Love After Divorce

5: Rising Ashes

I feel myself being pulled out of the well of darkness, and gradually into an environment stained by the stench of medicine, and an annoying beeping noise.

My mouth feels like someone has shoved ten pounds of cotton candy in it, and I open my eyes and look around groggily, exhaustion disconcerting my ability to think straight. Everywhere is so bright, and it forces me to blink a few times, groans slipping out of me. Am I dead or something? I wasn't quite informed that I needed shades in the afterlife…

"O thank God! You're finally awake!" Someone says at the far end and before I can decipher who it is, I feel myself bear hugged and all the air leaves my lungs.

"O my God, Sofia, you scared the wet s**t out of me. I thought you were dead!"

Me too I sigh mentally when I recognize Cherry's voice. Images of that night flash in my eyes and I feel so ashamed of myself. The razors, bottle of pills, everything I had done, and I know that if I had seen Cherry in that sort of situation, I would completely lose my mind.

Casper comes in looking tired and unkempt, but the relief I feel from not seeing a judgmental look on his face is all I need to muster up the courage to speak again. "I'm so…" I start but grunt at the itchiness in my throat. "Drink some water, Sofie. You've been out for some days now," Casper hands me a glass of water but my hand is shaking so much that he helps me down it. Cherry still hasn't let go of me, and from my clothes sticking on my back I know she's crying.

"Cherry…please forgive. I'm so sorry for what I did," I whisper and nudge her head, and she looks up at me, sniffling. More shame ate at me. She looked terrible; more sleep-deprived and starved, and Cherry is the type that never looks less than gorgeous.

"I'm so sorry guys."

"I'm just so relieved that you're okay, Sofie," Cherry says and wipes her eyes with a smile, "but don't ever do that to us again…ever."

"I promise," I squeak, then shift my gaze to Casper who I also needed to apologize to. Because of me, Cherry went through a lot, and seeing her like that must have hurt him so much.

"I also need to apologize to you, Casper. I'm really sorry for putting you two through this," I sigh, shaking my head slowly, "You two didn't deserve to go through this–"

"It's okay, Sofie. As long as you're alright, then it's fine," he replies, then asks, "why did you do it though?"

I had expected this question, but not so soon. Cherry stares at me curiously as well as Casper and they wait patiently for me to gather myself. I exhale and lean back on my bed, then narrate everything Alex told me that night, and when I finish my best friends look like they are ready to commit murder, especially Cherry.

"That…that arrogant and selfish ball sucking bastard!" She curses angrily, followed by a long chain of other profanities capable of tainting a saint. It takes a while for me to convince her not to barge into the Black mansion and shove a knife into Alex's mouth.

"You said I'd been out for days…"

Casper nods and comes to sit beside Cherry, "Four days, actually. When we found you and took you to the hospital, the doctors had to pump your stomach to keep you from getting worse."

"Yeah, you were paper white with white stuff coming out of your mouth. The cuts on your wrist too were bleeding so I gave you some of my blood," Cherry mumbles, holding my hands, and I wonder how lucky I am to have such a wonderful bestie. I couldn't make them suffer, especially now that Cherry is pregnant, so whether I like it or not, I'll face reality.

***

After I was discharged from the hospital, and taken back to Cherry's place, she sat me down and talked a lot of sense into my head, giving me reasons why I shouldn't, in her words, go back to that egoistic asshole, but my mind was made up before she could tell me anything.

He wants me to sign the divorce papers? I'll sign them, and any other documents necessary. I will not continue to let him take advantage of my love and kindness; he's already destroyed my mental health, mangled my heart, and forced me on an emotional roller-coaster.

So when I pull up in the Black mansion, burst through the doors, and storm towards Alex's office, I know there's no going back. However, Alex isn't in his office.

"Mrs Sofia?"

I whirl around and break into a smile when I sight Reginald's friendly face. His unchanged black suit is a little bit roughed up, with a duster as an addition to his uniform. He smiles softly, and I hug him tightly.

"Welcome back, Mrs Sofia, it's good to see you again." "I'm so happy to see you too, Reginald. I'm glad I came back, but I won't be staying for long…"

"Your reasons are valid, Mrs Sofia," he purses his lips detestfully, which makes me ask, "What's been happening here since I left?"

"Nothing has gotten better, Mrs Sofia, instead a few things have changed to suit the new Mrs's taste. A few workers have been fired for very small and pettish missteps, meals have been changed to her uncultured preferences, salaries have been cut on her whims, and this monstrosity," he gestured towards his uniform and scowled, "This monstrosity happened after I shooed her naughty feline away from the kitchens."

He is angry. Reginald is a suit and tie kind of man, not the pink dress coat butler. That woman had done a lot of damage here in such a short time.

"I feel you, Reginald. The moment that woman arrived everything I loved crumbled." He gives me a pat on my head and I smile gratefully. "Do you know where Alex is right now? Is he home?"

"Yes, Mrs Sofia. Master Alex has retired to his chambers," he says, and I thank him with one last hug before heading upstairs.

I needed to get this over with because there was a good chance that I could run into his sister or worse, his mother. They'd waste no time to dump salt on my flayed skin, so I open the bedroom door, my pen ready for signing.

However, the scene before me pins me in place, and the tears I thought I'd never shed again, pour down my face.

I had assured myself that I'd be fine, and everything would be fine once I got here…

I lied. I f*****g lied!