Across the worlds

Self discovery

Born in a small village named Chengyang, but raised in Beijing, Xīao Līng was very confident girl who grew up with a love for sports.

She was tall, athletic and good looking if you may name it. She had long hair, she usually made a wolfcut and made a ponytail above and half hair down. She was masculine looking, and her dress sense was mostly inspired by male artists.

Her heart was always calling sports, Līng used to play different sports simultaneously, till she realised that it was hard to balance all of them with her school work.

Badminton was her go to, she had discovered it on television and decided to play it. It was not a common sport in her village so her mother decided to relocated them to the city. Her aim was not only to make her a badminton star but to also ensure she gets better educational resources.

Līng Līng, which was her pet name, was given by her grandparents who adored her since she was a tiny little baby. They took care of her mostly when her mother was busy with her work schedule, she was working as an English teacher in one of the schools in Beijing.

Līng had lived most of her life surrounded by girls, she played with girls and barely had interaction with boys. During her teenage years she discovered her real self. She was attracted to the same gender, that's when she started noticing she liked girls in a romantic way. Her neighbour Zhang Meili was her first crush but she never opened about that to her.

She was still in the closet back then, her room had a lot posters about female artists

Her mother only took it as her being a fan, not her having celebrity crushes. Līng's mother and grandparents found out she was not straight from her phone.

This happened right before she could go to high school.

She had fainted and her mother needed to use her phone to call an ambulance, I don't know how she came across photos of her wearing rainbow socks and a video of her saying she was lesbian.

For a moment, her mother had forgotten she were to call an ambulance. She remembered after a while and sweared to address this issue when they came back from the hospital. Līng's mother was very conservative, she also had hopes to one day see her daughter getting married to another man, not a woman!!!

The moment she was about to get released from the hospital, the doctor had informed her mother that, she had anxiety and trouble with her heart, it seemed like she had a lot going on in her mind but couldn't open up to anyone. The family was advised to treat her with care and ensure she doesn't get stressed otherwise the condition was going to worsen.

When they arrived home after the discharge, Līng's mother didn't know where to start, she was furious but she also couldn't ignore the doctor's advice. She then turned to face her daughter and said, "I'm your mother, if there is something troubling you or anything you want to say, you can always talk to me". I guess that was her trying to convince Līng to tell her the truth about her sexuality.

Līng still kept it to herself until one day the two had an argument and her mother accidentally brought the topic up. She was furious, Līng was just standing there, crying and all she could say was," I didn't do it intentional, I happened to like girls". Now her mother understood why she liked wearing tomboy styled clothes.

"I see, now you even wearing boy clothes because you want to date girls", that was her mothers words that pricked her like a thorn. She then decided to run away from home, but she chose to finish her high school first before deciding to leave and start her own life.

Everyday there was an argument regarding this whole same gender love issue at home, her mother had once dragged her to church saying demons had possessed her.

Līng was really pained about all this, nevertheless, she made sure she passed her studies at school. Her future depended on her. Then final exams approached, she was mostly staying at her neighbours house on the excuse of her studying. We all know she was also avoiding arguments with her mother.

Why was she being homophobic????

At this point, her grandparents also knew about her sexuality, at first they were mad about it but later on they came to terms with it. They had told Līng that it didn't matter who she dated later on in life, all they wanted to see was her living a happy life. I guess they were the reason why Līng was able to get past her mother's taunts everyday.

Immediately after taking her final exams, she started checking universities and majors she could study. Her passion for sports made her more hungry for it, she was even looking for sport related courses.

She then decided to study 'Bachelors of science in Sports coordination', so when sponsorships abroad opened she applied.

She aimed for one of the best universities in Finland, it was called 'College of Sports Stars'. All courses in that college were related to sports, so no Agricultural forestry there!!!

Līng was really brave, applying for colleges abroad without consulting her mother??? Within a week, she was admitted, the college had pre collected her results from the marking centre, now that she had passed, she directly got admitted and she was going to study on a fully funded scholarship.

She told her mother, who was very furious and told her she was not going anywhere. "No one is going to stop me from achieving my dreams", that was Līng, standing on business. She was not going to let anyone meddle with her academic life and also her sports journey. She even started packing her bags!!!!