In Ruins
1167 Words
HAZEL
Hours later, I lay on the carpet, the room completely destroyed. It looked like a fight had taken place or several, but I felt perfectly fine with it.
Did it release my frustration?
No.
Did it feel like revenge?
No.
But it took something out of me, and I needed that something gone.
I stared up at the ceiling. I was doing that a lot lately. Then there was a knock.
I didn’t bother replying.
Angela walked in and gasped.
“Oh—what happened?”
She rushed to me immediately.
“Are you okay? What happened?”
I laughed, like a crazy person.
Angela looked at me, studying me, and maybe she decided something, because she just shook her head and went straight for the blankets, shards of glass, pillows.....picking them up, organising, trying to make the room presentable somehow.
After a while she sighed and turned to me, still laughing on the floor.
“You know what? Why don’t you use another room for the day? I’ll need someone to come in here and take care of this. What about the room next door? I’ll have someone put your clothes in the closet and everything you need.” she said sweetly, almost like she was talking me off a ledge.
“I don’t need anything here,” I muttered. “And I feel just fine in this room.”
“Well, then you’ll have to wait until the room is tidied up before you can use it again.”
“Are you kicking me out of my own room, Angela?”
I didn’t even know why I was starting a fight.
Angela watched me for a moment, shook her head, and left.
I lay back on the carpet and laughed again.
***
It was already dark when Angela returned. This time she didn’t knock.
“You have to get up,” she said. “Take a shower and get dressed. You’re needed downstairs.”
I scoffed and kept staring at the ceiling.
“Your presence is needed in the dining room. You do remember you have to go downstairs for dinner every night, don’t you?”
“I haven’t been going downstairs for a long time,” I said. “Nobody minded.”
“That’s because Mr Moretti wasn’t here. He is here now and you’re no longer sick. So everything has gone back to normal.”
“Everything has gone back to normal?”
I stood up and faced her.
“Does this look normal?” I motioned at myself, at the room.
She didn’t answer that.
“I don’t want to get into trouble,” she whispered. “Just… please be presentable for dinner.”
“I’m not coming.”
And then she said something that made me freeze.
“I don’t want......to happen to me” she said quietly.
I looked at Angela as she told me, “I don't want what happened to Nico to happen to me too.”
Her voice was calm, quiet, almost too quiet, but the words slammed into me like a slap.
I froze.
Something in me went still, like the air around us had thickened. I stared at her, and she stared right back with the same unreadable face she always wore. She was still Angela, steady, controlled, expressionless.
What happened, did Axel threaten her?"
I frowned. “They wouldn't hurt you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Angela lowered her eyes for just a second, the first time I had ever seen her look away. Then she composed herself again.
“If you don’t go downstairs,” she said softly, “I will have failed.”
“Failed what?” I snapped. “You’re not in control of me. You’re not my mother, Angela.”
She didn’t flinch. She didn’t argue. She just repeated, steady and quiet in a voice that somehow felt heavier than shouting:
“Please come downstairs.”
And just like that, I felt my anger rise, hot, sharp, choking.
Because I knew that I couldn’t go through what happened to Nico.
And whatever had happened to Angela. And whatever Axel was willing to do without even blinking......
I had already seen enough in that basement. Heard enough. Felt enough to last a lifetime.
And the truth was cruel, humiliating, and terrifying:
I hated Axel.
But I feared him more.
And I knew I couldn't survive another lesson.
Angela stood there, waiting, hands clasped quietly in front of her, not begging me, not threatening me, just… waiting. Because she already knew my answer.
I closed my eyes.
Then I stood up.
Wait just a minute… did Angela smile when I started heading towards the bathroom?
I looked toward her, but she already had that poker face back on. Had I imagined that? Probably. I sighed and went into the bathroom.
When I was done and stepped out, she was no longer there. Of course, she wasn’t.
I got changed and then went downstairs, dragging my feet because the last thing I wanted was to have dinner with Axel. Especially after all that I had done… after how much he had made me go through… after what he had just done.
When I walked into the dining room, he was there as usual, composed as ever, and for once he was drinking a glass of wine. He was drinking before dinner? Interesting.
What an asshole.
I went and sat in the chair I had sat in the last time I was in this dining room, when he had Kat here. Then I sat waiting for Angela to bring in the food. Axel didn’t say anything, just kept to his wine.
When Angela walked in, her eyes immediately went toward Axel. Then she looked to the seat next to him, where I was supposed to sit. She frowned, and for a minute I thought she was going to comment about me not coming.... But then she looked across the table and saw me sitting on the other side, far away from Axel.
She sighed but didn’t say anything. She served the food as usual and left. I concentrated on my meal, stabbing the meat and vegetables on the plate, imagining it was Axel. I didn’t want to be here. So I just shut down my mind and let myself drift anywhere else.
Dinner went on that way, silent, heavy until Angela brought dessert. And that was the moment Axel decided to engage me.
“I heard about your little accident,” he said.
I scoffed and didn’t reply.
“Such a mess. What happened to your bedroom?”
Again, I didn’t answer.
I was done with my dessert, eating it as if my life depended on it, even though I couldn’t taste a thing, even though I just wanted to get this over with.
I quickly stood up and left the dining room, not sparing him another glance.
He could force me here, but he wouldn’t force me to interact with him.
- Writer
