Twice the Hands to Hold

Chapter 2: Thursday-3

Practice for the afternoon had wound down. Brian was happy enough about that. He’d been stoked all practice long with the adrenaline of the official announcement running through him, but was now drained. An ice-cold beer is what was needed right about then. Pity his uncle kept such a goddamn close eye on the number of beers in the fridge.

Brian stepped under the piercing jets from the shower and let the hot water pelt his muscles. His shoulders unknotted, like they always did, and he breathed in the damp, steamy air that surrounded him. There was something hovering just on the edge of his consciousness—something like extreme joy. He didn’t want to contemplate it too much, since he rarely allowed himself to go there. But it was there nonetheless. This was the first piece of the puzzle. If he took this chance and ran with what Coach had given him, it could be the beginning of a lot of things.

Most importantly, his college education wouldn’t be another chain around his uncle’s neck. Jake wouldn’t have to chase Brian’s college tuition for the next twenty years. He reluctantly stepped out of the showers and started toweling his hair, absentmindedly putting on deodorant. Brian sensed someone hovering. He looked up to lock eyes with none other than goddamn Oliver. Once again, he noticed that the guy actually was a handsome bastard. But he was lingering, and it pissed Brian off. Seemed like he wanted to say something but was shy a couple of balls needed to speak up.

“Can I help you with something?”

Oliver’s eyes bulged, surprised that Brian noticed him, but he recovered quickly. He smirked, then turned and left Brian to his own thoughts again. Brian considered chasing him down, but wasn’t in the mood to expend the energy it would take.

Let the bastard stew in his own juices.

Brian finished toweling off and got dressed. Oliver was still hovering at the edge of his awareness as he walked into the auditorium. He stopped at the bleachers as his friends approached.

He walked into the auditorium and stopped at the bleachers as his group of friends approached. Oliver had taken his deer-in-headlights act on the road and Brian put the guy out of his mind.

“Brian freakin’ Walker.” Michelle threw her left arm over his shoulder. She ran her hand through his wet tresses and stared deeply into his eyes. “Why are you so f*****g handsome? I can’t even breathe.”

“You must’ve heard about Coach’s decision then,” he said cynically, but it flew right over her head.

“I never had any doubt you’d get it,” she said, “you knew that.” She kissed him.

Brian had spared a thought about Michelle’s interest levels in him peaking the moment his QB status became official, but he hadn’t spent a lot of mental energy on it. He’d already gotten what he wanted from her and was just about ready to move on. He hated when girls got so goddamn possessive.

He grabbed at her ass lasciviously in front of her friends, playing into the mock indignation they both knew was just for show as she so obviously basked in the unsubtle jealousy of the others. “Pick me up tomorrow night?”

“You know it,” Michelle said and pulled him in for another kiss. He put on a good show that no one else could match. As Brian stared and considered all the willing bodies around him, melancholy weighed him down. Why was it that the more popular that he got, with both sexes, the lonelier he felt? No need to be jealous, ladies. There’s more than enough to go around.

* * * *

Brian sank down on his brother’s bed. “You look busy.”

Matt sat huddled over his Mac in the dark of his room. He looked up from the computer and studied his brother. “I am. Go away.” He continued hitting at the keys.

Brian bunched up the pillow under his head and continued staring at the ceiling. “I got the QB position.”

“I heard.” Matt said. “It’s kind of a big deal.”

Brian shrugged in the dark.

“I’ve already got Mike on it. You’re getting an above the fold spread.” Matt’s eyes bore into him. “You’re always a crowd pleaser.”

“I’m gonna work real hard, Matt. Do well this year.”

“I have no doubt.”

“I have to get a scholarship. Give Uncle Jake a break, you know?”

Matt closed his laptop and placed it between them. The sudden dark in the room was welcomed. “Yeah. If there’s one guy that deserves a break, it’s him.”

Their uncle had never made a big deal about taking custody of them at twenty-two, and there wasn’t a doubt in Brian’s heart that his uncle ever regretted it. But now that they’d be off to college soon, it was Jake’s time to finally start living the life of a bachelor, or at least Brian hoped that he would. He’d pay for their college tuition. He would make it work somehow, he always did. But what if he didn’t have to? His uncle deserved the break.

“You ever wonder if Mom and Dad would be proud of us?”

Matt appeared to be contemplating the question. “I think so. You especially,” he said.

“What? Why do you say that?” Brian doubted that, although he would’ve liked to believe it. His brother had more of their mother and father in him than Brian could ever hope for. He was okay with that. He at least had Matt in his life, which was enough of a reminder of his mother’s patience and his father’s love for them, both of which Brian had a tough time ever displaying.

“You’re a good guy. Even though you work so hard to make everyone believe otherwise.”

Brian could hear the smile in his brother’s voice. He didn’t allow himself to really go to this emotional space, but when he did, he went there all the way. More and more he wished he could live up to the guy Matt and his uncle thought they saw in him. He needed Matt to look up to him and his uncle to be proud of him. “I think you’re biased, or misinformed. Possibly both.”

“Scoff all you want. I’ve always had your number.”

Brian got up off the bed, suddenly needing to escape from this room. Being this close to Matt made the imminent reality crush down on him, that soon they’d both be off to college and he wouldn’t be able to just walk across the hall to his brother’s room to talk about his day. He made his way to the bathroom door. “I talked to Michelle. She’ll pick me up tomorrow night, so you can take the car.”

“Thanks, man,” his brother said.

“Night bro,” Brian said, and made his exit just as quietly as he’d entered.