “You are important to me because you can bear the heir to the throne. If you work with me, then I will support you. Understood?”

I nodded, at a loss for words.

“Now tell me, am I correct that you and my son argued about your desire to visit Paris?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” I had not touched my cup of tea yet as my hands were too unsteady.

“It is as I expected then.” The queen took a look sip of tea and stared out the window, thinking. “I love my son. I truly do, but he would do better for us all if he were not so difficult. Would you not agree?”

I blushed and kept my eyes down as I suspected a verbal trap.

The queen smiled. “You are a wise woman to keep your feelings close about a mother’s son. I respect you for that.”

“Your Majesty?” The words escaped me before I could contain them.

“Finally, you speak up.” She c****d her eye at me and waited.

“If there is war between England and France, how can we go to Paris?”

“Before I answer that, will you make me a promise?”

I did not need to think long. I needed the queen’s help. “Yes, Your Majesty, I will listen to you and make a promise.”

“Good.” She walked over to me and put her hand on my shoulder. She had never touched me before, and I flinched in fear. She ignored my reaction and asked, “Will you go see a woman who lives in Paris? She will help you with your problem.”

“How can she help me?”

“Over the years I have sent other ladies to her and then they have been able to have children. She is known throughout Europe in the right circles. I only wish she lived in England.”

Fear remained foremost on my mind, and I was afraid to admit it to the queen. “Will it hurt?”

“No, you will only need to drink some potions several times a week.”

“Then, yes, I will promise to do what the woman says so that I can become pregnant.” I felt more at ease, as I had feared surgery or some heathen ritual.

Seeing my discomfort ease, the queen sat back down in her chair. “You are valuable to me because you are married to my son.” She stopped and then took me in with her gaze. “But if you ever are disloyal to him, I will not be forgiving.”

I made to stand up and leave and she put out her hand, motioning for me to stay seated. She had not finished with me. “When my son comes back to the fold, and he will soon, I will need for you to make peace with him, for having a child requires the two of you to be on speaking terms.”

“Your Majesty, I understand.” I kept my hands folded in my lap for fear she would see how frightened I was of her.

“Now you may retire for the evening.”

I stood, curtsied low, and left the room, backing toward the door as I had been taught to do. When I left, I hurried back to my room and have been writing since. I am filled with immense joy that my dream will be a reality, and it seems that I did not have to work hard to convince the queen because she had plans for me already. I am concerned, yet that is for me to worry about another day. I will read for a while before bed and then try to dream of the wonders of Paris. Bonne nuit!

Dear Cinderella,

My distance from you is the reason for my infrequent letters. You are my dearest and I love you more than you will ever know. The challenges are great to cast out my thoughts to you and have them appear here. I am off helping other women and will come back to you soon. You must have faith in me and trust when I tell you that I have never forgotten you.

I have not much strength left, but I must warn you before I go. The queen’s plan to send you to a woman she has heard about in France concerns me. You must avoid seeing her, for she is a witch of great power. Tread with caution because the queen is not to be fooled. If you ever trusted me in the past, now you must do so more than ever. Do not see that woman. I fear for your safety. Protect yourself from her powers. You must trust me. You must. I leave you now with the promise that I will write again as soon as I can.

Yours,

Faerie Godmother

March 27

I will need to devise a plan for how to avoid the promise that I made to the queen and the main reason for her agreeing to have me travel to France. Your words of warning concern me, and I wish we could speak our minds to each other so that I could better understand the reason behind your admonition. With your magic, you have helped me come very far, and I will not falter along the path. I will trust your counsel.

Earlier today Clarissa returned with wonderful news. She had visited her sick cousin, who is well again. She and I have spoken all through the long day about plans for France, and although the queen has not spoken her mind to me about who will travel to Paris with me, I assume that my dearest Clarissa will be chosen to attend me, as we are often together and the best of friends.

I have told her my story of meeting with the queen and of my promise to see the mysterious woman in France. Clarissa thinks that she might be a midwife who uses herbs and other natural remedies to aid women unable to bear children. I have remained silent about you. Clarissa and I are close friends, but I want to keep my relationship with you private for now. The secret that we share is a personal bond between us, and I desire to keep our correspondence solely between us, for now.

Clarissa is often judgmental, and I wish her not to color my fondness for you, as she would ask question upon question about why you were not by my side to help me. I can trust her, but I do not wish to reveal my thoughts to her yet. Rather, she and I talked about France and what might happen if I did drink the potions that the witch would give to me.

I have wanted to have a child for several years now. At first, I thought that a child would come naturally to the prince and me, but that was not so. Becoming a mother would be good for me. I am young, and will be able to love and teach my child much. I will be able to be a good mother and give my children what I did not have when I was a growing up. Yet after a few years of trying and failing, I have come to face the truth. I may not be able to have children. I have talked to local nannies and tried all sorts of remedies, but none have worked. I have prayed, begged, and hoped to be with child, but I am still childless. I fear that I am barren. I lost my mother at such a young age and had hoped that I would have a family of my own and that I could raise my children, loving them and showering them with my joy. I will not lie to you now, for I am tempted to see the witch and drink her potions because I long to have a child. However, I will not falter. I acknowledge your warning and will adhere to it.

Yet, if I am honest, I had hoped that a child would allow me to build a life away from the prince. My entrance into motherhood would require me to take on new responsibilities, and I could ignore the prince because raising our child would become my duty and day’s work. I have longed for such responsibilities, for I tire of the endless balls.

Now I will soon go to Paris to find my destiny. The queen wants me to visit a witch who will give me a fertility potion, whereas I wish to see the plays and hear the poems and take in the art of the city. If I visit not the witch, when you and I reunite, would you, with your magic, help me to have a child?

I cannot see how my future will unfold, but I understand that what is about to be set in motion will change my life forever. I will be going down a path that I must travel. I feel called to go to Paris. I do not know how else to describe it, but I have an urgent voice inside me, deep within, that is telling me to go. I do not know why. I think that maybe some wanderlust plays tricks on me, and this trip will bring me some much needed joy. I will see what I have not. Taste life beyond what I have here, but also experience something of the world. I am concerned for the future. I cannot deny my fear. Good night.