Chapter Twenty-Nine
1969 Words
The first thing Rowan became aware of was the pounding.
Not footsteps.
Not voices.
Her head.
Gods.
It felt like someone had taken a hammer to her skull.
A low groan escaped before she could stop it.
The forest floor shifted beneath her.
Cool air brushed against her skin.
Something warm rested over her shoulders.
A blanket.
Rowan frowned.
Confused.
Slowly, she opened her eyes.
The world was blurry.
Green.
Brown.
Sunlight filtering through leaves overhead.
For several long seconds, nothing made sense.
Then a familiar voice broke through the fog.
"Rowan?"
Her stomach dropped.
Immediately.
She squeezed her eyes shut.
No.
No, no, no.
Please no.
The memories hit all at once.
The wine.
The conversation.
The kiss.
The fight.
I DO SEE YOU.
I should have.
The breath left her lungs.
Pain slammed into her chest so hard she almost welcomed the headache.
"Rowan."
Closer this time.
Concerned.
"Are you okay?"
Slowly, she opened her eyes again.
Kael was kneeling beside her.
His expression looked awful.
Tired.
Worried.
Guilty.
Good.
A part of her hated that thought.
The rest didn't.
She pushed herself upright.
Immediately regretted it.
The forest tilted.
Her stomach lurched.
Gods.
Everything hurt.
A hand reached toward her.
Instinctively.
Automatically.
Kael.
Rowan saw it coming.
Saw the concern in his eyes.
Saw the careful way he moved.
And hated herself for still wanting that concern.
"Rowan, you're bleeding."
Only then did she feel it.
The dried blood near her temple.
The ache hidden beneath the pounding in her head.
She didn't care.
Kael's hand moved closer.
Rowan slapped it away.
Hard.
The sound echoed through the clearing.
Both of them froze.
The look on Kael's face nearly broke something inside her.
Good.
Let it break.
"I'm fine."
The lie sounded harsh.
Sharp.
Unrecognizable.
She didn't care.
Slowly, Rowan stood.
The blanket slipped.
She caught it just before it fell.
The movement sent another wave of dizziness through her.
She clenched her jaw.
Refused to show it.
Refused to give him anything else.
For a moment, neither spoke.
Then Rowan turned.
And started walking.
Away.
Back toward Fernhaven.
Back toward the inn.
Anywhere but here.
"Rowan."
His voice followed her immediately.
She stopped.
Her hands clenched at her sides.
Then she spun around.
"I SAID I'M FINE."
The words exploded from her.
Louder than she'd intended.
The forest fell silent.
Kael looked like she'd struck him.
Again.
Good.
No.
Not good.
Nothing about this was good.
The headache worsened.
The hurt worsened.
Everything worsened.
Kael took a slow breath.
"We should talk about last night."
A laugh escaped her.
Short.
Humorless.
Dangerous.
The kind that usually came before someone got punched.
"Talk about it?"
The words tasted bitter.
She shook her head.
"Honestly, Kael, I don't ever want to talk to you again."
The silence that followed was devastating.
Because she meant it.
At least right now.
At least while her heart still felt like this.
Something flickered across his face.
Pain.
Real pain.
For some reason, that only made her angrier.
"More importantly," she continued, "right now I just want to get the hell out of here."
For a moment, she thought he might argue.
Thought he might try to stop her.
Instead, Kael simply nodded.
Once.
"Okay."
That somehow hurt more.
Without another word, Rowan turned and started walking.
This time he didn't stop her.
The trip back to Fernhaven passed in complete silence.
No conversation.
No apologies.
No attempts to explain.
Just the sound of their footsteps through the trees.
The bond remained.
A faint thread stretched painfully between them.
Neither acknowledged it.
Neither wanted to.
By the time the inn came into view, Rowan felt exhausted beyond reason.
The headache still hadn't faded.
Neither had the hurt.
Inside, the suite felt different.
Smaller.
Colder.
Wrong.
The same books sat on the table.
The same dishes remained in the kitchen.
The same wine bottles stood beside the counter.
Evidence of a different version of themselves.
A different version of yesterday.
The moment the door closed behind them, Rowan headed straight for the bedroom.
The blanket remained wrapped tightly around her shoulders.
She didn't look at Kael.
Didn't speak.
Didn't stop.
The bedroom door shut with a quiet click.
For several long moments, Rowan simply stood there.
Staring at nothing.
Trying not to think.
Trying not to remember.
Trying not to feel.
The effort failed immediately.
Gods.
Everything hurt.
With shaking hands, she dug fresh clothes from her bag.
The simple motions felt strangely difficult.
Like her body belonged to someone else.
Like she was moving through water.
Eventually she managed to dress.
Pulled on her boots.
Brushed leaves from her hair.
Wiped the dried blood from her temple.
The cut still stung.
She barely noticed.
The woman staring back at her from the mirror looked exhausted.
Eyes red.
Face pale.
Not quite herself.
Rowan looked away first.
A few minutes later, she opened the bedroom door and stepped back into the suite.
Kael was standing near the window.
He looked up immediately.
Their eyes met.
Then Rowan looked away.
Without speaking, she crossed the room and grabbed her bag.
Packing gave her something to do.
Something to focus on.
Something that wasn't Kael.
Clothes disappeared into the borrowed bag.
Books followed.
The brush.
The sweater.
Anything she could find.
Across the room, Kael began packing too.
The silence stretched endlessly.
Hours ago, this room had felt warm.
Comfortable.
Safe.
Now it felt enormous.
Like there were miles between them instead of a few feet.
Rowan folded another shirt.
Then another.
Then another.
Her throat tightened.
She ignored it.
The last thing she wanted was to cry again.
Not here.
Not now.
Not in front of him.
So she kept packing.
And Kael kept packing.
And neither of them spoke.
The packing eventually ended.
Neither commented on the silence.
Neither seemed interested in breaking it.
Once everything was gathered, they checked out of the inn.
No bakery.
No bookstore.
No lingering walks through Fernhaven.
The town that had felt magical only a day earlier now blurred around Rowan.
She barely looked at it.
The headache still pounded relentlessly behind her eyes.
Her exhaustion had settled deep into her bones.
And every time she accidentally thought about last night, the hurt returned all over again.
By the time they reached the edge of town, Kael finally stopped.
Rowan looked up.
A vehicle waited nearby.
Simple.
Unremarkable.
Practical.
"We're driving back."
The statement caught her off guard.
Immediately, irritation flared.
"I can walk."
Kael looked at her.
Then at the cut on her temple.
Then back at her.
The expression on his face suggested he thought that was the stupidest thing she'd ever said.
Which was saying something.
"I'm sure you can."
The answer remained frustratingly calm.
"But we're driving."
Rowan opened her mouth.
Ready to argue.
Ready to fight.
Ready to tell him exactly where he could shove his vehicle.
Then her head throbbed.
Again.
The world tilted slightly.
Again.
And suddenly the idea of walking for hours sounded like a special kind of torture.
Gods.
She hated when he was right.
Without another word, Rowan climbed into the passenger seat.
The door shut behind her.
Silence immediately filled the vehicle.
Kael slid into the driver's seat a moment later.
For several long seconds, neither moved.
Neither spoke.
Then Rowan turned her head.
Looked directly at him.
And finally broke the silence.
"When we get back to Silver Moon, I'm requesting a meeting with the Elders."
Kael froze.
The words settled heavily between them.
Dangerous.
Final.
Rowan held his gaze.
Refusing to look away.
Refusing to back down.
"I'm done playing this game."
The pain that crossed his face was brief.
Almost invisible.
But Rowan saw it.
Good.
He deserved to hear it.
Because she was tired.
Tired of wondering.
Tired of hoping.
Tired of pretending this wasn't destroying her.
The trial had been dragging them both through hell.
And she couldn't do it anymore.
Not like this.
For a long moment, Kael said nothing.
The silence stretched.
Heavy.
Painful.
Then finally—
"Okay."
Just one word.
Quiet.
Controlled.
And somehow it hurt more than an argument would've.
Because there was no fight left in it.
No resistance.
No attempt to stop her.
Kael started the vehicle.
And together, they began the drive home.
The drive began in silence.
Not awkward silence.
Not uncertain silence.
The kind that came after something had broken.
The kind that settled into the spaces between people and refused to leave.
The road stretched endlessly ahead.
Trees blurred past the windows.
Neither spoke.
Rowan stared out at the passing forest.
Determined not to look at him.
Determined not to think.
Neither effort was particularly successful.
The headache remained.
A dull, relentless pounding behind her eyes.
Every bump in the road made it worse.
The exhaustion wasn't much better.
She hadn't truly slept.
Not really.
Not after the wine.
Not after the fight.
Not after running herself into the ground.
Gods.
Just thinking about it made her tired.
Beside her, Kael kept his eyes on the road.
One hand rested loosely on the steering wheel.
The other on the center console.
Steady.
Controlled.
As though his entire world hadn't exploded the night before.
Rowan looked away immediately.
The silence stretched.
Minutes passed.
Then more.
Eventually, her eyelids grew heavy.
She fought it.
Lost.
Fought it again.
Lost again.
At some point her head tipped against the window.
The cool glass felt surprisingly nice.
A few moments later, sleep claimed her completely.
---
Kael noticed almost immediately.
The tension in her shoulders disappeared first.
Then the stubborn set of her jaw.
Then her breathing softened.
Sleep.
Finally.
A strange mixture of relief and guilt settled in his chest.
Carefully, he glanced toward her.
The sight hurt more than he expected.
The dried cut near her temple.
The exhaustion etched across her features.
The dark circles beneath her eyes.
Gods.
She looked exhausted.
Not just physically.
Emotionally.
The realization settled heavily in his stomach.
Because he knew why.
He knew exactly why.
I did this.
The thought came immediately.
Mercilessly.
The cut.
The sleepless night.
The tears.
The heartbreak.
All of it.
A muscle in his jaw tightened.
The forest rolled past outside.
Unnoticed.
For the first time since finding Rowan, Kael found himself wishing the bond didn't exist.
Not because he didn't want her.
Because he hated what it was doing to her.
Hated the impossible position it had placed them both in.
Orion remained unusually quiet.
The wolf hadn't spoken in hours.
That worried Kael more than anything.
Because Orion always had something to say when Rowan was involved.
Always.
Now there was only silence.
And beneath it—
Pain.
The wolf was hurting too.
Kael gripped the steering wheel a little tighter.
Gods.
Everything hurt.
Hours passed.
The road continued.
The silence remained.
Eventually Rowan stirred.
A small movement.
A faint frown.
Then her eyes opened.
For a moment she looked confused.
Disoriented.
Then she remembered.
Kael watched the realization happen.
Watched the wall return.
The distance.
The hurt.
It happened so quickly it almost felt physical.
She looked away first.
Toward the window.
Toward the passing trees.
Anywhere but him.
"How much longer?"
The question came quietly.
Polite.
Distant.
Not a trace of warmth remained.
Kael swallowed.
"About an hour."
"Okay."
That was all.
Nothing more.
The silence returned immediately.
Somehow worse than before.
Because now he knew she wasn't simply angry.
She was done.
At least for now.
And Kael couldn't blame her.
The road stretched endlessly ahead.
Carrying them back toward Silver Moon.
Back toward the trial.
Back toward decisions neither of them were ready to make.
For the first time since leaving Fernhaven, Kael found himself dreading what waited at the end of the road.
- Writer
