Twice the Hands to Hold

Chapter 3: Friday-1

Chapter 3: Friday

Jake

Jake stared at a photo of his sister and her boyfriend, who would become her husband shortly after. She was beaming. Their hands on a belly full of arms and legs. Pregnancy had suited her splendidly. No one had been the wiser that she was expecting twins at that point. He remembered fondly the day they’d found out. Not for a moment was there a thought from anyone about the inconvenient reality of a second baby. He got up off his bed and walked over to the closet. He picked through the array of hangers and pulled a few pieces out.

His eyes drifted to the photo on his dresser again. His nephews had been loved from conception, and his sister had made sure they’d known it every day for the first six years of their lives. Then God saw fit to give him that responsibility. Jake smiled. Lord, how he’d worried about messing it up. He’d been worried about screwing his nephews up, every single day. Somehow, though, they’d turned out pretty great.

He turned to the bed and stared down at his clothes for the evening. Was he being silly? Who still got butterflies at his age? He was thirty-four. Did butterflies still happen at thirty-four?

There hadn’t been much chance to get past his dating jitters growing up. In fact, hardly any dates occurred during his twenties. Somehow the gay men he did meet weren’t very keen on a twenty something guy with two small children at home, law school at night, and a full-time job. But he didn’t regret any of it. He’d given his life to his nephews, and to his sister and beautiful Brian Sr.’s unfinished dreams, which had turned into his dreams. He’d always wanted kids, and he could admit to himself now, he had wanted the partner to go along with it. Just having someone else make a decision now and then, to take the responsibility off of him having to know what the hell to do all the time, would have been wonderful.

His eyes drifted back to Brian Sr.’s photo and he fought the melancholy that always threatened to overtake him. Both his sister and his brother-in-law had died too young, but through Brian and Matt, they would live on forever.

* * * *

Brian

“Where are you off to?” Brian passed his brother on his way to the fridge.

“I told you.” Matt fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. “Lexie and Marty and I are heading to the city.”

“Why?” He grabbed a bottle of water.

“What’s it to you?”

“You look like a slut.” Brian eyed his brother with a hint of disgust.

Matt seemed crushed by the deadpan of his voice.

“This is a Brakersville V-neck,” Matt said in justification.

He studied Matt a moment longer, taking in just how beautiful he looked. His brother had no idea what effect he had on people, and it haunted Brian in his sleep. “That neckline would put Brandi Glanville to shame. Go change.”

“Why do you always have to be such a d**k to me!” Matt made his way up the kitchen stairs past a stunned Jake.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Brian said. “You wouldn’t have let him leave here like that either.”

“True.” Jake took a seat at the kitchen counter. “But I might’ve phrased it differently.”

Brian uncapped the water. “He needs help, Jakey. He doesn’t get a lot of things. He’s too innocent for his own good. And guys, you know. They’re kind of dickheads.”

“I know. But I also raised your brother to be levelheaded. Just like you. He’s a good kid.”

“I know he is. And he’s loving, and caring, and everything that’s good in this world. And people want to destroy that.”

“He can look out for himself.”

Brian ran his finger up an intricate curve of the bottle. There was something about his brother that drew out such protective feelings in him. Matt could be completely oblivious at times, and incredibly naive and far too trusting, but if there was one person who he loved equally as much as his uncle…or hell, more than his uncle or even himself…it was Matt. Brian shook his head angrily. “Why does he have to wear his heart on his sleeve, though. Why can’t he just be…”

“More like you?” His uncle finished his sentence. “Do you really want another Brian in your life?”

“He just doesn’t get it.” Brian swiped a hand over his face. He loved his brother’s innate goodness, clung to it as a lifeline actually. But in real life, it would get him nowhere except in some bullshit that Brian wouldn’t always be able to help him out of. “He’ll accept a drink from some girl’s friend’s brother, and thank him while he’s getting turned out in some dingy Hollywood alley. We can’t let that happen.”

“Hey, I’m still here,” Jake sounded reassuring. “Nobody will hurt my boys if I have anything to say about it.”

Brian grinned.

Jake placed a palm over his hand. “Lighten up on your brother. He looks up to you.”

“That’s the scariest thing of all,” he muttered. He aspired to be someone Matt could look up to, although he was blatantly aware of all his shortcomings and why he was the worst person for Matt to look up to.

“I bet.”

Brian took a sip of water. “Thanks,” he said, understanding remaining in the air between them, as it always did after one of their talks. “What time’s your not-date getting here?”

“Nice try at deflecting.” Jake headed for the stairs. “I’m meeting him at a bar. Where other grownups hang out.”

“Enjoy the date with your drinking buddy,” Brian called after his uncle.