Lust For Value

{5.}Eli and Eve

"f**k yes you feel so good!"

"Yes sir and that would be two pepperoni-"

"-Ugh, harder!"

"I am so sorry for the noise. Your pizza should arrive in about 20 minutes." Addison slammed the phone down and scowled. "What the hell is wrong with you two?

Eli and Eve stared at him for a few moments before bursting out in laughter, "Your face. It was priceless!"

"This is why you were fired."

"Come on Addison you have to admit it was a little funny." Eli shrugged.

"It wasn't! Not only does a customer think I'm watching p**n during my shift, he also thinks it's straight p**n. You just ruined my reputation on so many f*****g levels."

Eve decided to visit them today and pick up her weekly free pizza. Eli's flustered face when she walked in was priceless. The guy would lick her shoes if she asked him to. "So Eve what would you like on your pizza this week?" he asked walking behind the counter.

"I thought you were on your break?" She questioned.

"I am but...I'll do anything for you--I mean-- not like that-" He rubbed the back of his neck and muttered, "I'll just go and make your regular."

When the boy disappeared into the kitchen Addison let out a chuckle, "You are blind."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's so obvious that he-"

"Ms. Klate what are you doing here?" His boss walked in from the back and glared. "Why the hell is she sitting on my counter?"

"I am so sorry ma'am she's just picking up her pizza."

"She's paying this time right?"

Eve snorted "No-"

"-Yes! She is like she does every other time."

The lady turned her gaze to Eve, "Well it should be done soon. I want her out of here as soon as possible--with a receipt, Mr. Westbrook."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"I have errands to run. Don't make me regret leaving you here alone."

The moment she walked out Eve returned to her spot on the counter and laughed, "Imagine having to work with that b***h. Couldn't be me."

"Again...You got fired."

"Yeah but..."

"Exactly."

A few minutes later Eli walked back out with her pizza along with the other guy from earlier's. "Here you go, I can make you a drink if you want. Or do you want extra cookies? I may be able to do both-"

"-Eli" Eve laughed. "Dude calm down and breathe. I'll take a sprite thank you."

The boy chuckled awkwardly and made her drink.

Addison doesn't have much experience with girls. But he really needed to talk to Eli about his Eve problem. Because that's what it was, a problem.

The telephone rang alerting him of another customer. He gave them both a swift warning glance and answered, "Hello! Thank you for calling Pete's Pizza! What can I get for you?"

"Hey." It was Oliver. The two haven't spoken since yesterday when he kicked him out of his room. "I know you're working I just wanted to talk."

He sat down and sighed, "Ok what is it?"

Eve and Eli watched him intently.

"Who's he talking to?" Eve whispered to Eli.

"Oliver." He nodded.

Addison ignored them and listened as Oliver let out a breath, "I'm sorry for yesterday. I never meant to make you uncomfortable with my comment."

Addison's eyes widened. What the hell is going on? Why is he apologizing to me? "Oh...I don't care. I mean, it's okay let's just forget about it."

"Ok."

Silence.

"Do you want to order a pizza or..."

"Yeah, I do. Can I get a large cheese pizza?"

"Yeah, sure it should be delivered in no more than 20 minutes."

"Ok thank you."

"Mhm bye."

He hung up the phone and looked at his friends who were eating Eve's pizza at the counter, watching him closely. "You guys are so nosey."

"So did he finally ask you out?" Eli joked. "You're blushing."

"I am not blushing. And no he didn't. He just apologized for pushing me in the hallway today."

"He never pushes you in the hallways," Eve commented grabbing another slice. "You're lying."

"How do you know if he-"

"-Have you forgotten who we are? We're Eli and Eve, basically, you're creators. Just like Eve and Adam-"

"It's Adam and Eve-" Eli cut in.

"-Whatever it is, we are and we know you." She hopped off the counter. "I have to go, I have a date."

Addison watched as Eli's face dropped. Poor guy. "You? A date?"

"Yes, Addison. I have a date...with my boss."

His eyes widened, "Eve what the hell?"

"He's 25. It's not that big an age difference and I'm not a minor."

She flipped him off and left them alone. The rest of his shift was quiet, Eli was a depressed mess, and Addison couldn't stop thinking about Oliver's "apology."

...

When he got home that evening his parents were cuddled up on the couch like the disgusting love birds they are. It's nice to have parents that get along, but watching them make out every morning in the kitchen gets a little scarring.

"Hi sweetie how was work?"

"It was fine mom how was your day?" He sat on one of the couches across from them. His dad was snoring away like usual, for his young age, he slept a lot.

"It was great. Your father and I went to a museum downtown." She beamed and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek. Yes, boyfriend. His parents never got married.

After everything they went through in their relationship, Addison understood why they never found the right time.

"I'm happy you had fun."

"We did." She peeled the man's arm off of her and sat up. "We waited for you. Go shower, dinner should be ready soon okay?"

"Ok." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and went upstairs.

...

The dinner table was pretty quiet. His dad's eyes were still barely open as he shoved the food into his mouth. The guy looked half dead.

"You okay dad? Should I be worried?"

He incoherently muttered and shooed him away. Ok, I guess he's fine.

"We stayed up pretty late last night." His mom smirked

"Mom, please. I don't want to know." Addison grimaced.

"I didn't think you would mind." She mumbled, pushing her food to the other side of the plate. She did that when she was thinking about something.

What does she have on her mind?

"What?"

"I dumped your trashcan today."

"Ok?"

She sat down her fork and leaned back in her seat. "An empty box of condoms. 40 pack. There is no way having that much s*x is healthy Addison."

His dad choked on his chicken, he was wide awake now. "Forty?!" Addison patted his back and scowled at his mom.

"Mom! Why are you looking through my trashcan?"

"I didn't look through it I was cleaning. Who are you having that much s*x with Addison? I hope it's not multiple people, I'm not judging but don't you think you're a little young?"

He scoffed, "You cannot talk about the age I'm having s*x. I'm 18 that's old enough. You guys were younger than me when you had sex."

Addison's parents had him when they were 15. It's probably why they aren't married; they didn't have the time. When his mom's mom found out she kicked her out and she went to live with his father's family.

A whole lot of other stuff happened, but she never talks about it. And Addison never asked.

His father held up his hand, "Don't bring me into this. If that condom hadn't have busted you wouldn't be here young man."

"Why are we talking about this at the dinner table? You guys have no decency." Addison finished his plate and dumped it in the sink. "This is why we don't eat together."

"Do you have a boyfriend?" His mom came up behind him. "Please just tell me."

"I don't have a boyfriend mom."

"But you haven't had one since 4th grade. It's getting pathetic." His dad said joining them at the sink.

"I'm going to sleep. You can call me pathetic when you commit to putting a ring on mom's finger, old man."

"He's not wrong." She muttered.

He had to deal with his parents' bickering about marriage for the rest of the night. A few minutes later, he heard his mom drag him into the bedroom, probably for makeup s*x.

His parents are like weird teenagers. It's fun, but embarrassing and disgusting when you have to live with them.