Chubby Duckling

2: DUFF or DUCC

MATTHEW

I chose to go to the party.

Even if there was no assurance that the Freshmen Goddesses were gonna be there, I decided to find my new girlfriend tonight. It doesn't matter who, as long as she can keep Krista away from me, it's fine.

"That is one crazy chick." Jordan nudged me and nodded to the direction of a chubby girl in white feathery clothes.

"Yeah. Man, that outfit is outrageous!"

"Huh?" Jordan scrunched his eyebrows and looked to where I was looking at, "not Chammy, silly! I was talking about Krista. Look, she's right there by the bushes. I think she's waiting for you, mate."

Since both of his hands were inside his jacket pocket, he pointed with his right elbow past the chubby girl. To her left was a long-legged pretty girl in a bob cut. She's wearing a silver tight-fitting mini dress and was looking hot.

Krista Taylor is one of the most popular seniors in Southridge High. She's the head cheerleader, captain of the drama club, and she's the student body president. She looks good both literally and in paper. That's what made me pursue her back when I was still an innocent freshman, and she, a scheming junior.

Carter clapped my back, "How do you keep that chick dangling?" he looked at me with a smirk.

"Dude, she had my missing sock, unwashed and framed in her bedroom. Why would I keep a chick like that?" I pushed him off me and shook my head at his ludicrous question.

I dated Krista in the middle of freshman year and it only took about a week into dating her to find out she's nuts. She didn't take our break up well and still followed me around acting like we're still together. The only thing that keeps her away is whenever she sees I'm with another girl. Being the student body president, she has a certain image she needs to uphold. I guess that's how my reputation as a playboy started. I only date when it's convenient. And right now, I need to date someone just until she graduates.

Carter only chuckled in response and shrugged. He just came out of the back of my car and left the door open. I looked at him expectantly and when he couldn't figure out what I was alluding to, I closed the car door for him with a loud thud before locking it and shaking my head.

Sometimes I think Carter deliberately acts stupid to get me to do things for him.

"Does she think we can't see her?" Jordan interjected, bringing our attention back to the problem at hand. "How long do you reckon she's been lurking there? She's creeping me out."

Both of us cringed, but Jordan more visibly did so.

"Come on, let's just enter from the back door or something." I said as I turn to the opposite direction that will keep me far away from my crazy stalker of an ex.

"I don't get you two. So what if she has your sock? She's still hot." Carter declared.

It's comments like this that makes me question why I'm even friends with Carter. Sure, he's a good basketball player and he has my back in the court, but he can be pretty shallow and self-absorbed.

"Go for it if that's your type. I'll be glad to get her off my hands."

Carter snorted, "No thanks. I don't want your hand-me-downs."

I ignored his snide remark and continued walking around the big yard towards the back entrance. I get the feeling that he's secretly in constant competition with me. But I don't mind because I don't see him as my competition. I'm way better looking, and way more talented than him. It'd be too savage if I compete with him, like if Mike Tyson entered a boxing match with Usain Bolt. Usain is a pro, but as a sprinter, not a boxer. Same goes for Carter, he's good, but he's just not in my league.

Jordan, on the other hand, can be my competition. He's the tall, dark, and handsome guy with a British accent that girls typically go ga-ga for. He's also a good player. He gives honor to his namesake with his 3-point shots. He's smart, he's good at woodshop, he can sing, and he can even cook!

It's really a good thing we're friends rather than rivals. And if I were a girl, Jordan Hughes would be on the top of my list. Second only to me though, I'd be on the very top of my list, if I were allowed to date myself.

Jordan is a really good wingman too. He's friendly and good with names, he can always tell who is the good catch and who to steer clear from. He's like a sociable Sherlock Holmes.

If only he was there to warn me about Krista, maybe I wouldn't be in this mess right now.

Unfortunately, after only a month of going to school, he'd been M.I.A for the rest of our freshman year. He wouldn't tell me what happened and had been very secretive about it. But rumor has it that it's something to do with his father's failing business abroad. Whatever it was, his sabbatical got me stuck hanging out with Carter last year and I guess this year too, because Jordan's been held back a year. He's taking freshman classes this year and is basically considered a freshman still. He's actually the reason how we got invited to this party. But aside from lunch and basketball practice, we rarely hang out anymore. This is the first time since he returned that we got together outside school.

We reached the backyard and climbed over the classic white picket fence. The music is blaring over the speakers that surrounded the pool. There were already a lot of people even if it was still early in the evening. We crossed the patio to the open glass double-doors, only nodding to other sophomores we passed by as a greeting. We finally made it inside and saw that the house was huge.

"Woah, it's a mansion!" Carter marveled.

"Who's the host?" I asked Jordan.

"Tiffany Adams, that girl by the front door."

"Should we..-?"

"No worries, I'll do the pleasantries, go hide under some girl's skirt." Jordan winked at me before heading towards Tiffany to talk her up. He really is the best wingman.

Carter clapped once and rubbed his hands together, "Now, where do we look for those Freshmen Goddesses?" He looked at me with a devious smile before chuckling and looking around.

"Divide and conquer?" I suggested and he nodded once before going to the east side of the room. I went to west side towards the kitchen.

My friends say even if I haven't met these Goddesses before, I'll know when I see them. "They'd be the gorgeous ones that'll stand out among the crowd," they said. But looking around, the only person standing out because of her striking outfit was that chubby girl from earlier with the feathered-clothes.

I walk past her to get myself something to drink.

She was on her phone and looked like she was ranting. From this distance and with the current lighting, she looked cute. But she is a little overweight to be the freshman goddess.

"...uh-huh, about 5 minutes," she looked at me and lowered her voice. "yeah, I'll call her after...mhmm..."

I took a red cup and filled it with punch. I sipped as I look around some more to try and find the Freshmen Goddesses.

"...only 'cause I came here with the Freshman Goddesses."

That made me look at the chubby girl on the phone again. So, she came here with them. I tried to discreetly listen-in to her conversation and get intel about the Goddesses whereabouts, but I guess I wasn't that subtle as she stepped back and looked at me annoyed.

"...yeah, I'm in the kitchen. Hold on, Elly." She covered the phone and looked to me annoyed. "Do you mind?"

I raised my hands in mock surrender and turned to moved away. But not far enough to not hear her say, "sorry about that, a loser was trying to eavesdrop on our conversation."

Oh no, she did not just call me a loser!

I turned back around appalled with this little chubby girl. Really? I'm the loser? Who does she think she is? From our looks alone, anyone can tell who's the loser between the two of us.

"Excuse me?" I close the distance between us with one long stride. I wanted to intimidate her, but I guess I got too close because we both got flustered. Her plump cheeks blushed crimson and I could tell from the way she looked up at me that she was uncomfortable by our proximity.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Did you just call me a loser?" I asked in my most menacing voice.

She gulped and I can feel her breath hitched. I moved closer while she backed up the counter. She smelled nice and up close like this, with her glasses making her brown doe eyes appear bigger, she's kinda mesmerizing.

"Get off, perv!" She pushed me with one hand, stomped on my foot and punched me in the gut, all in one fell swoop.

I did not see that coming.

She stormed off without so much as a backward glance, leaving me writhing on the floor.

Among the crowd that has suddenly gathered around me was Krista. She walked towards me as though she was going to help me up.

"Really, Matt? You'd stoop so low as to hit on that fugly freshman just to hurt me?" She crossed her arms.

I see now how my actions seem to look that way to her. I tried to shake my head and explain that it wasn't like that but she raised her voice like she wanted the whole world to hear. "We are so done!"

With her head held high and a loud clink of her heels, she walked away.

Jordan appeared and helped me up. "What happened, mate?"

"Eh, the usual. Girls going crazy around me."

He scoffed and shook his head.

"Come on, we just about missed those goddesses." He steered me towards the living room where we found Carter talking to a bunch of freshmen girls.

"Dude, I heard you got dumped!" Carter boomed with a laugh.

"I did not get dumped."

"Uh-yes you did!" He put an arm around me and murmured, "we better get going because you won't be getting any tonight."

I shrugged his arm off, "what do you mean?"

"Word is out, you're tiny," he put his thumb and forefinger together to emphasize the word, "the goddesses' DUFF couldn't get them out of here fast enough when she found out after you harassed her!"

"WHAT?! I did not harass anybody! And I am not tiny!" I seethed in anger.

"Wait, what's a DUFF?" Jordan asked, confused.

"Designated Ugly Fat Friend," Carter answered in a deadpan voice.

"Hey! That's a bit rude. Chammy is not ugly. I think she's rather cute, actually. And I believe the politically correct term is overweight, or large, or chubby-"

"DUCF doesn't really roll off the tongue as easy as DUFF would."

"Of course not, just call it DUCC, Designated Unattractive Chubby Chum. It's politically correct and it sounds better. It not demeaning and sorta gives you hope to be called DUCC 'coz it sounds like duck and you know that story about ducks turning into swans..."

"Whatever-!"

"Guys!" I interrupted their silly argument, "we're getting off topic here. Carter, what do you mean I harassed the goddesses' DUFF-?" Jordan smacked me in the chest with the back of his hand. "-sorry, DUCC."

"That girl who hit you, she's their DUCC."

He shook his head in admonishment. "You shouldn't have pissed her off, dude. How will you get with the goddesses now?"

I scoffed. "Who cares about the goddesses? I can have anyone I want. They're probably not all that anyway."

"Anyone? Really?" Carter raised an eyebrow, "I bet you couldn't get that DUCC to go out with you." He snickered.

"Tss! Why would I even want to get with that DUCC?"

"It's not a matter of wanting to, it's about your skill to get anyone." He shook his head. "But given your reputation now..." He looked down my crotch and smirked, "You wouldn't be able to get even the likes of her."

"What do I get?" I looked at Carter who seemed confused. I didn't like what he was insinuating. I am skilled. "What do I get when I win the bet?"