KISS
1278 Words
Tessa woke the next morning feeling like her skull was filled with static.
One almost-kiss.
One moment of weakness.
And now her entire twelve-day experiment felt like it was collapsing in slow motion.
She hid under her blanket and groaned. “I can’t do this.”
Jamie, of course, barged into her room uninvited, holding two mugs of peppermint mocha. “Good morning, my guilty little Christmas elf.”
“Leave me here to die,” she mumbled.
Jamie sat on the edge of the bed. “You are dramatic. But also, yes, you are in love.”
“I am not in love.”
“You nearly kissed him last night.”
“That doesn’t mean anything!”
He took a sip of his drink. “It means you’re doomed, darling.”
She threw a pillow at him.
By noon, after two coffees, one mental breakdown, and an entire motivational speech to herself in the bathroom mirror, Tessa made a plan:
She was going to pull away.
No dates.
No calls.
Just space.
Distance would reset her brain.
Distance would help her stick to the rules.
Distance was safe.
So she didn’t text Rowan back.
Not immediately.
Not an hour later.
Not even after rereading his “Had a great time last night” message at least twelve times.
She ignored him all day.
By evening, she felt sick with guilt.
At around 7 p.m., someone knocked on her door.
She froze.
Jamie yelled from the living room, “If that’s the taco delivery guy, tell him I’m in love and ready to commit!”
Tessa opened the door…
And Rowan stood there, his hands shoved in his pockets, breath fogging in the cold hallway, cheeks flushed from winter air.
Her heart plummeted.
“Hi,” he said softly.
“Rowan. What— why are you here?”
He gave a small, nervous shrug. “You didn’t answer my texts. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
The sincerity in his voice nearly broke her.
“I’m fine,” she managed. “I was just… busy.”
“Oh.”
One syllable, and it carried disappointment like a shadow.
He nodded slowly. “Right. I didn’t want to intrude. I, um… I got you something.”
He held up a paper bag. She blinked.
“What is that?”
He smiled a little. “Chestnut hot chocolate. You said once you’d never tried it. Figured tonight was cold enough that you’d want to.”
And just like that… her retreat plan shattered.
“You came all the way here because… you remembered that?”
“Yeah.” His voice went gentle. “I remember what you say.”
Jamie, behind her in the living room, silently mouthed: OMG marry him
“Do you… want to come in?” she asked, because she physically couldn’t stop herself.
“Only if you want me to.”
She opened the door wider.
That was all he needed.
Inside, Rowan looked around the apartment like it was becoming familiar — like he liked the feeling of being here. He set the hot chocolate on the coffee table and sat beside her on the couch.
Jamie immediately evacuated the space, whispering as he passed behind Rowan, “Don’t mind me, I’m but a humble ghost.”
Tessa glared. Rowan smiled.
After half an hour of talking about everything and nothing — his job, her “life coaching,” the worst holiday gifts they’d ever gotten — Rowan asked:
“Can I take you somewhere?”
Her chest squeezed in panic and excitement. “Right now?”
“Just a short walk. You don’t even need a coat. I’ll be your heater.”
She choked on air.
Jamie peeked around the kitchen wall. “GOOD GOD.”
Rowan grinned.
“Come on,” he said softly. “Trust me.”
She didn’t trust herself.
But she trusted him.
They stepped outside into the quiet December night — the city glowing, rooftops dusted with frost.
Rowan guided her down the street, then around the corner, then to a little side alley she had never noticed.
At the end of it was a courtyard draped with cascading Christmas lights — thousands of golden strands shimmering overhead like a sparkling winter canopy.
Tessa stopped breathing.
“Rowan… this is…”
“I found it last week,” he said quietly. “It felt like the kind of place you’d like.”
Her heart clenched so tight it hurt.
“You think a lot about what I like,” she whispered.
He stepped closer, slow, deliberate, careful not to overstep. “Yeah. I guess I do.”
They stood beneath the lights, silence humming between them, charged and warm and terrifyingly intimate.
He reached out and gently touched the sleeve of her sweater.
Not her hand.
Not her waist.
Just the sleeve.
As if asking permission.
She didn’t pull away.
Rowan leaned in — not for a kiss, just close enough that his forehead almost brushed hers.
“Tessa,” he murmured, “if I’m going too fast… tell me.”
She swallowed hard.
“You aren’t.”
His eyes softened, a mixture of relief and tenderness she didn’t know what to do with.
“Okay,” he whispered.
They didn’t kiss.
They didn’t have to.
Sometimes the almost-touch is louder.
As they walked back to her place, Rowan said something that threw her completely off balance.
“I like you,” he said simply. “And I know it’s fast, and I don’t want to push… but I don’t want to pretend like I don’t feel that.”
Her breath vanished.
“And if you need slow,” he added softly, “I’ll go slow. If you need space, I’ll give it. If you need me to wait… I’ll wait.”
She stared at him, knowing he meant every word.
Knowing he had no idea she was using him.
Knowing this was getting dangerous.
“Rowan…”
Her voice cracked.
He reached for her hand — again, slow, giving her time to pull away.
She didn’t.
“Don’t think too hard,” he whispered. “Just be here with me.”
And for the first time since her deal with the publisher…
She let herself be.
⸻
At her door, neither of them moved. The night felt electric, charged with every unspoken thought between them.
“Goodnight, Tessa,” Rowan murmured, his hand lingering near hers.
“Goodnight,” she whispered back, but before she could step inside, he gently cupped her cheek, thumb brushing over her skin.
Her breath hitched. Time slowed.
“Tessa…” His voice was soft, steady, impossible to resist. He leaned in, and this time, she didn’t stop him.
Their lips met in a careful, tentative kiss—soft at first, testing, then melting into something warmer, urgent, undeniable. The world outside vanished: the twinkling lights, the cold air, even Jamie’s distant, muffled exclamation somewhere in the background. All that existed was this moment, this kiss.
When they finally pulled back, faces inches apart, Tessa’s heart was racing, her cheeks warm, and she couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face.
Rowan rested his forehead against hers. “You’re incredible,” he murmured. “And I don’t want to wait anymore than I have to.”
She laughed softly, breathless. “Neither do I.”
He kissed her again—this time slower, deeper—and for the first time since her “experiment” began, Tessa let herself fall, completely, without guilt, without rules.
Behind them, Jamie quietly retreated, muttering under his breath, “Finally.”
/
- Writer
