Not as it semeed

divergent

As the night stretched out before me, filled with uncertainty and possibility, I felt a sense of excitement building within me. The unknown held a certain allure, a promise of adventure and discovery that beckoned me forward into the darkness.

I could sense that the night had more in store for me, that it held secrets and surprises waiting to be revealed. The air was charged with anticipation, and I felt a thrill of anticipation as I wondered what the hours ahead would bring.

The world seemed to hold its breath, waiting for the moment when everything would shift and change. I knew that whatever lay ahead, I was ready to embrace it with an open heart and a sense of courage.

As I stood there, on the threshold of the unknown, I felt a surge of determination rising within me. Whatever challenges or joys the night had in store, I was ready to face them head-on, guided by the flickering light of hope that burned within me.

And so, with a sense of purpose and anticipation, I stepped forward into the night, ready to embrace whatever destiny had in store for me. The night was still young, and I was ready to meet it with open arms and an adventurous spirit.

I decide to change to the pajamas I was given and sat on the bed that Jay came into the room .I saw Jay looking at me with red scary eyes, half naked. The ground in my world started shaking. My heart experienced earthquakes of biblical proportions, My mind was undergoing serious earth tremors, I wonder what's happening. 'Mike, I thought Jay was asleep in another room,?' I ask confusedly.

'Jay, tell her,' Mike says. 'Woman, you came all the way from Nairobi thinking you were coming to feast? Actually you'll be on a feast because we are going to feast on you tonight,' Jay says rage thrumming through his veins. 'Mike please, tell me this is not happening, what does he mean? What's going on Mike,?' you ask Mike. The handsome looks of Mike are now subdued by wrinkles on the forehead in uncountable and humongous numbers.

In a wink of an eye Jay was on My legs. Mike was holding my hands. They decide to put me on the bed. I try to scream but nobody there knew me or at least cared about you. The room was noise proof, anybody on the outside couldn't hear me. Tears started making elevens on my cheeks, my head was oozing blood profusely, my heart was burning with anger, my legs were trembling, whips, tight collars, muzzles, electric prods, bullhooks, pairs of pliers, hammers and even a gun. 'Try to scream again and I'm going to shoot you,' Jay said. Everybody fears guns, even gun holders fear guns. I told them in a low humbling tone, 'I'll do anything you want but please don't r**e me.'

'Woman, who said we want to r**e you? You didn't come from Nairobi to be r***d by us, we won't r**e you. We will show you what we do with women like you,' Jay said. 'Then let me go please,' you request. 'Go where?' Mike bursts out smoldering with resentment.

All this time my hands are tied on the corners of the bed, the legs are tethered on ropes which are hanging on the upper side of the room. 'Oh God, why did I come to Kisumu? Why did you allow me God? Why didn't you give me signs God? Why God? Why only me God? Why,?' many questions, no answers.

'Ooh God, these guys are here to exploit me,' I talk to my guts. 'What will I do? There's nothing I can do. If I call men dogs, isn't that below who they really are?'

I ask myself a million and one questions in your mind. 'How will it be?' I start remembering my childhood, the memories, how my dad was preaching in church about homosexuality and sodomy.

It's terrifying moments like this which are like strong storms to my life that blow away my mind and spirit. They try to tear down the most essential parts of my being, my spirit. They try to do this without thinking about the attachments and things I've been holding on to. Well, my life is about to be bruised. my body is about to be crushed.

This is not r**e but threesome sodomy. Wildness is not just found in animals. A school bus driver driving carelessly, a dog kept as a pet but is deprived of food, a beautiful butterfly flying from Nairobi to meet Mr Right but meets Mr Sodomy, all these are examples of wildness.

I start recalling the Bible study lessons about where sodomy began when Lot was with his family and two angels showed up. I remember how men of Sodom wanted to sleep with the angels. I get how God destroyed the city of Sodom. 'God please destroy Jay and Mike before they harm the last organ of my digestive system,' I pray silently.

'The monsters win when you look away,' I say soothingly to my sorry heart. 'So when all is said and done, grief and emptiness is what we pay for love,?' I question the gods of love inside my heart. my eyes tightly closed, my face buried on the pillow, my legs making an angle of 140° from the ground, my body is new-born-baby naked, the monsters are watching. Outside rain continues to steadily fall as dark grey skies overshadow the stars. I think about how your three day love story will end poignantly. I pray for the moons of Jupiter and the gods of Mars to hear me with no reply.

Tragedy has struck. Pain. Doom. Despair. Misery. The depths of the oceans, the barrenness of the desert, the humidity of the jungles, the heights of the skies, and now the problems of your life.

In my life this is a game of murder,

I am making up for my blunder,

holding my heart with no surrender, laying down asunder.

In the shadows of the night,

I walk a path of redemption,

Haunted by my past,

seeking a new direction.

In this game of murder,

I seek to right my wrongs,

A chance for forgiveness,

a melody of songs.

With each step I take,

I feel the weight of my sins,

But I refuse to falter,

determined to begin.

No surrender in my heart,

no fear in my eyes,

I'll face the darkness head-on,

beneath the starlit skies.

Laying down the burden

that has held me back,

Breaking free from chains,

on a new track.

Asunder from my past,

I rise from the ashes,

Embracing the night,

as my soul clashes.

In this game of murder,

I'll find my way,

A journey of redemption,

come what may.

With courage as my guide,

and hope as my light,

I'll forge a new path,

through the darkest night.

Jay is already holding my leg. Finger is on the trigger. He's looking at me with a very long face, a less human dimension. Jay is about to do the worst defilement a human being can possibly do to your body.