Chased by Bad Boys

Chapter 7: Facing Zosar

In the blink of an eye, we were already in Los Altos. During the five hour flight I managed to sleep while the guys kept themselves busy. After a good hour, we were out of the airport and well on our way to my home. As we passed through the security of my house compound, I felt nervous, anxious and so foreign. What once used to make me feel at home and warm felt simply foreign. Ahead of us stood a 2 storey gray mansion, a well kept garden lining the u-shaped driveway. As I stepped outside, Alistair was quick to get my luggage for me. I stood in front of the house entrance, deeply rooted and scared to go in and face a house without my mom.

Seeing me struggling, Casimir placed his large hand on my back. As he rubbed my back, I somehow calmed down and felt the strength to snap out of my trance. I just looked up to him, thankful for his comfort and smiled to him indicating that I was good. Without wanting to delay things anymore, I gathered my strength and bid my farewells to the boys and told them we would see each other soon. I had to promise to reply to their messages and calls so they could leave. Aziel was the last to get in the car and he just looked at me with so many emotions dancing in his eyes. He just nodded at me while smiling before getting in and the car set out in the direction of his house.

As I reached the for the knob, the door opened revealing a stressed Stan. “Miss Monifa…,” he whispered before engulfing me in a bear hug. Only Stan would call me by middle name. I remembered how I was so sad that nobody would ever call me by my middle name, I know silly five year old tantrums, and he made a deal with me that he would call me Monifa if I stopped crying. That stayed over the years. “I am so sorry for your loss. I know this must be hard for you and if there is anything you need, I am here,” he said as he stepped away from me. Stan was a man in his fifties, someone who was there from my birth all the way until now. This tall man with greying hair had been a pillar in my life, taught me how to ride a bicycle, drove me to school everyday, gave me advices, moral support and, more often than I wished, comforting hugs after a bad day of being bullied, and yet today I stood there feeling betrayed by him.

While I thought that my mother was only trying to give me a chance for a new start, away from the bullying, to develop to my full potential and grow stronger, she was also pushing me away to prevent me from seeing her suffer. I recalled the call I received from him two days ago:

“Hi Stan! I know you would be missing me but ten miscalls? Oh well, what can I do… I am that awesome, huh?”, I answered his call.

“Miss Monifa..,” his coarse voice did not sound confident and was even cracking. It felt heavy and it got me worried.

“What is Stan?! What’s wrong? Is mom okay? Anything happened home??” I urged him.

“Miss… I don’t know how to say this but your mother passed away during her surgery and…,” he answered.

After that I just zoned out and went blank, frozen in my steps as I was walking around the campus. Whatever he said after that I could not process. My world fell apart in that moment.

With my mouth still hanging open, other students were staring at me. At some point I snapped out of it to hear him say, “That’s why you need to come home. Should I take care of the arrangements?”

“Stan, I think I heard you wrong because I heard you say that my mother passed away and then I could not hear anything. I must have heard wrong, right? I mean it has only been couple of months since I left and I have been speaking to mom everyday and she never mentioned any surgery. What is going on Stan?,” I just rambled.

“I am really sorry that you have to learn about it this way. I always supported your family in everything and I could not go against madam’s wish. But she had been diagnosed with a terminal ovarian cancer. After a series of chemo sessions, she had to undergo a surgery, which she did not survive. The details were not clearly stated to us since we are not family but when you get here you could speak with her doctor to find out. I know this is a lot and you might be upset from this but your mother did this because she loved you. It was a hard decision for her to encourage you to go away but she did not want you to see her suffer anymore. She just wanted you to have another chance at happiness and hoped to be better without you seeing her struggle,” he told me.

That was a lot of information that just drove my mind in an overdrive. I just remember hanging up without saying anything and heading to my car to drive to nowhere specific which led me to the lighthouse beach.

As I snapped back to reality, I just stared at Stan with so many emotions inside of me, feeling hurt and betrayed, sad and disappointed for having been kept in the dark, angry at myself that I did not read further into the actions of my mom, but above all so sad that no matter what, it would not have made a difference of the outcome. I was sad for sure, angry by all means but I also knew he was not to be blamed for all of this so I just hugged him. “I know you are not the reason things are the way they are but I cannot help but feel helpless, as if I have been robbed of the chance of saying my goodbyes to my mom. I hope I find it in me to forgive you for that,” I said as I squeezed him and sobbed really hard in his shirt.

As he patted my head, trying to appease my sobs, I heard someone clear their throat. I looked in the direction of the noise and found the familiar amber eyes of my brother staring at me. Standing halfway down the on left side of the split staircase, he looked exhausted, sad but relieved? With his long legs, he reached me before I could process it. I did not even notice Stan being gone. Zosar just crashed me with a hug which could literally squeeze the life out of me. Caught by surprised, I did not even think of throwing my hands around him. We stayed there like this for a short second before he stepped back. That was when I realized how puffy and red his eyes. This was also taking a toll on him I am sure but I felt a surge of anger and just blurted a simple question, “Did you know?”