Zane - Confessions of a lycan

Chapter 49

Zane

It was 11 o'clock, the sun was shining, and the birds were chirping, but my wildflower was still out.

I hadn't left her side all night, staying awake just to make sure she was breathing. The suspense was killing me, and I could feel myself getting more anxious by the minute. Even Cassian started pacing nervously in the back of my mind.

I had blocked him out all night in pure anger, now the fu*ker knew how it felt.

But the more tired I got, the closer he got to successfully tearing down my walls. I heard his voice far away, like a whisper in the wind, trying to communicate with me. But I paid him no mind. He has refused all contact with me for 87 years only to appear as if all was well and proceed to forcefully take over and bite our mate. To say I was boiling with anger was an understatement.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, brushing Lily's hair out of her pretty face. She looked so peaceful as she lay with her eyes closed and lips slightly parted. Maybe she just needed to rest? The dark circles under her eyes that had been there before now seemed to be completely gone.All of a sudden, I could see her eyes moving restlessly under her lids and a loud gasp left her before she fell back into slumber. I couldn´t take this fu*kery any longer. Enough is enough.

I shook her shoulders gently. “Wildflower, wake up.” Nothing. I shook her shoulders a little harder. "Baby, it's 11 o'clock. Time to wake up." No response whatsoever. Panic struck faster than lightning, my heartbeat was pounding so hard that it felt like my heart was going to give out any minute. Why the hell didn't she wake up!?

I started pacing back and forth while running my hands through my hair in a nervous gesture. Cassian's chirping grew louder in my head, overshadowing any thoughts I was trying to create. “Shut up!!” I yelled out into the room without thinking. Sh*t!

But still not a single movement came from Lily. If my previous awakening attempts didn't work, that definitely should have.

I let my walls come down inside my head, letting Cassian come forward in my mind. He looked sad. His tail and ears hung downcast where he sat in plain sight as I searched for him in my mind. Served him right.

"You know, did it ever occur to you that Selene might be punishing us, because of what happened to Julia? That she tricked you?” I growled darkly at him. We never talked about what happened that time. Never mentioned her name. But the memory no longer gave me the same painful feelings. I certainly had a bad conscience for what she was subjected to. But I no longer felt any lack of what I missed out on or the wish that I had made other decisions. What´s done is done.

Cassian whined in my head, refusing to meet my gaze. “Answer me, goddamn it!”

“I don't think she would ever deceive anyone. Not in such a cruel way. Even if the moon goddess didn't find YOU worthy of a second chance, she would never subject Lily to it. Lily is everything that is good and pure in this world.” He said, swooning over our mate and fu*k it, he was right. “Did she tell you why you should bite Lily to the bone? She must have given an explanation, right?” I asked dejectedly, tired of all the arguing. "Well, no, not really.”

“You fu*king bit our mate without knowing the reason?!” I roared at him, my fury taking new life.

"Time was short! She only said it was of the utmost importance. That Lily was special and biting her was necessary.”

I took deep breaths trying to calm myself. The fact remained that if Cassian and I had repaired our relationship in time, we might not have messed this up. Not like this. Communication was the foundation of all relationships, and me and Cassian really flunked there. "I'm sorry Cassian. I'm sorry for everything. I know we went through hell because of me and my bad choices. But we have to start repairing what I destroyed. If not for us, then for Lily's sake. I wish I had listened to you when I was young, but at the same time I don't. Because if what Lily told us about Selene and Mates is true, then my idiocy was necessary to get us here. But with that said, I want to say sorry, and I've missed you, every single fu*king day.” I confessed sincerely. He looked back with obvious surprise before sadness clouded his eyes.

"Even though I didn't condone your behavior, I understood where it came from. I should have been more understanding, helped you find other ways. When our lives went haywire, I chose to shut you out instead of staying around and helping each other in our grief. For that I am sorry as well. But you must understand that your way of life hurt me. My soulmate was the most important thing to me and something worth waiting for while you were man-whor*ng around. You never seemed to care about my feelings, and that hurt me.” His confession made my chest ache. With regret, shame… “I never meant to hurt you, and I took you for granted. I am sincerely sorry, I hope you can forgive me one day.”

Our little heart-to-heart talk was interrupted by my phone going off. Sh*t, I had completely forgotten about the outside word. Damien's name was written on the display. Thank fu*k! He might know what's going on, something, anything…

“Damien! I need help, advice..” I said seriously. “What´s going on little brother? It must be serious if you´re turning to me for advice. Trouble getting that little mate of yours to want to bond?” He snickered.

“This is no time for jokes, Damien. We have mated, that's the fu*king problem! Cassian broke free as I was about to mark her. He bit her down to the bone.” I began to say, feeling guilty. Lily was still lying like a sleeping beauty on the bed, with no sign of waking up.

I heard rattling on the other end, before I heard a door close.

“He did fu*king what?” Damien hissed at the other end.

"She screamed, then she passed out." I started before I had to pull myself together to continue. The fear, the guilt made me emotional. “Cassian claims the moon goddess came to him. That she said it was necessary so Lily could become who she was meant to be or some fuzzy sh*t.” I rubbed my hands over my face in frustration. I fu*king hated feeling helpless.

Give me a fight, an opponent you can physically defeat. But this sh*t?

“Zane, where is Lily now?”

"She's still passed out in bed. I've tried to wake her up, but I can't. She doesn’t respond at all.” I whined. Me, fu*king whined?

I have the reputation as the fiercest Lycan in all the realms, the fu*k!

I heard Damien moving quickly at the other end. Judging by his breathing, he ran up the stairs two at a time.

"Listen to me, little brother. I'm going to ask them to get the private plane ready. I'm going to bring along a historian who might know what's going on and our physician. I'm coming Zane, okay? Make sure Lily is decent when we arrive.”

“Okay. Thank you, brother.” "That's what brothers are for. See you in a little while.”

We said our goodbyes and all that was left to do now was to wait. Wait and worry, hope I haven't hurt my mate... or worse.

***

Lily

What on earth happened? One moment I had felt overwhelming pleasure, only to feel deep pain the next...

I lay with my eyes closed, exhausted, drained. It was completely quiet around me. Where was Zane? Was that grass I felt under me?

I dragged my hand beside me without opening my eyes. The task of opening them felt overwhelming.

That really felt like grass though. That was weird. I giggled at the strangeness of it all, only to groan from the effort.

I remember now though. Zane marked me. Or was it Cassian? I wasn`t sure, but was it really supposed to hurt that much?

I had heard it was supposed to give overwhelming pleasure. Was there something wrong with me?

“There is nothing wrong with you, child.” Now that made me fly up faster than a cheetah. I looked around, sleep-drunk, trying to find the voice that spoke to me. I was in some sort of clearing, with a stream only a few feet away. All the colors in this nature felt stronger, more intense with an almost magical luminescence. Where am I?

I heard feet approaching behind me and I quickly threw myself around, ready to defend myself if needed.

"I wish you no harm, Lily. I come in peace." I blinked several times to take in the beautiful woman in front of me.

There was something ethereal about her. With her flowing onyx hair and pale skin that almost seemed to glow.

Her green eyes shone with kindness and understanding as she walked towards me, which immediately put me at ease.

“Who are you?” I asked hesitantly. “My name is Selene. You might better know me as the moon goddess.”

Shitake mushrooms!