Red

One

Red was eating me alive. I’ve decided I like the colour red. Red converse, red coloured keyboards, red neon signs, red book covers, red trains.

Just another boring day of school where I sit alone, read my book and procrastinate existing. Luckily for me, my school’s main colour was red. It didn’t make me like the school any more than usual but at least it made me feel at home. Sometimes it feels like I’m not living, I’m just wasting time. The gentle rhythm of school was starting to really get on my nerves. Same old, same old.

I sat down on the metal bench next to the small garden the school had put near the library. It was meant to be a sort of meditation area but I seemed to be the only one who used the space regularly. My hair dangled in front of my eyes as I leant down and pulled out my book from my bag. Flicking to the marked page, I resumed reading about different fears people have, a weird obsession I have I guess. ‘Ophidiophobia’ a fear of snakes. Snakes aren’t scary, they just curl up and mind their own business and occasionally flick their little tongues around but they aren’t hurting anyone. I fiddled with my earring as I glazed over the pages of text.

Algophobia - the fear of pain. That’s reasonable I guess. I had different pages marked out with little red sticky notes. Mostly, they were the fears I related to the most.

“Hi!”

I lazily skimmed over the last paragraph about Barophobia, the fear of gravity (how can you be scared of standing on your own two feet?), before paying attention to the person interrupting me. I turned my focus from my book to the boy standing beside me. Parker Gray?! The popular redhead was standing with his red backpack slung over his shoulder.

“Hey…” I replied awkwardly, feeling my face turn red. Why was he talking to me?

“Can I sit here?” He asked, gesturing to the empty half of the bench I was sitting on.

“Yeah go ahead…”

I fumbled with my book, dog-earing the page. He sat down uncomfortably close to me. I don’t think I’ve even had a conversation with him before.

“Whatcha reading?” My immediate response was ‘why do you care?’ but I suppose I should try to be hospitable.

“Um… a book about fears.”

“Cool! Fear stands for f**k everything and run right?”

I looked unimpressed.

“Bad joke, sorry. Do you have a fear?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck. It was unnerving as to how colour coordinated this guy was, yet aesthetic as hell. Red hair, red jacket, red converse, red backpack, red watch. I was getting a headache just thinking about it.

“I guess…” Man this was awkward. What am I supposed to say? It’s f*****g Parker Gray! The most popular guy in school. He probably got dared to talk to me. Just play it cool Scout.

“Can you tell me? I promise I won’t laugh,” he smirked, leaning his body forward. He was way too close for comfort. I just kinda avoided looking at him.

“Well… I guess death. All fears are really just minor parts of the inevitable fear of death,” I muttered, keeping my gaze on the floor. My hand absentmindedly drifted up to my earring and begin twisting it around and around. My real fear was not being good enough, being mediocre and forgotten about, also known as Athazagoraphobia. I want to mean something.

“How so?” Ugh why does he want to keep talking? I’m an introvert, I don’t know how to have conversations!

“Well why are people afraid of the dark? Because there might be something out there that they can’t see that’s going to kill them. Why are people afraid of heights? Because they’re afraid of falling and dying. Why are people afraid of large bodies of water? Because-”

“They’re afraid of drowning or being eaten by something bigger than them,” Parker finished for me. I looked up at the red head and gave him a funny look.

“Yeah.”

“You know, this may be the most meaningful conversation I’ve had with anyone this week, everyone else just talks about parties and shopping,” he said thoughtfully, looking off into the direction of the lockers.

“So why did you come over here?”

“I saw you sitting over here and realised we’ve had school together for the last 4 years and I’ve never really gotten to know you. You seem like a cool guy though, much more real than half of the other meatheads in this school,” Parker shrugged. I sat there and thought about that for a second. Someone actually noticed me? That’s strange.

“Umm thanks…?” I replied, giving him a small smile.

“Do you have many friends?” He asked.

“Yeah loads,” I said sarcastically, waving my arm around for effect. Parker chuckled, he looked adorab- I mean seriously why was he still sitting here.

“I like you, seriously! You’re funny dude.”

Ouch..? I’m funny because I made a joke about not having any friends. I must’ve made a face because he apologised quickly. I was starting to feel weirdly anxious about this and began to fiddle with my earring (again) out of habit.

“Um.. yeah sorry. Well good news, I’m on the lookout for some new friends. Wanna join the Breakfast Club 2.0?” he asked, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.

“How about I think about it….?”

“Yeah sure thing, let me know whenever. Umm I guess I’ll see you in History?” Parker smiled, standing up. I didn’t even realise we had History together.

“Yeah see ya…”

I followed his figure retreating back into the wave of students with my eyes, watching him get swallowed back into the crowds where he belongs. Why me?

Weird.