Lost
1139 Words
Hazel
I stand there for longer than I should.
The door is still open behind me. I could storm back in. I could scream. I could throw the whole dining table across the room if I wanted to. The urge snaps hot inside me.
But I don’t move.
Because Nico’s words are still ringing in my head… He knows.
I kissed Nico.
I kissed him.
And Axel knows.
My throat tightens. Why does that matter so much? Why does it feel like everything is bending under that one truth?
Nico’s face told me everything.
It mattered.
It mattered a lot.
So what am I supposed to do, march back in there and… say what?
Hi, Axel. Yes, I kissed the man who keeps me from choking on your world. Please punish me harder. Thanks.
No.
And Kat is still in there too. The last thing I want is for her to see me snap. She would enjoy that. She would enjoy every second of me losing it.
So I don’t go back. I turn away from the house entirely.
I feel constricted. I need space. I need air that isn’t touched by him. I need to be somewhere that doesn’t smell like control.
So I walk.
Through the back patio. Down the stone steps.
Into the open stretch of the backyard that feels like it could go on forever.
This property is massive. A maze of trimmed hedges, fountains, smooth marble paths, and then farther, the wild part. The trees. The part of the land that hasn’t been shaped, tamed, or controlled.
I head for that.
I walk.
Just walk.
My thoughts are loud. Too loud. Tripping over each other, scratching, biting, clawing at every corner inside my head. I must look insane, because I’m talking to myself. Out loud. Arms moving. Hands in my hair.
“I didn’t ask for any of this,” I mutter into the open air like it can answer.
“I didn’t want him. I didn’t want this house. I didn’t want to be under him. I didn’t want….”
My voice cracks. And then the anger hits. I stop walking. My jaw clenches. My fists curl.
I am so mad.
Mad at Axel.
Mad at Nico.
Mad at Mark.
Mad at myself.
Mad at this whole damn world.
The kind of mad that makes you feel like your skin is too tight for your bones. I want to break something. Scream. Run. Disappear.
Instead, I keep walking, deeper into the trees, into that space where the house can’t see me anymore.
I want to get lost.
Maybe I already am.
I don’t know how long I walked. I don’t even remember the path I took. One minute I was just trying to cool off, to get away from Axel, from Kat, from the house and all of it... and now I’m here, somewhere deep behind the property, and I have no idea how to get back.
My legs ache. I’m hungry. I’m tired. And every time I think, okay, I’ll just turn around and go back, something inside me freezes. I picture stepping back into that house, into that atmosphere, with all those eyes and all that tension, and my body just refuses.
So instead I walk. And walk. And walk…. I no longer know if I’m heading back or further away. It feels like I’m moving in circles, like I’m trapped inside my own head, and the trees just grew around me to match the mess.
I stop and call out, first quietly, then louder.
“Axel?”
No answer.
“Nico?”
Nothing.
“Angela?“
Nothing.
Then I call even louder, for help, for anyone, and the sound just dies into the trees.
Maybe nobody knows I’m here. Maybe I should have told someone where I was going. Maybe I should have taken the phone Axel left and gave me last night. But I didn’t. I wanted to be stubborn. I wanted to make a point. I wanted to prove I didn't need his shitty gifts.
And now I’m here.
Alone.
The forest floor crunches behind me, and I freeze. Something moves. My heart launches into my throat. I scream before I can even stop myself. Then I see it, a blur of fur shooting through the bushes.
Probably a rabbit.
At least I hope it was a rabbit.
Suddenly my brain is producing every possible scenario. Are there wild animals here?
Snakes? Wolves? Foxes? A damn bear?
My panic rises, pulsing through me like static under my skin. I start walking faster, then faster, then I’m running, but I don’t know in which direction. I don’t know if I’m running toward the house or away from it. There’s nothing familiar anymore. Only the sound of my breath, uneven, loud, almost ragged.
Then… I hear something.
My name. Or I think I hear my name.
“H…Hazel!”
It’s faint. Or imagined. I don’t know. I stop. I spin. The trees all look the same. The world tilts. My thoughts are breaking apart.
I don’t know how long I’ve been here. Hours? Minutes?
I blink. Maybe I am hallucinating.
And suddenly, the fear hits all at once, not of the woods, or the dark, or the animals. But the thought that no one even knows where I am.
And that maybe no one is coming….
As I stand there, wandering in circles and losing my breath to panic, I suddenly hear something sharp crack through the air.
A gunshot.
My whole body goes still. For a second, I don’t know if I imagined it. Maybe my brain is playing tricks on me again. Maybe it’s just another branch breaking. But the sound echoes again, sharper, closer… That is a gunshot.
I shouldn’t know the difference, but somehow I do. My heartbeat kicks so hard I feel it in my teeth. And then, before I can think, I am running. I don’t care where. I just move. The trees blur. My feet slam the ground. I don’t even feel the cuts from branches lashing my arms.
I just run. The sound comes again. Closer. Too close. My breath is ragged. My chest burns. The world tilts. The ground is uneven, but I don’t stop. I can’t. I run like my body knows something my mind doesn’t.
And then, suddenly, I hit something.
Someone.
A solid, unmovable body.
I collide so hard that the air is knocked out of me. I stumble back and fall to the ground. Dirt and leaves press into my palms and knees.
It takes a second before I can see clearly. The first thing that comes into view is brown boots. And then My eyes lock on the rifle. I can’t pull my gaze away. My ears are still ringing. My breath is coming too fast.
- Writer
