The room
948 Words
I began making my way upstairs and thought about the room at the end of the hall on the second floor. It must be dusty, since I haven’t been in there for a while now… I should clean it up…
I opened up the door to the room Ilze was going to sleep in and what welcomed me was a deep feeling of sadness and despair. Memories that had neem welling up inside of me appeared to make their way to my eyes in the form of tears. I wiped them away immediately; if Ilze saw me that way she would start asking things, and I wasn’t in the mood for that.
I stepped in and with a broom I had grabbed on the hallway, I started sweeping, and sweeping again and again all the dust that had piled up over the years. Everything was as I had left it, not a single thing unmoved, not a single insect; everything was in its place. As I swept away the dust, I sneezed and coughed so much I had to make pull my shirt over my nose, and that way, I continued to clean, removing all the dust I could for it to look habitable enough.
The bed sheets needed to be changed of course, so I made my way to the big, comfy bed, and I started taking them off one by one. I thought at this point of my life, emotional memories wouldn’t affect me as much, but I guess I was wrong. I was sobbing, remembering, mourning as I pulled off some sheets from a bed I had consciously tried to forget. I have never felt so many things while cleaning a room.
I finished taking of the sheets and put them on a basket. I had to wash them, but Ilze was not going to use them; I had planned on giving her some extras I have that I use when I think it’s extremely freezing. I of course checked the mattress in case it had any dust. It did. I started dusting the mattress and when I was done, I extended de spare sheets over it.
I looked around the room in melancholy and kept remembering. Memories of things one just wishes they would forget, of words that were never said, of letters that were never sent, memories of regret. I had forgotten the reason why I avoided this place. I remembered all of this today, the moment I stepped in that room again. I need to keep cleaning; Ilze will come at any moment.
After the sheets came the heater, stashed away somewhere in the room, which was as cold as the outside; common temperature for a room that had been deprived of human warmth or interaction. I plugged it and while I waited for the room to heat, I took the original blankets and went downstairs heading towards the laundry room. Every time I touched those blankets, I felt as if a shockwave was going through me. Memories that I never forgot, moments I thought I forgot about completely, feelings that I used to feel. s**t. Cleaning a room has never been so difficult.
I went back to the living room to see Ilze was playing with Vadība, rubbing his belly while he laid on his stomach, wagging his tail like a puppy. Well, he IS technically a puppy, he's only 3 years old. 3 years... 3 years since I've had him... 3 years since...
I shook my head and turned to Ilze, "Hey, just wait a little more, the spare room is getting heated, I don't want you freezing to death... Again". I didn't wait for her to reply, I just went upstairs and entered The Room again. It's light pink, almost pastel color on the walls and ceiling was still there. The window in front of me, with a beautiful view of the forest and a now dead garden was still there. The big bed with the white heading was still on my left, placed on the center and closest to the wall as possible. The pristine white vanity on it's left, and a drawer on the right of the bed.
The lamps, the decorations, even the little graffiti on the furthest corner, hidden from plain sight, seen only if you looked beside the huge closet. Everything was there. But not everyone, and that was the most painful thing to realize. It hurt to remember that someone used to live here. That someone used to wake up every day, look through the window and smile at the garden and forest. But what hurt me the most, is the fact that I have never remembered who that person was, nor their name, not even a face. It was just a blurry smile, a blurry silhouette with no distinguishable features, and a nameless presence that would linger forever on this room now abandoned.
A tear rolled down my eye. I closed the door and turned to the stairs. "Hey, the room is already heated and I changed the blankets to some new ones for you. You can sleep whenever you feel sleepy. Just don't think of leaving ok? You'll die outside and I won't come out and search for you in this cold ass winter." I spoke loudly so Ilze could hear and was only replied with an "Okay! Goodnight, and thanks for everything!" I didn't reply, just said a weak 'Goodnight' that I'm certain no one heard, and went into my room, I closed the door and flopped on my bed. I made a burrito out of myself with my blankets and I guess I was so tired, both physically and mentally, because I fell asleep almost immediately..
- Writer
